Smiles and Laughter

He's Here!!

2007-08-30T21:30:00.000-05:00

He's here! August 17th at 1:49 p.m. central time Brayton was born. 9 lbs. 8 oz. Happy and healthy!

Sorry my sleep-deprived brain is just posting this, but things went very well. Brayton is so very healthy. We are so blessed!!

The c-section went fine. Recovery is slow, which is driving me crazy, but it was definitely the best decision. Brayton had the umbilical cord around his neck twice, so if we had done the version procedure then it probably would have ended up in fetal distress and an emergency c-section a month early. Again, thank you God for watching over us there!

He is such a good baby. I didn't know any different with Rachel. My mom told me she was unusually fussy, and I knew her health problems caused her to be a little more fussy than average. But, now that I have a 'normal' baby I see just how difficult she was when she was first born. Now, I hope for Brayton that this isn't just the calm before the storm. LOL.

Rachel is getting used to her baby brother. She is so sweet and smart, and really sensitive to others feelings. So, when he cried for the first time it really upset her. But, she now just says "Brayton is noisy" and lets it roll off her back. She gives him hugs and kisses and mentions him when she mentions the rest of the family. It is so cute.

All is well. Sleep deprivation has kicked in (he is up every 2 hours at night!), but other than that, we're functioning!! Thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers. I'll update again when I can think straight!

Friday, August 17th is the day!

2007-08-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

Well, I have a c-section scheduled for Friday. Think about me around 2 pm central time when I'm getting my guts cut open. Sounds appealing, doesn't it?

Oh, if he does a sommersault between now and then all bets are off. But, I'm losing hope on that. That's OK, I didn't want all that pain of labor, anyway. We'll try it the other way this time. I'll let you know which I recommend.

Wow, time flies!

2007-07-27T14:35:00.000-05:00

My little girl turns two today!

It's quite amazing to me. Everyone told me when I was pregnant with her that she would grow up fast, to cherish every moment. I had no idea. I just HAD NO IDEA.

I had no idea about a lot of things. I didn't realize how my feelings would suddenly be so intense. That nothing else would really matter to me in life more than her. I just didn't "get it". Then she was born and it hit me light a bolt of lightning.

Oh, sure I knew I would love her. I loved the very idea of having her. I just didn't understand my non-emotional self could feel such things.

She amazes me every day! The way she smiles first thing in the morning. How darn smart she is. How cute she is. The way she hugs and kisses everything. The way she makes even the grumpiest of people smile. That's my favorite part.

I pray I never take the gift of her for granted. That would be the biggest sin of all.

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

With all that can happen, it's really amazing any of us are here.

2007-07-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

A friend once said that. She probably doesn't even remember saying it, but it's a true statement. If you think about all the things that have to happen at the beginning, during, and end of a pregnancy it is quite amazing. God really thought that procedure through before he made it.

My unborn kidlet is breech. Frank breech. Which basically means his butt is at the bottom, head at the top, and his legs are straight and tucked up by his face. With just over 4 weeks to go that isn't good. At this point only 4% of babies are in the breech position. Crap.

What's bad about the frank breech position is that it's even harder for him to move. The doctor described it like trying to turn a bobby pin instead of a marble. Round is better.

I have to do exercises to try to get him to move. I go back in Monday, July 30th for another check. If he hasn't moved by Monday the doctor will give me 2 options.
1) keep doing the exercises and if he doesn't move by August 15th then schedule a c-section, or
2) come back Tuesday to do what they call a external cephalic version (ECV). It's done by the doctor applying pressure to the abdomen and manually manipulating the baby into a head-down position.

Unfortunately, the ECV only works about 50% of the time, and it isn't without risks, there's a chance the placenta could separate or a drop in the baby's heart rate, so they monitor the baby the whole time. The risks, I'm told, are rare, though. But I've also been told this procedure is quite painful. Oh boy.

To make matters worse, my doctor is going on vacation Wednesday next week (Aug 1-14th), so if I had complications from the ECV that night or the next day he won't be around. Darn doctors and their lives. How dare he have a family. lol.

Well, all I can do is pray he moves between now and Monday.

The drugstore

2007-07-17T00:09:00.000-05:00

I was standing milling over the contact lens solution at our local drugstore last week trying to figure out if, being 8 months pregnant, I could bend down to get the bottle on the bottom shelf and actually get back up again. I reach to kneel, and suddenly I was approached by a very young looking fellow. Maybe 16 or so by my estimation, although I admit kids are starting to look younger and younger to me these days.

He asks "Ma'am, do you know where the pregnancy test kits are?" while his ears are turning a shade this side of beet red.

I look at him a second and say "Why, I look like I should, don't I?" Trying to bend back up.

I almost told him "they are over by the condoms", but then I realized at his age if he's looking for the pregnancy tests he probably hasn't a clue where the condoms are, either.

I replied "This way" and proceeded to lead him to the pregnancy test isle.

He said "Thanks". I start to walk away, then realize he just stood there. Staring. At the yeast infection medications. Now, I will give him this, the boxes are the same size and shape.

I went back and said "No, here they are", and pointed to three of them. He turned that familiar shade of red. Then I said "You might as well get a kit with two, it's cheaper than buying them individually, and no matter what the outcome she's going to want to test twice".

He said "Thanks". Then he said "Is this your first?" I said "No, second". He said "Oh. This will be my first".

Sigh. I hope it turned out the way he wanted.

The Life of a Preacher's Wife.

2007-07-10T21:06:00.001-05:00

My husband, the kind man he is, thinks of me often. But, I will say, we've been married 14 years. So, the flowers and candy don't come nearly as often as when we were courting. Oh, he does do it occassionally. Maybe once a year for no reason. Twice if I'm particularly lucky. I'm not complaining, mind you.

I've been particularly whiny and grumpy lately. I haven't been sleeping well (gee, have I mentioned that before?). I ache. It's hot. Being 8 months pregnant in this humidity isn't a day at the park. Wait, maybe it is. Anyway, today, my smiling husband walked in with a basket of irises, red and white roses, and yellow mums. Irises are my favorite! I was so excited!

I think he saw the excitement on my face, because he immediately put out his hand like he was saying, "stop".

Then he says "They're left over from a funeral we had. The family didn't want them".

LOL. Well, it's the thought that counts.

A night in the life of...

2007-06-30T10:49:00.000-05:00

Last night I was lying in bed sound asleep. The full moon shining through the arch in the window.

I suddenly feel *tap, tap, tap*. In my sleepy stupor I don't move.

Then I feel *shake, shake, shake*

I roll over rather irritated and say in a nasty tone "What??" to my husband.

Now, in my defense, sleep hasn't come easy lately. Eight months pregnant, I tend to get horrible hip aches, back aches, and I'm being made to sleep on my side. Something I dispise. Besides the fact that I wake up 3 or 4 times during the night to pee. I wasn't happy to be woken up for no apparent reason.

Then I hear "I love you".

In a tone equal to my "what?" I respond.."I love you, too". Humph.

And then he rolls back over.

Then I lie there awake for about 30 minutes irritated and cursing him in my thoughts for waking me.

He didn't remember a thing the next morning.

Just when you think the wart is gone

2007-06-27T22:05:00.000-05:00

It's back.

I know, I fell off the face of the earth. I got overwhelmed. A little depressed, even, and blogging became a source of stress. I had nothing interesting to say (OK, I still don't). I can't really explain it. I really didn't think anyone would notice. But they did. And I am touched. But, now I'm back. A year and a half later. What can I say, nothing is on TV.

What have I been doing? Well, I'm pregnant again. So you can use your imagination there. Due August 25th. It's a boy! Rachel won't know what hit her. We're really excited, and this is the last one. A girl and a boy, the complete set, we're done. At least if we have our say. Everytime I say that, though, I think of my friend Angela Marie and am worried I jinx myself. Not that she isn't soooo completely blessed. But you know what I mean.

Other than that, It's the same 'ol, same 'ol here. I will post something more interesting later, when I have time. OK, no promises on the interesting part.

Weight Loss

2006-02-27T08:54:00.000-06:00

OK, I'm getting serious about it. The diet, that is. I have no excuses. I have plenty of time to exercise. Rachel loves being in her stroller. Maybe if I make a public admission here then I'll follow through with it instead of falling off the bandwagon!

First let me get this off my chest (no pun intended!)...I'll admit the thing I will miss most is regular Coke. Not the diet or the anything else variety. I feel as a Coke drinker I've almost had to be "in the closet" so to speak. People judge you when you drink regular Coke. When you go out to eat and everyone is sitting around a table ordering their water or Diet Coke and you say "Coke" they look at you like "uh, oh. You forgot to say 'diet'". When I assure them I did not forget, they scoot their chairs a little further from me and pull their children a little closer.

Maybe I'll start a "Regular Coke" drinker's movement. I'll have "Regular Coke pride" parades and "Regular Coke" bars. Maybe there will even be a TV show where they'll have a "regular coke" drinking neighbor. People will talk to me about my Coke lifestyle and debate weather it is genetic or a choice.

It isn't the caffeine I'm addicted to. I drink the caffeine free stuff at home becuase I'm breastfeeding. I like the taste. I am normally not a sweets eating person, but I love Coke. Combine Coke with a box of Better Cheddars (I'll substitute goldfish in a pinch), and I'm in HEAVEN!

It is impossible to diet and drink regular Coke, though. Well, unless that is ALL you consume, pretty much. And that's irresponsible eating. I can't stand aspartame, so no Diet Coke for me. I'll be drinking water, which is best anyway.

I need to lose about 20 pounds. Wish me luck!

*does anyone know how to make the text go along side the image on the top? If I upload a Flickr photo it does it for me but if I "steal" (shhhh!) one from google images I don't know the code to position it. Thanks"

My hot topic.

2006-02-24T14:57:00.000-06:00

Generally I avoid hot topics on my blog, mostly because this is a place for me to have fun and an outlet. If I post something controversial and there's a huge disagreement and people get hurt and people say hurtful things then it isn't a stress reliever for sure. This blog is "Smiles and Laughter" for a reason.

I'm going to sidestep my rule for just one time. It's my blog, I can do that. :) There's a topic I am pretty passionate about. I am also curious what the thinking is of those opposed to it.

Adoption. I just DON'T understand why it isn't more of an option, especially when someone is young. There are SO MANY people out there looking to adopt babies. I'm talking waiting lists of 2 years or more. People on these lists are often times two parent households who are professionals, maybe not rich, but secure.

I think it is very selfish of someone who is young (I'm talking teenage here) and single not to give their child up for adoption. I think it is also selfish of single grandparents to raise the child because they couldn't bare to see the child "given away". People say they chose to keep the child like it is a badge of honor for not "abandoning" him or her. I say what better way is there to honor a child than to allow a secure, mature two parent family who want a child so badly to raise him or her?

I understand that anything could happen to the family once the child has been adopted. The adoptive parents could become single parents due to death or divorce. However, at least there's a CHANCE there. If the baby was kept by the teenage single parent then the baby has no chance at all of having the influence of two parents.

I'm not talking economics. Economically you can make due. Babies are pretty cheap, actually. If you HAVE to you can use cloth diapers, and breastfeeding is free. You can get an entire nursery at Wal-Mart for less than $100. I'm talking maturity and stability. And by "stability" I mean emotional. It is HARD to raise a child. DAMN hard. I never knew how hard it was until I had one. It takes TWO people to keep eachother sane. It takes a lot of maturity and clear thinking, something that the most mature teenager doesn't have, especially if they are alone.

I admire the maturity of teen women and men for that matter who have considered not their own needs or wants, but what BEST suits the needs of the child and put him or her up for adoption.

I'm done with my vent. Thanks. Back to your regularly scheduled program.

Be Careful What You Wish For!

2006-02-23T11:15:00.000-06:00

Mommyhood. I'm forever excited about the next step. You know, when they first come home and sleep all the time you want them to wake up. Then they WON'T sleep (as I've whined about) and you want them to sleep more. I couldn't wait until Rachel crawled, but now that she knows how to go backwards she is getting into everything. Well, at least I just have to be careful what is behind her for now. When she figures out how to go forward, though, watch out. The dog is in trouble.

Girls go to Jupiter to get a lot Stupider

2006-02-21T09:02:00.000-06:00

Esmerelda was dumb. She didn't realize she was dumb until it was too late. After all, in elementary school and high school she made good grades. Her IQ score was 130. That's genious level everyone told her.

But Esmerelda did dumb things despite what the records revealed. She should have known she was dumb since there were signs from when she was a wee one. I guess Esmerelda was in denial. When she was about 5 she and her sister both had to go potty. Her sister beat her to the potty then told Esmerelda that mommy wouldn't mind if she went in the tub. So she did. And mommy DID mind. But Esmerelda was dumb so she believed her sister.

When Esmerelda was about 12 she was invited to a slumber party. They were playing truth or dare, a staple at 12 year old girl's slumber parties. When she was picked she chose "truth". She was asked if she was a virgin. She said "No". Of course all of the girls eyes got very wide and you could have heard a pin drop. Then Esmerelda said "Doesn't that mean you were born in September?"

Poor Esmerelda continued to do stupid things all her life. At flashing red lights she thought you were supposed to go only when it showed red. It took 10 minutes to get through an intersection with all of that stopping and starting. She never knew why people were honking at her. She thought Cheerios were Alphabits that someone had taken all the "good" letters out of. She thought "peep show" meant a play starring the Easter candy, and the word "oxymoron" meant someone with below average intelligence who had to live in a bubble.

When Esmerelda graduated from college she had to find a job. She put in resume after resume and had interview after interview. No one would hire her. Finally, she applied to be a cashier at a discount store. After the interview the interviewing supervisor was thrilled. After all, they aspire to hire people who look good on paper but are really as dumb as a brick. "We might even put her in one of our commercials" they said.

So Esmerelda took that job. And she made stupid comments to the customers, and made them mad. But the customers knew that was a part of shopping at the discount store, so they didn't mind. And Esmerelda was happy. And the supervisors were happy. And everyone lived happily ever after.

Question (this is as two parter): Are there days when you feel like Esmerelda? Have you run into any "Esmereldas" lately?

This is the Most Public of my Many Humiliations.

2006-02-19T09:11:00.000-06:00

That quote, from Jackie Chiles, the Lawyer on Seinfeld, seems appropriate. Although I suppose it's probably not the most public. I've had far worse humiliations. But I also suppose it isn't the first time I will feel like an idiot when it comes to my kid.

We tried the sleep thing I mentioned below. It worked. In fact, it worked SO well, that the first night it took her 45 minutes to get to sleep, she woke up twice in the night and it took 45 minutes each time to get her to go back to sleep. That alone is a HUGE breakthrough. By the second night it took her 10 minutes to fall asleep and she woke up and fussed for 10 minutes once, but never cried so we didn't even have to go in there. Last night she fell asleep within 30 seconds and woke up in the night but never even fussed and fell back to sleep. Naps are great, too. She still wakes up at the 30 minute mark, as usual. But now she'll cry for maybe a minute then fall back to sleep. I feel like an idiot for fretting so much about this.

Now, in my defense, we DID try something very close to this method when she was about 4 months old, and it DID NOT work. My thinking is she just wasn't ready for it yet then. My assumption was if it didn't work then, it won't work now, and it will just traumatize the kid. Boy, was I wrong.

I think Weary Hag and my husband are right, I need to quit reading the books and do what I think is right. I fret to much.

Question: What is something you worried about, and it turned out to be nothing?

Sleep.

2006-02-13T19:38:00.000-06:00

As most of you know we went to the much anticipated sleep clinic appointment last week. They basically told me what I expected.

They said she has problems "self soothing". Meaning she uses us as a crutch to get to sleep. This is nothing I didn't know. I knew this was the problem. After all, the first three months of her life before her surgery she was sick. When she was sick she needed cuddling and nurturing. Her grandparents were here, I was a SAHM, so she got the cuddling and the nurturing she needed to get herself through the experience. However, now that she is healthy she has decided she needs the cuddling and nurturing to get to sleep.

I have read many books including Baby Wise, The Baby Whisperer, and experts such as Jodi Mendell, Richard Ferber, T. Berry Brazleton, and William Sears. I have spent more time reading than anything else. I tried The Baby Whisperer method which suggests picking her up when she gets upset, but putting her back down immediately when she calms down. That absolutely did not work. I wasn't crazy about the Ferber method and didn't want to "Ferberize" Rachel. The Ferber method suggests letting her cry and leaving the room. The method says to go in for about 10 seconds after she has cried for 5 minutes, then immediately walking out and go in again for 10 seconds 10 minutes later, then walk out and go in 15 minutes later, and at 15 minute increments until she quits screaming and falls asleep on her own.

I have probably read way too much. Some experts say the Ferber Method is too traumatic. Other experts say this is the way to go. The people at the sleep clinic say it is the way to go.

They are the experts. Part of me thinks it is cruel, but part of me wonders if I am going to be one of those soft parents that protects their kid when they need to let them figure things out on their own. I mean, if I can't handle this and she is only 6 months old, when she is upset because she can't finish her math homework am I going to buckle and do it for her?

I do know one thing...her sleeping with us is NOT working, her waking up every 2 to 3 hours is NOT working either. It is effecting my dimeanor, and it isn't much good for the marriage.

If we do this, and we're leaning that way, we'll start it Thursday because Bryan is off on Friday and Saturday. Bryan and I will take turns going in. I am told the first two nights are living hell, then it gets better. I am told within a week we should be able to put her in her crib, kiss her goodnight, and she'll fall asleep on her own.

Of course, after this experience I'll probably be the one that needs medication.

Plea for Help

2006-02-10T12:00:00.000-06:00

Tuesday is Valentines Day. Now, for all of you that forgot...that's your reminder.

I must admit in my relationship with my husband when it comes to such holidays as Valentines Day and Anniversaries and things like that I'm the husband and he's the wife. He's not going to like that I said that. So, I better qualify.

He loves to mark every occassion, make a big deal, celebrate, get me gifts, etc. That's what I mean that he's the wife. Because generally it's the wifey thing to do. I'm the husband because I'd rather just forget about it and not bother. I mean, Valentines seems like such a silly Holiday. We do special things for eachother all year, I make dinner for him, if he sees that I've had a particularly bad day he will do things for me and pamper me.

This year, though, he wanted to make Valentines special. I think mostly because we have a 6 month old that I'm at home with all day every day, who doesn't sleep (I'll talk about the sleep clinic in another post very soon), and we're in a new place where I have no friends. Come to think of it, I think he thinks I'm going insane. Anyway...

He got me a gift certificate to a spa. Something we really can't afford, but he wanted me to have it. It was so sweet of him. I appreciate it, and I really need a massage.

But now I need to find something to get him. Since he spent a ton on me we I can't reciprocate with the dollar amount because we can't afford it. So, I don't know what to do. I mean, I cook for him about every night...that's not a big deal. We don't have anyone in this town to babysit, so we can't go anywhere. Or do anything we can't do with a 6 month old in tow. I do have plans for after she goes to bed...and as much as I know THAT is proably all he wants anyway, I feel like I need to do something more than THAT.

Here is my plea for help. Any suggestions??

Baby, it's cold!

2006-02-08T13:38:00.000-06:00

We went out to eat last night, something we don't get to do much anymore. We went to a Tex-mex restaruant. Now, if you've never been to Texas, you've definitely never had good Tex-Mex, and probably not good Mexican food. I love it all.

Rachel is pretty good when we go out, so I wasn't too worried about her being a little fussy. We got to the restaurant and they had the traditional Tejano music playing and bright colored walls. Perfect to keep a 6 month old entertained.

Why restaruants think putting those carseat/carriers in an upside down high chair is a good idea, I'll never know. They aren't steady at all, and I would think would be a liability. But, they all do it. So, Rachel was in her car seat carrier in the upside down high chair. The thing was wobbly, so I was holding it with my knee. She was happily playing with Mr. Banana and watching the pretty lights and hustle and bustle around us.

Then the chair wiggles and looks like it is going to topple forward. So, instinctually I reach to stop it. Of course my instinct doesn't tell me I have a large glass of ice water in front of my hand at the time. Poor Rachel was showered with ice and water. Her eyes got really wide, then she let out a loud cry. Her outfit was soaked, and there was water sitting in the bottom of the carseat/carrier. I jumped up and frantically got her out fo the carseat. Of course, by the time I got her out she was smiling and giggling like she thought it was funny.

Question: What's something that seemed horrible at the time that you laughed about later??

The Garage Sale

2006-02-05T09:05:00.000-06:00

If someone talks you into having a garage sale...run. Fast. Do not hesitate.

I went to my sister's house, 3 hours away, on Wednesday in preparation for a garage sale this last weekend. I had so much, well, "crap" that I needed to get rid of it was embarrassing, especially since we moved and I didn't have the apartment anymore. And I really needed the money. We took two truckloads of said "crap" to her house (I say "we" but I know I will get scolded for this...my sister and her boyfriend took one and my parents took the other for me). So, it seemed like a good idea at the time. We've had them before but I forgot two very important things:

1. Mom was there to help us so we had 3+ people.
2. I didn't have an infant.

I went Wednesday thinking I could price stuff Wednesday night and Thursday. I didn't take into account that Rachel would be sleeping in a strange place and for a kid that doesn't sleep much anyway this would put her back past any accomplishments we made as far as sleeping went. I put her down to sleep Wednesday night, she fell right to sleep, and in her usual 30 minutes she woke up with the bloodcurlding scream. Except she figured out that once she falls asleep mommy leaves the room and she was in a strange place, so she wouldn't go back to sleep for anything. Then of course Thursday she was a grumpy gus because she was tired. I got little done to prepare.

My sister, in her infinite wisdom, thought having the sale at 7 a.m. was a good idea. Me, knowing the idea wasn't her best, should have been more adamant about having it at 8 a.m. Especially considering I was sleeping in the same room as Rachel and if I get up, she was surely to get up. But, I didn't. So, we had to get up before light to get the crap out on the front lawn, and Rachel of course having the superpowers even in a completely asleep state to detect when I was leaving the room woke up also. Well, at least my daughter is showing talent at something.

Of course first thing Friday morning, no not at 7 a.m. but 6:30 a.m., the die-hard garage sale people came. You know, the ones that if they see a coffee pot for 50 cents they'll run over their own Aunt Edna and trample puppies to get to before anyone else.

Speaking of which, I am amazed at what people will buy. Our motto was "Put it out there, ya never know" and I think every thing that we said that about went. Curtains with a stain on them, cheap particle board furniture that had paint dripped on it, a can of oven cleaner. Even the 1973 hat decorated with yellow flowers and orange ribbon went for a few cents. Not that ALL of our stuff was that bad. I must say, we did get rid of some good crap.

All in all I'd say it was a success. I made about $400, and my sister made close to that much. And we really had nothing big, it was $400 of, well, crap.

p.s. We go to the sleep clinic tomorrow!

Question: What's something you tried that you'll never do again?

How can something so cute...

2006-01-25T14:47:00.000-06:00

Rachel on Floor 1
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

not sleep??

All I ever really needed to know I learned from my infant.

2006-01-18T19:55:00.000-06:00

Since I'm on a list kick...here is everything I've ever needed to know that I've learned from Rachel.

1. It is much more fun to blow raspberries with strained peas in your mouth.
2. Bald is beautiful.
3. You CAN fit your entire fist in your mouth.
4. If you yell loud enough eventually you'll get your way.
5. Smile at someone long enough they can't help but smile back.
6. You can wash anything.
7. If you gotta go, you gotta go. See #6.
8. You CAN get far on your looks.
9. Stick out your lower lip and you'll always get your way.
10. Riding backwards in the car is much more fun than forward.
11. Doggies are WAY COOL.
12. It is funny when you sneeze.
13. Passing gas at the dinner table is acceptable behavior.
14. And a good burp makes everyone feel better.
15. There are plenty of things to play with right on my body.
16. Two naps a day are essential

The last 50.

2006-01-18T19:38:00.000-06:00

Here they are...

51. I hate that sucker bulb thing I have to use to suck out snot from my daughter's nose
52. I like my limbs squished under my husband when I sleep.
53. I dislike the mall.
54. I always put the shopping cart in the shopping cart receptacle when finished.
55. I wish I could think of great posts on a daily basis like bloggers like Happy and Blue.
56. My husband doesn't understand my humor.
57. My guess is no one does.
58. And that's....OK.
59. I think there isn't much on TV these days.
60. I wonder why it seems to always be on?
61. I have 8 hammers
62. I'm not sure why I have 8 hammers
63. I have a ton of scissors, too.
64. But I can never seem to find any.
65. Or nail clippers.
66. I just joined Flylady's e-mail list.
67. I can never finish a project before I start another.
68. My dog needs a bath
69. I despise clipping my dog and my daughter's nails.
70. My favorite vacation was Hawaii.
71. I will probably never be able to afford to go there again.
72. I've been twice to Maui
73. I wish my dauther would sleep longer
74. We're going to a sleep clinic on February 6th.
75. I like to landscape
76. My dream would be to restore an old victorian house
77. We move too much.
78. In the 13 years we've been married we've moved 6 times.
79. That's what I get for marrying an itinerate pastor.
80. My in-laws visit once a month.
81. They drive me crazy sometimes.
82. They mean well. Usually.
83. I accidentally stuck my finger in a working light socket when I was a kid.
84. I wish my daughter lived in the days that I did..where I could go out and play in the neighborhood and just come when my mother called.
85. I always stay up way too late.
86. I haven't ridden a bike in over a year.
87. I still have the teddy bears my husband gave me when we were dating
88. I lost the promise ring he gave me when I was 16. It was stolen.
89. I look forward to getting the mail everyday.
90. Rarely is there any mail worth looking forward to.
91. I used to wear socks that matched my shrit just about every day in College.
92. I found out years later that people who didn't know me called me "Sock girl".
93. I am getting into watching the Waltons.
94. I love chocolate shakes
95. I made the All Region Choir in high school
96. I tasted my daughter's Pedialyte and it tasted like Gatorade on speed.
97. I like irises
98. I am tired 90% of the time.
99. I love baking.
100. I'm done with this list.

Is this 200 things, or 100 take two?

2006-01-16T22:48:00.000-06:00

Since my husband informed me that #2 on my last post wasn't funny, I feel obligated to post something else. However, I have nothing interesting to say. So, I'm going to do another 100 things about me list. Which will actually be 200 things about me. I know, I know, you are thinking I'm not that interesting to have 200 things. Well, blame it on my husband then.

1. I burnt my tounge.
2. I hate it when I do that.
3. I love it when it rains
4. If I don't have to go anywhere
5. I would watch HGTV all the time if my husband would let me.
6. He hates HGTV and makes fun of it.
7. I love beagles and other hound dogs
8. I had a beagle but she was from a puppy mill and had all kinds of health problems.
9. I spent thousands on her and she lived to be eight.
10. I have a 13 year old 13 pounds mutt named 'Casey'
11. Five of my close friends I met on the internet.
12. I'm kind of embarrassed about that.
13. They all live in different parts of the country and Canada.
14. I'm very easy going. Probably too easy going.
15. Sometimes I have to quit watching the news for a while because it upsets me so badly.
16. There was a time I wasn't sure I wanted kids.
17. I definitely had no idea what I was in for with kids.
18. I wouldn't change having my daughter for anything.
19. In fact, I find myself wanting another.
20. Then I come back to reality.
21. I have a hangnail.
22. I should use lotion on my hands but I never do.
23. I always seem to get it for gifts and it ends up old and crusty under my sink.
24. I know, you don't care.
25. If I start a book I feel obligated to finish it.
26. I have never done illegal drugs
27. My dog sleeps on a heating pad.
28. I hear that's not good for them, but she's 13 so I figure she deserves it.
29. I need to make my bed more often.
30. I think Pam cooking spray works better than the generic.
31. I cut my finger cleaning the garage.
32. My car is way dirtier than it should be.
33. I want to lose 15 pounds before I get pregnant again.
34. I'm putting off losing those 15.
35. I'm not sure why.
36. I lied. It's because I'm lazy.
37. I have an aversion to tape or things sticky.
38. I want a nicer digital camera
39. I like Better Cheddar crackers but not all stores carry them.
40. I'll settle for golfish if I have to.
41. These two thing don't help me with #33
42. I think the chicken came before the egg.
43. Or maybe it's the egg before the chicken
44. Or was it just that it crossed the road?
45. Certain bloggers intreague me. Some bore me. Most inspire me.
46. I like protein for breakfast
47. There aren't many protein choices for breakfast.
48. I never eat samples when offered at the grocery store.
49. Because I never know what to do with the little cup they give it to you in.
50. I'm going to finish the other 50 later. I need to get to bed.

Forget dieting...I'm having dessert!

2006-01-16T19:46:00.000-06:00

I'm having lunch with the sweet and lovely Milkmaid! If you haven't visited her blog...go do it! What are you waiting for??

**We had a great time at lunch...she looks 10 years younger than she is. She wouldn't tell me her secret. She is as nice and down to earth as her blog!**

The things that go through my mind.

2006-01-12T19:12:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I start pondering things then wonder if I should admit that I ponder these things. Oh, well, if you want to put me away to the funny farm at least I'd get some sleep!

1. Why do people assume because you are a preacher's wife that you know everything theologically? Do they think I went to seminary WITH him?

2. Why is a "nose job" and a "boob job" names for plastic surgery, but a "hand job", well, is...not?

3. Why did Ben and Jerry's quit selling Festivus flavor?

4. I know doves mate for life, but do they mate for love or is it a pre-arranged mating?

5. How in heck does my daughter have RED hair?

6. Do people actually watch "Fear Factor"?

7. Would someone please put Pat Robertson to sleep?

8. Why after 13 good years of being housebroken does my dog think she can now poop on the carpet?

9. Is there any way to attach the pacifier to my kid's lips when she sleeps?

10. Jelly Bellies are $6 a pound. Are they really worth it? Should I just be happy my husband is addicted to those and not some tobacco product?

That's all.

You Know That Movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"? I'm Jack Nicholson.

2006-01-10T16:24:00.000-06:00

I have reached the corners of all patheticness. Is that a new word? Patheticness? Regardless, it fits.

The problem with being a career person turned stay-at-home-mom is you lose your friends. When you work you have friends that work with you. And what do you talk about? Work. And if your friends aren't colleagues, then they are other kidless professionals that you picked up here or there. What do you talk about? Work. What is your life consumed with? Work.

Then, you become the SAHM. It all seems glamourous to your working kidless friends. You stay at home, go to the zoo, have playdates, and lunches with no time limits. Ahh, yes, the naive opinions of being a SAHM to those that neither stay at home nor have children.

When you make this decision your friends agree you'll keep in touch. But your once best friends in the whole wide world no longer have anything in common with you. Oh, they are happy for you that your life has taken on this all too unfamiliar path. And they intend to keep in touch with you. And they do. At first. But what was once a daily friendship turns into a weekly, then biweekly, then monthly, then the occassional Christmas Card friendship until you realize they've moved and you don't have their forwarding address.

So, here I sit. I realized on New Year's Eve that I literally hadn't been out of the house since December 10th. This from someone who traveled and was rarely in one city for a week, who had something to do or somewhere to go every weekend. Who volunteered at the church, who couldn't say "no", whose phone rang off the hook. So, I forced hubby to take me and the little one out to dinner. He suggested I find friends.

Have you ever been single and wanted to be married really bad? You know that despearate feeling? If you haven't been there certainly you've known someone who has. Well, that's me. And I have that same desperate look on my face that makes everyone run when they see me. Except I'm not looking for a husband. I want a/some friends.

Finding other SAHM's seems to be harder than I would expect. And the ones I have found already have friends and seem to be content with those. If I see another SAHM I look desperately in her eyes like a little kid, and my eyes scream "Will you be my friend?", which, by the way, is a real turnoff.

So, here I sit. Day after day. The only conversation I have is with 5 month old, and the occassional hour a day with my husband.

Keep the straight jacket handy.

Weird Habits.

2006-01-05T19:47:00.000-06:00

Oh Girl tagged me for a meme. I have to list my five wierd habits and then tag others to list theirs. And just when I ran out of things to say!

1) I wash and my hair every day and always in the morning. No matter what. Even if I'm not going anywhere, don't put on make-up, or wear anything but my PJ's. My hair will be washed. It's curly, so if I don't it ends up in a tangled mess. And, if I don't wash it every day it ends up so greasy you could oil your car with it.

2) If I am sitting around I need some sort of a throw blanket on me. I was so bad that when I worked in a lab I used to bring a sweater to throw on my lap when I was at my desk. The people in the lab used to call me "Grandma Carol" because of it.

3) If I write anything, say on a calendar or in a note, and I mess up, I either need to use liquid paper (white-out) or rewrite the entire thing completely. If it's a note I will rewrite it, if it is a calendar that I can't just throw I will use liquid paper. If I'm writing a grocery list and have to mark something out, I'll rewrite the entire list. Yes, I realize I could get committed for this.

4) I constantly twist my hair while driving. If I am on a long road trip my fingers get sore I do it so much. It's annoying.

5) I can only eat ice cream at night. It's weird, but I swear it just doesn't taste the same during the day.

And now for the obligatory tags. I must pick three good friends, because they won't beat me up for picking them, and one other person I don't know well but she seems too nice to hate me for tagging her. So, Fizzy at Fizzy's Nuthouse, Adrienne at Just my Junk, Angie at Rocks and Garbage, and Chickity China.

Oh, and just a hint for those of you who decide to do this...don't ask your spouse what he/she thinks your weird habits are or they'll start listing your not-necessarily weird but habits that annoy them.

Children

2006-01-01T21:30:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it scares her. Well, actually, it always scares her. This new emotion that she felt. This new 'love'. To love a child is a feeling you can't explain. She thought she loved her niece as much as she could her own. And she does love her as intensely as she thought love could go. But having your own is different, and she knows that now.

Kate had a pretty normal childhood until she was about 10. Her family moved half a country away then and all hell broke loose. Her dad couldn't find work. Her mom got sick. Her mom survived but became so depressed she was hardly a mom. Kate's dad, finally finding a good job, worked 12 hour days often 7 days a week for the overtime. He also had to deal with Kate's mom, what time did he have to deal with Kate?

So, her defense came in the form of self-reliance. Not a bad thing, really. She kept her nose in the books, made good grades, kept herself out of trouble, made sure she was the best at everything she could be. If only all parents experienced kids with this sort of rebellion. But Kate knew she was it. If she relied on anyone else for anything she would only be disappointed. So, she must make something of herself for survival.

She hated asking her parents for money. More like afraid to ask. Not that her parents would scold her for it, but the mere look on their faces, she knew they didn't have much to give. She got a job at 15 and saved her money hoping to buy a car, to save for just in case. You never know when you'll need it. When she needed to go to the dentist at 16 she used this money to pay for it. When she saved up enough she bought that car, and had a little in savings.

In high school she had a boyfriend. Like most high school romances, it came to an end. After school she came home and cried. Her mother came in her room and said "I don't want you to come home crying tomorrow" in a mocking voice. Kate realized she had let her feelings out. Oops. A mistake. She'll never let it happen again.

When Kate got older she went to college, married sensibly, graduated college, and got a job. She climbed the corporate ladder like everyone assumed she would. She married, but didn't rely on even her husband. For anything. No, you can only rely on yourself if you want to survive.

Kate and her husband decided to have a baby. Kate longed for one of her own, and that's what she was supposed to do, right? To please her parents and everyone else? She got pregnant and everyone was glad.

Kate struggled because she felt as though she should quit her job for the sake of the baby. After all, lets be realistic. You can't work 70 hours a week and have a baby. At least not teach it and raise it to be self-reliant. This, after all, is what it will need to survive.

This dillemma was such a struggle for her. How was she supposed to be self-reliant for herself now? Panic set in. She realized her husband was perfectly capable of being the breadwinner, but 'what if'?? You just never know. After all, her parents were supposed to fill her basic needs, to be her emotional support, and look what happened?

Kate quit her job when the baby was born. And then it happened. The love. The emotion she was feeling. That scary love that she is afraid to unleash because in the past it has only come to haunt her later. It amazes her how she let this little thing that can't even speak, can't even feed itself, take all her own self reliance. And not only that, but she actually let the little thing make her feel again. Like she hasn't felt since she was a child. And this child's love made her look at her husband in a new light, admire him, see parts of him that she wouldn't let herself see before. He was charming, handsome, strong. She let herself love him, too. Really love him for what seemed like the first time.

Kate still finds herself scared, waiting for this love to hurt her. Most of the time she can't enjoy it because of the fear. But every once in a while she catches a glimpse of relaxing, of enjoying the love, and she realizes she has grown a little.

We think we are put on earth to teach our children, but I think God had bigger plans.

She's right...But I won't admit it.

2005-12-21T18:59:00.000-06:00

My sister, aunt Cyndi, wanted to cease the exchanging of Christmas gifts this year between the adults, and just give to the two kids in the family. I wanted no part in that. After all, even though our income has been reduced this year by 3/4, I can still MAKE gifts. And to find the perfect Christmas gift for someone is an elation I wasn't willing to let go.

Perhaps if she had proposed this midway in December I may have been more willing to entertain the idea. After all, mid November we are still starry-eyed and naive to the fact that a) we'll actually FIND the perfect gift for each and every one on our list b) it is in our price range or something we can make, and c) we'll find the time to make it if it is the latter. But, she did not. She made the proposal in November.

OK, I'll finally admit I was short sighted. I realized that today at about 3 p.m. as I was wandering around Best Buy frantically looking for something - anything- that resembled that "perfect" gift for my parents. I was even willing to spend twice what I would have originally been willing to spend. I was desperate. It was probably the desperation on my face or the frantic look that made some poor guy in a blue "Best Buy" shirt came up to me. He naively uttered those words he probably was required to utter and learned in training "May I help you". I am sure he wasn't prepared for me to get down on my knees and grab his feet begging him to help me find a gift for $50 or less for a retired couple who live in a motorhome and can't gather a bunch of stuff and who buy whatever they need. I am also sure he wasn't prepared for the tear stained cheek as I looked up hoping for him to majically turn into a jolly old elf who would pull out the perfect gift from his knapsack. Oh, no. He wasn't prepared.

The poor boy did direct me here and there. And I finally felt sorry for him and pretended that he had solved my problem. I picked up a webcam and stammered around until he went in another direction, probably in the direction of store security. Then I put it back and snuck out of there before he could see my empty hands. I fully expect to see my picture on the wall at Best Buy with a sign that says "Do not help".

I wandered around town a while. I thought "A sweater? No, they try to travel where it is warm." "A goldfish? No, the water will slosh out while they go down the highway".

I was down to "underwear" and "belly button cleaner" before I realized the inevitable. It's gift certificates for a restaurant again this year. But worst of all I have to admit my sister is right.

Breastfeeding. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

2005-12-17T12:37:00.000-06:00

The best decision I've ever made was to breastfeed. Oh, I could go on and on about how I love doing it because it is good for Rachel, because I feel so connected to her as she suckles from my breast, how I know my baby is getting the natural nutrients she needs to thrive and grow. Yes, I could go on. But I'd be lying. Well, not lying exactly. All of that is true, but...

It is CHRISTMAS TIME. We all know what happens at Christmas time. The family sits around eating Christmas cookies, chocolate covered cherries, and appetizers they normally wouldn't touch the other 11 months of the year because of the calories. We go to Christmas parties with the intention of just having a bite or two and end up spending most of the night next to the buffet table sneaking a bite when no one is looking. We make Christmas cookies as gifts thinking we will give them all away this year only to "sample" a dozen just like last year. We think they'll exercise extra the next day but then they get caught up in the things to do we forget.

Yes, on average Americans gain 5 pounds at the holidays, and my family is no exception. But, while everyone is whining that they are gaining weight, I'm still losing. I'm now 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and I'm still losing about a pound or two a month. Is it because I'm determined not to gain? Is it because I have the willpower my family doesn't? Oh, no. I can eat with the best of them.

I owe the weight loss to breastfeeding. Which makes me ecstatic, but on the other hand I'm a little worried. I've come accusomted to eating crap, and a lot of it. I had birthday cake for breakfast the past few days. Oh, I'll eat my vegetables and a well balanced meal so I get the nutrients to pass on to Rachel, but I won't pass up the chocolate covered pretzels my friend gave me as a gift. No siree, bub. I've been eating out the wazoo.

So, on to my worry. I can't breastfeed forever. In fact, Rachel has decided it is fun to clamp down while feeding and wiggle her head back and forth. This is fine right now that she doesn't have teeth, but they're coming soon. She also thinks it's fun to show off her new "grab the toys" skill and grab and pinch mommy's boob while nursing. As much as my mom thinks this is hilarious it doesn't fare well for future breastfeeding.

Next time mom laughs at Rachel's antics I'll just remind her I gave her my "fat" jeans that I no longer can wear and she has grown into. Then again, maybe that's not a good idea.

Just whining. Don't mind me.

2005-12-14T22:04:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday. To me.

Today I got 2 seasons of Little House on the Prairie (YAY!) from my in-laws, a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting (my favorite) from my hubby, and a cold from Rachel, who also chose to keep one for herself.

Actually, the best gift I am getting/got was my mom. She agreed to take care of Rachel tonight while I sleep. SLEEP! I can't wait.

We took Rachel BACK to the pediatritian today, whose office knows her quite well now, to speak of her sleeping. When I told the pediatritian what we've done/are doing and a typical day at our house she gave me a referral to the Sleep Disorder Clinic at Texas Children's Hospital. Sigh.

The thing is, she goes to sleep, but she wakes up within 30 minutes. She is tired ALL THE TIME. I've read Dr. Sears, Dr. Farber, the Baby Whisperer, T. Barry Brazleton, you name it. Nothing works.

Tomorrow I try the clinic. We'll see but I'm not holding my breath.

December

2005-12-08T08:30:00.000-06:00

It sucks to have a birthday in December. It really does. Besides getting your typical combo birthday/Christmas presents, the whole day is just overshadowed by Christmas. How dare Jesus's birthday be in the same month as mine.

Not only is Jesus's brithday in the same month, but so is my mother's birthday (December 10th), and my sister's (December 6th). How dare they! Mine is December 14th. So, growing up not only did I get combo Birthday/Christmas presents but I also had a combo birthday party with my sister. And what's worse is often friends didn't come anyway because their parents were making them go to some boring Christmas party at their work or something. At least that was what they told me. I remember when I was 10 my very best friend in the whole wide world didn't show to my party because her dad got her tickets to the Nutcracker. Humph. I would have run across the room on my toes if that's what she wanted.

My mom tried. She thought it would be fun to always get the Christmas decorations out on one of our birthdays. To make it sort of a tradition. And on another birthday we would make Christmas cookies. I guess she never really cared that her birthday was overshadowed, too, by Christmas.

When your birthday is 11 days before Christmas you also always end up with lots of sweaters and winter clothes, because you get them as gifts, but your summer wardrobe is a little lacking. At least that's the excuse I use for never being in style in the summer. Now that I'm a mom, though, I get my first summertime gift giving occassion this year with Mother's day. It better be good. (I wonder if my husband is still reading my blog?)

As adults my mom, sister, and I have made it a tradition to get together in the middle of our birthdays and go shopping. The problem is the malls are so crowded with holiday shoppers we can barely squeeze down the isle. This year we're going to go ahead and make the Christmas Cookies, too, if we can muster up the strength from fighting off old ladies in the perfume isle.

Then of course is New Years. But by the time we celebrate three birthdays and Christmas, forget New Years. We're going to bed at 9 p.m.

Now, please someone tell my WHY I got married on January 2nd? That screws another gift giving day for me and by then we're REALLY celebrated out from three birthdays, Christmas and New Years. We go to bed at 7 p.m. (Ok, Ok, on your anniversary going to bed at 7 p.m. IS celebrating).

You know, though, who I REALLY feel sorry for? My dad. After we spend December celebrating three birthdays, Christmas, New Years and our Anniversary on January 2nd, he has his birthday on January 9th. He is lucky to get a card.

My Husband is Lucky He Still Can Produce Children

2005-12-06T15:35:00.000-06:00

The other night Rachel woke up at 12:45 a.m. and I couldn't get her back to sleep for anything. The poor little one takes 2 hours to get to sleep at night. She usually sleeps 6 hours before she needs to be fed, but not that night. No way, no how. In a mere 4 hours she was up and wired. So, I was in her room trying to get her to sleep. She would fall asleep, and I'd think I was home free, then she would start crying and it was all over again. I closed our bedroom door and Rachel's bedroom door in hopes that it would not wake Bryan who had to work that day. Of course I realized that this was a mere pipe dream because my child is bound to be an opera singer with those lungs, and two small wooden doors would be like putting a piece of paper next to the sun to block it out.

So, the screaming went on and on. At about 2 a.m. the house was quiet except for the whails of a 4 month old. I was in her room which is lit only by a 2 watt night light. I was standing over the crib which faces the wall with her in my arms. It was cold that night. Well, cold for Houston, about 55 degrees, so I had on my big red fuzzy bathrobe.

Bryan couldn't sleep, apparently. Rightly so, as I mentioned the opera singer thing. So, what does he decide to do? He decides to come in there with me. Which is all fine and dandy, except he thinks he needs to be quiet and not talk as to not desturb what I am trying to do with this child. So, he comes up behind me when I am stading by the crib facing the wall and taps me on the shoulder. In my big red fuzzy bathrobe I thought I felt a tap, but deep down thought I was just imagining things because the tap was so light. I turned around and there was Bryan behind me. Except at 2 a.m. in my big red fuzzy bathrobe in a 2 watt bulb lit room with a 4 month old screaming at me I didn't realize it was my loving husband.

I screamed. Actually it was more of an "ah..ah..ahhhh...ahhhh...AHHHH!" He is lucky I had a child in my arms because instinctually I think I would have kicked his man parts. I swear I've never been so scared in all my life. Not even on that roller coaster at Six Flags.

As I was screaming he said "Sorry! Sorry! I'm Sorry!!" I finally realized it was him before any permanent harm was done to anyone. He apologized for about 5 minutes and I kept saying "It's OK" in a wifey "It's not OK" sort of way. Yea, he'll hear about this later when he thinks I've forgiven him.

Sorry.

2005-12-05T18:18:00.000-06:00

I didn't mean to worry anyone. I haven't blogged in a month! That was rude and I'm sorry. I think I've been dealing a little with post-partem depression. I haven't had motivation to do much at all. I need to get out and find activities. I've never been one to sit idle and not do much. In fact, my usual is to get too much on my plate, say "yes" to everyone and everything (sorry guys, not to THAT), but since Rachel has been born I have pretty much been a hermit. I worry that I'm not doing this or that enough for Rachel, or too much of this or the other thing. I obsess about it. So much so that I obsess that I'm not enjoying her, either. It's constant worry and obsess and get depressed. And then get depressed because I want to get involved in stuff, but yet I feel like I am stuck at home because she is on a 3 hour feeding schedule. And, as much as others are willing, I am just not one to whip out a boob anywhere at any time. Also, the kid won't sleep unless she is on top of me, which is a wee bit inconvenient.

Anyway, enough whining. That's where I've been and I realize it was rude just to disappear. I promise to do better.

Writer's Block

2005-11-04T13:38:00.000-06:00

Everyone has to write about writers block at least one, right? OK, here is mine.

As you can tell the posts have been coming fewer and further in between. I guess I have been applying my grandmother's old saying "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" to my blog. Except that I can think of nice things to say. It's more like "If you can't write anything good, then don't write anything at all". To all of you that actually write something once a day, and something GOOD once a day how do you do it??

Since my mind seems to have turned to mush since I got pregnant and had a child (I'll at least blame it on that to make myself feel better) there's nothing in there except 'how many poops has she had today' and 'what time was she fed last?'

I used to read. I haven't cracked open a book since she was born three months ago. I had started Leo Tolstoy's book "Anna Karenina" before Rachel was born, and now I opened it and tried to start it again. It was like I forgot how to read. I couldn't keep up with who was who and where was where. I better stick to "Clifford the Big Red Dog Counts to Three" and "I Can Help Mommy" by the Muppet Babies. Sigh.

I just realized I have hit my first anniversary of blogging. Yes, one year ago I started this thing. I went back thinking I might get inspiration from one of my earlier posts. I realized they sucked, too. Maybe it isn't writer's block. Maybe I'm just realizing I suck.

Jack

2005-10-26T13:02:00.000-05:00

Jack was a friend.
Jack was a family friend to be exact. My dad met him at work, I think. I was too young to know really how they met him, but ever since I could remember he was around. He was the kind of man every child needs as a friend. Once Jack invited my family to a friend's farm. The friend was a potato farmer, and had cultivated his potatoes but hadn't harvested them yet. The friend told Jack to come and get as many as he wanted. As a child of about 5 years of age going potato gathering was very exciting. I had my little bucket and started gathering. I found a huge potato, the biggest potato I had ever seen! I proudly showed Jack and he made me feel like I had found a piece of gold. He told me that potato could probably feed my whole family! Yes, every child needs a friend like Jack.

Everyone knew Jack.
I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania, and Jack lived there as well. Everyone in the town knew jack. If you walked downtown, everyone would smile and say "hello" to Jack. He was a friendly guy and always willing to lend a hand when he heard one was needed. He was the town snowplower and would always go the extra mile. He would often come down our street and pile the plowed snow in the field next to our house so my sister and I could sled ride down it.

Jack was generous.
I remember as a kid how he would always come on Sunday mornings and bring doughnuts. I will forever look at an apple fritter and think of Jack. Once when we were on vacation Jack took my broken, rusty little red wagon and refinished it. As we came home and drove in the driveway there it was, all shiny and new. He even took me for a ride in it!

Jack was silly.
Jack would tease the bejeebers out of my sister and me. I had a security blanket as a child and he would call me "Linus". He told me my ears would fall off if I didn't wash behind them, and if I kept playing with toads I would get warts. And to think I believed him! He would let us climb on him and sit on his feet while he walked never tiring of our play.

Jack was smart.
Jack taught my family how to make saurkraut, an important side dish in Pennsylvania. I remember him in our basement with my parents standing over an old whiskey barrel and using an antique cutter to cut the cabbage. Apparently beer was an ingredient in saurkraut, because he would always say "a swig for the cabbage and a swig for me".

Jack was an alcoholic.
He spent hours at the local bar, then drive home drunk. He once woke up the next morning to find a huge dent in the front of his truck. He panicked, not knowing what he had hit. He drove around looking for some evidence and found a tree on the way to his house that had damage that matched his truck. Phew! Just a tree.

Jack was mean.
He was known to get into fights at the bar when he was drunk. As a child I heard my parents talk about Jack's drinking, and not knowing what being drunk was like, I remember thinking he must have turned green and got muscular, kind of like the Incredible Hulk, and smashed chairs and things. Jack had a family but lost it due to his alcoholism.

Jack was lonely.
We moved to Texas when I was 10. We went back to visit a couple of times and visited Jack. He was off of work because of a work-related injury, and drunk pretty much all the time at that point. The townspeople no longer said "hello" to Jack, they avoided him and looked at him like he was a burdeon.

Jack died alone in his bathroom.
I remember the day I heard. I mourned my childhood friend, who really died many years before his true death. I will forever remember Jack as a part of my childhood.

War

2005-10-23T20:09:00.000-05:00

War is a bad thing. I don't like war. It scares me, and I often wonder if it hurts more than it helps. Unfortunatley, I feel as though there was no other way. Some species just don't deserve to walk the face of the earth, and we have to abolish them. Yes, I am a proponent of species clensing of fire ants.

I seem to attract the things. Perhaps in a former life I was a hot fire ant model who was very popular and all the other fire ants wanted to be like me. Yea, that's it. They're jealous.

Either way, I bought this property and I don't see them paying rent or sharing the house payment so I want them gone. I am ashamed to say, I have become the Little Fire Ant Hitler. I have declaired war even though I don't have the support of the French neighbors across the street. And even though the UN (united neighbors) voted against it I declaired war anyway. They weren't the ones terrorized on their legs by the bites.

As self declaired Commander in Chief of this war, and, since I am also the only person on this side, I had no other choice but to enforce a draft. I drafted my husband. He was promoted from Private to General in about 5 minutes since he was the only other person on this side.

As most Commander in Chiefs do, I made him do all the work. I armed him with the equivalent to the Tomahawk Missle in the Fire Ant War, Orthene Fire Ant Bait. It is a smart bait because it knows how to kill the queen. He put on his uniform (gardening gloves) and headed out to the battlefield (yard). We had our "shock and awe" mission yesterday. So far so good, but we're waiting for the counter attack.

Question: Is there anything in your life you'd like to declare war against?

The Surgery

2005-10-18T19:40:00.000-05:00

Rachel so cute
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

Things went well, as I said before. And thanks for your well wishes!

We woke up promptly at 4:30 a.m. because we had to be downtown at Texas Children's Hospital at 7:30 a.m. We checked in and went to the waiting area. Rachel slept, thank God. We were herded into one room where they weighed her (13 pounds 8 oz!) and took her blood pressure with a tiny little cuff. Then we were herded into another room where they took some blood from her. She was good the entire time. Then we were put into a waiting room where the people waiting for surgery are kept. The doctor comes into this room to talk to the parents before surgery. At this point I did an unscientific survey and realized 5 out of every 6 surgeries on children under 10 are due to foreign objects injected into various body orifices. The boy beside us put something up his nose (I tried to evesdrop to figure out what it was, but I missed it). The girl to the right of us swallowed a coin. There was a x-ray carried across the room that was clearly a chest with something stuck in the esophogus.

Luckily she was sleeping when I had to hand her over for surgery. If she was crying I don't think I could have handled it.

They brought us into recovery about an hour later. There she was, screaming her little head off, which I was unusually happy to hear. They told us we would be in recovery about an hour until they got our room ready. What they DIDN'T tell us is they meant an hour in football minutes, because we sat there for five hours.

We finally got to her room. Texas Children's hospital rocks. They have a day bed for parents in the room, cable TV, a room for each age group of children from 3-18 with age-appropriate toys, videos, etc. A clown that visits, videos to bring to the room, a family center with a refrigerator, free coffee and muffins in the morning.

The surgeons, well, they're good surgeons. Their bedside manner was, well, something else.

We were given a paste to put on her butt to numb it so the stitches didn't hurt so bad. However, she had an allergic reaction to it. So, the nurse gave us some skin drying paste and some vaseline. He said put the paste on first to dry the skin then the vaseline. It didn't have the numbing agent, but keeping the sutures on her anal opening dry would help.

Guess what? Paste + vaseline = glue. Yes, we glued my childs butt cheeks together. I had to soak her in the bathtub to loosen the "glue" to get them apart. Who said child rearing wasn't a science experiment? Come to think of it, maybe I should market the stuff to pay for her medical bills.

We came home Sat evening. With the exception of a little fussiness, as to be expected, she is doing great!

Question: Have you ever made an interesting discovery?

Things are fine!

2005-10-17T10:52:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to let you know the surgery went fine! Rachel is sore but otherwise doing good. I'll post details a little later when I have a second. Thanks to everyone for their kind words. :)

The dreaded day is here

2005-10-13T17:40:00.000-05:00

Actually I'm glad it's here I just want to get it over with. Rachel's surgery day is tomorrow (Friday). So, the next two day's we'll be at the hospital, so I won't be around much!

Commercial Jingles

2005-10-08T15:12:00.000-05:00

As usual I was awakened last night at 2 a.m. by a fussing baby. I got her up, changed her, and started to nurse her. As I sat sleepily in the dimly lit room looking down at my precious little baby as she nursed all I could think was "Cambells, Chicken Noodle...possiblilities".

Yes, at this precious moment, a stupid commerical jingle was running through my head. It happens a lot. In fact, there's one that hasn't aired in years that seems to surface quite often in my head for some silly reason..."Doxidan, Doxidan, when nature needs a helping hand, get overnight relief with Doxidan". I would say if their goal is product identification they had a successful advertising campaign, although maybe not so much as I've never purchased the stuff.

I can still repeat the McDonalds jingle from the 80's "Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun.". Or how about "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup!". Or more recently "I want my baby back, Chilies baby back ribs".

Nothing is worse than having a advertising jingle in your head. It is one thing for a company to have music during the commercial. Car commercials usually have great music. HP has some really good music with their commericals these days. The commercials where the person holds a frame in front of their face and the frame suddenly becomes a picture of them at that moment. I often find myself singing their songs (although I don't know the titles) hours after. I don't mind singing songs, but having an ad jingle in my head is downright irritating. Jingles are usually one line, so you are saying one line over and over again until you either buy a product or go insane. I don't think the companies care which one comes first.

Is there a particular jingle that you can't get out of your head?

Delurk Day

2005-10-05T18:42:00.000-05:00

**When I came to my blog this morning and read what I wrote I think I sounded mad! LOL. This, like most of my posts, was jokingly written. Geez, I'm so rude.**

I have decided to have a delurk day. Many of my blogging friends did this long ago. I thought then that they were silly. I mean, if someone was to come to this page they would post, right? If nothing else but to tell me how stupid I am? However, in the last few weeks I have learned a few tidbits about my friends and family.

First, people I THOUGHT were reading my blog and not bothering to comment were actually NOT reading my blog. My sister is a good example. Do you know what that means? That means I get to start talking about her. I can talk about all the stories when we were little and how mean she was. Like the time....oh, I'll save it for another post.

Then, I found out that people who I thought never or rarely read my blog actually read it on a daily or somewhat daily basis. My husband is this example. That means I have to be nice to him on here. Not that I'm generally not nice to him, because I generally don't have reason to be mean to him, but if I did have reason then I know he would read it. Actually, that could come in handy. How RUDE of him just to read and not comment. And I MARRIED him.

Anyway, it's officially delurk day. If you are reading this, post something. If you don't you will officially hurt my feelings. Yes, I'm that pathetic.

Texas Traditions

2005-10-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

** Something else I never thought about....a mum IS a mother, but it is also a flower, a chrysantheMUM. Sorry for the confusion! **

Fall is in the air (OK, not really. It's freakin' 95 here still. But for the sake of the story I'll pretend), the leaves are changing (I'm lying here, too), and the football season makes it way into the hearts of every Texan (This, however, is true).

There is a Texas Tradition that I didn't realize was a Texas thing. At least that's what my non-Texan friends tell me. The tradition is the homecoming mum during the High School homecoming football game. Please tell me we're not the only ones that have homecoming football games.

Anyway, this homecoming mum tradition. Basically, a guy asks a girl to the game (or vice-versa), and he buys her a mum. And you can tell how much a boy likes you by the size of the mum, and how gaudy you look in it. Here is an example (I couldn't find a picture of a mum that I could post, and, golly-gee darn I don't have a scanner to scan a picture of me in High School at homecoming, so that link will have to do. Speaking of which, where does everyone get their cool pictures for their blogs that aren't their own, anyway?).

The mum is about the size of a dinner plate. Sometimes, if the boy REALLY likes you, they will get TWO mums and put one in front and one in the back, going over the shoulder. Usually, however it is a single mum pinned on her chest, and has streamers that literally go to her knees or below. The streamers have kick-knacks on it that represent what the girl is into, such as a clarinet in my case because I played the clarinet, a little plastic volleyball, a whistle, a little teddy bear, or other trikets. Bells were essential, because otherwise how would your girlfriends know you were coming with a gaudy mum unless you had the noisemakers to go with them? The ribbons usually have stickers on them to say "Homecoming 2005" and another that says "Carol -n- Bryan" or something of that nature. Like I said, the gaudier the more the boy liked you, because the gaudier the more expensive.

Then, after the game, the high school girl would hang it in her room until she realized the tradition was both silly and gaudy, usually about the time she goes to college or she and the boy broke up, and then she would throw it out.

I never thought much about the tradition until I became an adult, pulled my very faded mum out of the remembrance box (AKA, the moth ridden, silverfish eaten cardboard box about to collape with a zillion pieces of tape on it up in the attic) and looked at it. And threw it away. I guess I'm a late bloomer.

What traditions do you have that you realized were silly once you thought about it?

OK, this is offically now a mommy blog.

2005-10-01T11:13:00.000-05:00

Rachel in purple
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

I tried not to go there, but it seems like this blog has turned into a Mommy Blog. Sorry.

I've been putting off blogging hoping for something to blog about that's a little more light hearted or fun. I mean, after a hard pregnancy, a baby in NICU for 11 days, acid reflux, and hurricanes I figured this blog needed it. But, alas, I have nothing. Instead, I will talk about the fact that Rachel needs surgery, because that's about all on my mind these days.

We went to the doctor because of crying that didn't seem to cease. Her tummy was bloated like a balloon, and very firm. It took the doctor little time to find the problem.

Poor little bugger has Anal Stenosis. If you google it, like I did, you will find out it is an unusual tightness in the anal sphincter. That means she can't pass gas or poop easily. Yes, my daughter is literally anal retentive. I knew she took after her daddy.

Treatment is usually the instertion of dialators "and in rare cases surgery". Of course, keeping with our theme of the year of bad luck, we are in the "rare case" category. She was so tight they couldn't even do a normal exam on her.

What's frustrating is she was diagnosed with this almost three weeks ago. They told me they would call to schedule the surgery in 5-7 days, maybe sooner because the doctor knew she was in pain every time she had gas or had to poop, so he requested the surgery be scheduled "ASAP".

Then, the hurricane came and everything in the Houston area came to a screeching halt. AND, to make matters worse, people from New Orleans have been transported to Houston hospitals, which have made the beds limited (not that they don't deserve good care, too, but you know what I mean). So, not only are people who HAD surgeries scheduled rescheduled, but the ones that didn't have them scheduled yet (us) were put off for a freakin TWO WEEKS.

So, here is Rachel, in pain most days until she has her poop. And working for hours pushing to poop. I'm talking sometimes 10 hours of grunting. And there's nothing I can do but call the freakin' pediatric surgeons office every day to beg them to schedule it. Finally yesterday they did. So, we get to have surgery on her butt in two weeks, on October 14th.

Hi from Rachel

2005-09-29T16:24:00.000-05:00

Hi from Rachel
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

My mommy has been busy taking care of and playing with me, so I thought I'd let you know she'll post something soon when she can.

Update!

2005-09-26T19:03:00.000-05:00

For some reason I couldn't get on here from my in-laws, so I came to my sisters and thought I'd post this. Thanks for all of your comments and well wishes!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know we made it out, and our house had no damage. The power was out for about 23 hours, but that's all. It was good for us that we were on the west side, not that I wish it on anyone else. Thank God Rita was no Katrina.

It took us a freakin' 12 hours to go 165 miles, though. That's an average of 14 mph! It was CRAZY. Rachel did well the first 10. The last 2 hours she screamed her head off. :) I would, too, if I was stuck in that seat for so long.

It seemed everyone was leaving Houston. We would go only about 6 miles in 3 hours at some spots. And of course a lot of the time there are no bathrooms for several miles, so people were having to go to the bathroom on the side of the road trying to shield themselves with their car door. They were also running out of gas and there was NO GAS ANYWHERE. All the stations were out, and a lot of gas stations were running out of food. Grocery stores were running out, too. It was crazy.

I'm still glad we left, because we're having record heat here. 108 degrees today! Hottest day in 5 years. So, if I was in a house with no air conditioning it would have been very uncomfortable. And Rachel I'm sure would have been uncomfortable.

Anyway, I'm waiting until Wednesday to go back. Hopefully I'll make it back in the normal 2.5 hours instead of 12 again.

Oh, the fun.

2005-09-21T16:31:00.000-05:00

Being in Houston, and being Hurricane Rita is headed this way, we're bugging out. Oh the fun!

We're on the North side of Houston, so it isn't like we're on the coast, but we are at risk of losing electricity, extremely high winds, and possibly no water. And of course lots of rain. Being I have a newborn I didn't want to get stuck for who knows how long and not have necessities. So, we're headed to the in-laws in Waco, which is about 200 miles or so.

I'll check in when we come back!

Dogs and Babies

2005-09-14T15:38:00.000-05:00

My little mutt Casey was my only "baby" before Rachel was born, so it is safe to say we were a little concerned how this spoiled 15 pound mutt would react to a new "sister". At first she wouldn't come within 10 feet of her. Then after a few weeks she would come and sniff her briefly but would quickly leave. Then she would come up, sniff, and stay a while.

I was sitting on the sofa the other day, Rachel's head in my lap and her butt on the sofa. Casey, my little mutt, usually sits to the right of me on the sofa, where Rachels legs were. Casey jumped on the sofa, sniffs Rachel's legs and starts to take her nose and flick her blanket on her legs. She must have spent a full 5 minutes trying to cover her, and actually successfully did. It was rather interesting to watch. Since I took Animal Behavior in college and never really used it, I figured I'd humor myself by saying I'm using it here and she's now becoming "motherly".

So I figure (I'm into multiple choice these days):
A) My animal behavior class was worth the money and I accurately protrayed Casey as mothering Rachel because in the wild the Alpha dog has all the puppies and the other members of the pack help her raise them.
B) Her diaper was dirty and Casey didn't want to smell it anymore so she was trying to bury it.
C) She is actually in a jealous rage and was trying to smother her.

I prefer to think "A".

What would you do...

2005-09-13T17:35:00.000-05:00

If you accidentally used your husband's brand new $15 toothbrush because you were so sleep deprived and your contacts were dry so you didn't see the "blue for boy" color on the toothbrush and mistook it as the "white for girl" one which is yours? Would you:

A) Tell him so he can decide if he wants a new one
B) Not tell him figuring you've shared a lot worse that THAT and he won't miss anything if he is none the wiser
c) Write it on your blog in the off chance that he might actually read it, which he rarely does, but by then it will have been too late because he will have brushed his teeth with it. So that will probably make him keep it.

Oh, decisions, decisions.

The Learning Curve

2005-09-08T12:12:00.000-05:00

My husband is a smart man. He graduated Magna Cum Laude with a Masters degree. Generally if he plays a trivia game with someone he wins. If I want to know who wrote some obscure 70's music or who the leader of Luxemburg is I generally don't bother to go to the internet. I ask my hubby.

Now that I've qualified what I'm about to say (hi, honey!), I'll tell you about my husband and his beginner daddyness. He has never, ever been around a baby before ours. I've already mentioned the backward diaper. I actually managed not to laugh hysterically when I realized it was on backward. Oh, it's not that I didn't want to, but I could tell he felt a little stupid. I couldn't rub it in. Honestly, I can tell he feels really bad that he isn't more experienced at this. He admits the learning curve is great here.

The other day on a Saturday he was up just a bit before me. Rachel sleeps in her cradle beside our bed. He walked into the bedroom as we both were just waking. Her diaper needed to be changed because she just woke up, so I asked him to do it. After all, he needs the experience. He gladly said he would. He took her into her room, which is across the hall from ours. I laid in bed trying to wake up.

I heard: Rustle, Rustle, Rustle....Then I hear Bryan say: "Oh, crap!"....then more Rustling....

I think..."should I go in to see what's going on?" Then I think "No, he needs to learn. One of these days I'll be leaving her alone with him. He'll figure it out".

Then I hear "Oh, geez!"...rustle....drawers being pulled out.....rustle....

I start to put one foot on the floor then stop myself. "No, he is a capable man. He can figure it out" I think.

After what seems like eternity he comes into the bedroom smiling, with Rachel in a new outfit, and says to Rachel "Here's mommy Rachel!" and tells me she is ready to eat.

I take her and realize her head is wet. Her HEAD is wet? What the.....

I ask "Uh, dear? Why is her head wet?"

He Says "Well, she started to pee when I took her diaper off and I tried to keep her out of it, but it wasn't easy to move her as she was peeing, so she got a little on her. That's why I changed her outfit."

Uh, OK. I opened my mouth to ask how the pee managed to get on her HEAD, but thought better of it. I decided I didn't want to know. I got up and drew her bath water.

Prevacid sticks to boobs

2005-09-06T17:03:00.000-05:00

The pediatritian knows I'm a new mom. She didn't have to ask if Rachel had a sibling at home. Maybe it was the question "Are all babies legs crooked like hers?", or perhaps "Is it normal for her to have that many folds on her neck?". Or perhaps the urgent statement "Please look at this rash on the back of her head, is she sick?" only to be told it's a birthmark. Or it could be the mere volume of questions I was asking. Or perhaps the fact that I called the nurse more than my fair share of times asking questions.

They probably think I'm bad, but they should see her father. When he changed her diaper the first time he put it on BACKWARDS. (I'm not kidding). I'm happy to say he is getting the hang of it now, though.

Rachel had acid reflux really bad. The pediatritian gave her Zantac in liquid form, which didn't work at all. Finally, after about 10 days I called the nurse (who knows my voice now, btw) because I couldn't stand to see her in pain anymore. They changed her medicine to Prevacid, which is working wonders. (Thank GOD!)

The only problem...Prevacid is not in liquid form, only capsule. So, I was faced with the task of getting a capsule down a 5 week old baby. This is not an easy task. And to make matters worse those pills are EXPENSIVE. So, if I lost some it would cost me.

She is supposed to get half a capsule, so I opened it and spilled the tiny beads from inside the capsule on aluminum foil. I thought I would put it on the foil and separate it into two separate but equal piles with a knife. You can tell I'm not a drug dealer/user simply by the fact I wasn't smart enough to realize that when aluminum foil has little beady things on it and you scrape a knife on it, it krinkles and the beads go shooting across the room. Ok, lost a few beads there.

Plan two. I've seen enough TV to know how the drug users do it. I needed a razorblade and something that doesn't krinkle and shoot things across the room. I opted for the cupboard instead of the foil, and I didn't have a razor so I went for a sharp knife. Getting the beads on the counter was fun. Beads roll. I think I probably should have learned that in Kindergarten. I must have been absent that day. I lost a few beads here, too.

Then once I lassoed them back in a pile and separated them into two piles I had to get them into a container. I didn't think about that before the counter idea. I held a little plastic cup at the end of the counter and brushed them in. One cup for each pile. I lost a few on the floor.

OK, now how do I get them into the baby's mouth? A syringe with milk sounds logical. Except the beads didn't want to suck into the syringe very well. I managed to get them sucked in and milk, too. I went to squirt it in her mouth. The beads stuck to the bottom of the plunger. The milk went nicely into the baby's mouth. Sigh. I lost all of the beads.

OK, so that didn't work. On to another dose. How about I stick a few of the beads to my breast and shove it in her mouth for breastfeeding. Ingenious you say? Well, I thought so. Until I realized that Prevacid beads stick to boobs better than they stick to tounges. When she unlatched they were still there, firmly attached to my breast.

I scraped them off my breast and put them back into the container, which wasn't an easy task because, as we learned, wet Prevacid beads stick to everything. Babies chins, fingers, clothing, the chair.

Finally, a revelation. If it sticks to everything, it must stick to fingers! I pressed my finger in the pile of beads and, wallah! They stuck. I waited for her to open her mouth (She'll probably get smart and never yawn again), stuck my finger in there, wiped it on her tounge, and they stayed! Then, I put my breast in for her to drink. Obviously I'm not a fast learner. THey stuck to my breast. I scraped them off again.

We repeated the process, this time with a BOTTLE of breastmilk, and, luckily, Prevacid beads do not stick to plastic nipples, only real ones. She would drool a bit and I had to scrape them off her cheek, folds of her neck, her shirt, and put them back in, but I think I got most of them.

Lucky us, we get to do this every night.

My New Boss

2005-09-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

Rachel Smiling
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

My new boss is only 10 pounds, yet she is full of demands. I came into this job with no training, not even a manual. She didn't bother to train me, yet she expects me to know everything. She has very demanding deadlines, and if I do not meet the deadline she screams at me. Loudly. And she doesn't care who she is around when she does it. I can only take bathroom breaks when it is convenient for HER schedule. Often there are days where I can't even take care of the simplest in personal hygene for myself because of her demands. She insists I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and won't allow me any time for anything else. Often there are days I'm working so hard I don't even stop to eat! And to think I signed a lifetime contract for this job!

Why do I do it? I'm addicted to the bonuses!

P.S. Thanks for all the votes on which was the better picture. I liked the smiley one above, but Bryan liked the one with her eyes open. Your votes allowed me to have the one I wanted on the announcements! :)

Sadness

2005-09-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

I don't have much to add about Hurricane Katrina that hasn't already been said, but I feel I must comment. The devastation and the sadness is something that I think this country has not experienced in a very long time. Going days without eating, proper sewage, water, shelter is not something people generally have to worry about here. Yet, we are faced with it by the thousands now. If only we were somewhat prepared for this. We had no clue it would even be remotely this bad. They didn't the levys would break. Yea, "they" were wrong. Now we're faced with saving and moving hundreds of thousands of people.

Living in Houston we are seeing a lot of the evacuees. Among many other things, our church is providing shelter and food for some, and we are volunteering shifts to serve food to those in the Astrodome as well. Because of this we get to hear stories up close and personal. Each person has a story, and there are thousands of stories, and each story is gut wrenching.

I went for my followup doctors visit a couple of days ago and a woman was there who was about to give birth. She had just evacuated and was sure she didn't have a home to go to. I guess that particular story hit home with me, having a newborn myself. I can't imagine giving birth and dealing with those stresses, and also not knowing how you are going to provide a home for the little one.

I am sickened by the looters who are taking big screen TV's (saw one right on TV like he didn't care who saw him), GUNS, computers, and other non-essentials. People are STARVING and these idiots are trying to make out on this disaster. Disgusting.

Also, perhaps we should spend less time ranting about how things aren't being done fast enough, good enough, and more time actually doing things. If each person who has ranted spent that time instead putting together a health kit or flood bucket it would go a lot farther. We need positive energy here.

Please do what you can for these people. And please pray. I know you already are.

Congrats in order

2005-08-30T09:25:00.000-05:00

Rainypete just had a little one of his own! Go on over and congratulate him. He is now a member of the no-sleep club.

Opinions Please!

2005-08-29T20:59:00.000-05:00

Trying to get a picture for her announcements. Bryan and I can't seem to agree. So, which picture do you think is best??

LA Story

2005-08-27T09:40:00.000-05:00

The movie "LA Story" with Steve Martin has an excellent scene that I relate to very well.. The scene has Steve Martin speaking to God. He says something like (I haven't seen this movie since the 80's, so forgive my loose quotation) "God, if you want me to do this then give me a sign". Lights start flickering, lighting strikes, the ground moves, and Steve Martin continues "Any sign, God. I'll take any sign".

Sometimes I think this is the story of my life.

Grounds for Divorce

2005-08-22T17:52:00.000-05:00

I love people with a sense of humor. I think, though, if my husband did this to me I would contemplate divorce.

My sister's boss is hilarious. He is married and has a three year old son. He told his three year old to go up to mommy and tell her "I see dead people". And the son did. And his wife screamed.

Pondering Life

2005-08-18T18:49:00.000-05:00

Angela Marie had a post that is really thought provoking. An aquaintance of hers from high school has breast cancer and may or may not make it. And to make matters worse she feels like her life wasn't worth much.

This is incredibly sad to me. I can't imagine feeling this way. It makes me think and ponder my own life, too, and appreciate the blessings I've been given. If I died today would I think I had a good life? You betcha. I had a great career, I've traveled what I consider a lot, more importantly I've taken opportunities to help others, and most importantly I have a husband and a daughter for which I would give up anything. I've had a few rough patches in my life. Without getting into details, my pre-teen and teenage years weren't the greatest. There were some ugly things I've had to deal with. And, I always had to work hard for everything I've gotten. But I think those things just make you stronger - if you let them.

I completely believe life is what you make it. Yes, life can hand you lemons. But, it is your responsiblility to make lemonade. I know some people get more lemons than others. But I also believe God only gives you what he thinks you can handle. Your true character shows in how you handle it.

I will admit this...I've been mad at God before. I've blamed Him for things. When I was a teenager I thought God just didn't care about me. That I was just "here". No one cared about me but ME. When we went through 5 years of infertility issues I wanted God to tell me why he was "punishing" me. But you know what? I now know he wasn't punishing me at all. It was all in His time. And I also know he was there helping me through the teenage years. I just didn't know it THEN.

I hope Angie's aquaintance finds healing before it is too late.

Technology...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

2005-08-18T10:41:00.000-05:00

I must admit I love technology. Well, some of it. When it works, it's great. I'm usually behind the times when it comes to electronics. I put off getting a cell phone until my work made me do it. Then once I had one I was addicted. Except I refuse to chat while I'm at the grocery store or in the doctor's waiting room, but I did use it often back in the days when I actually got out of the house.

Anyway, technology is great when you have a baby, too. We got a video camera a year ago and the other night hubby figured out how to transfer the videos onto the internet and burn them to a DVD. Big deal, you say? For the technologically challenged we thought we were geniouses. Of course, we won't tell anyone that it took 4 hours to figure out how to do it.

Technology is bad, though, in some hands. When we had Rachel we had her in a hospital at the Medical Center in Houston. The Medical Center is in downtown Houston and is not in the best part of town. In fact, my uncle was visiting someone at MD Anderson Cancer Center and got held up at gunpoint as he was getting his suitcase out of the trunk of his car. My parents are rather naive folk. They get nervous when they drive in town. Not necessarily the bad part of town, they just don't drive in the city much. They're more of a suburb or small town type.

So, you're asking what this has to do with technology being bad? Well, as I was saying, when Rachel was born the hospital was in downtown Houston. My folks came to the hospital so they could be there when she was born. It was a long day for everyone and they left the hospital at about 10 p.m. Not knowing downtown that well, and getting a bit turned around, they made a wrong turn and actually ened up on a street they weren't supposed to be on. And, to top it off the street was under construction, so they ened up in a traffic jam. AND, to top THAT off, the were behind an SUV. The SUV had one of those DVD player thingies. Have you ever been behind one of those in traffic? You can watch whatever they are watching. Usually it is a disney flick or something of the "G" rating. However, my naive parents weren't that lucky. They got behind an SUV that had a DVD of porn.

So, here they are, stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of downtown Houston, at 10 p.m. and they are behind an SUV that is playing porn. And it is right in front of them and they can't move either way. Dad said he had an "educational experience" and had a hard time keeping his eyes on the road.

They laughed about it forever, but I keep thinking how awkward that would be if you weren't with the right person. My luck I'd get stuck behind a vehicle playing porn when I had my boss in the car with me or something.

I Couldn't Resist

2005-08-16T17:04:00.000-05:00

rachel laying
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

Just for the awe factor here is another picture...I couldn't help it.

Things I've learned in the 9 day's I've been responsible for this tiny little precious thing:

1. An 8 pound human being makes 7 times more laundry than the average human being

2. A smile never gets old

3. Two AM looks very differently when you are awakened from sleeping instead of just going to bed. So is Three AM and Four AM.

4. An 8 pound human being can poop their own body weight in a day (or so it seems).

5. The lung capacity of an 8 pound human being while crying is equivalent to a wild elephant.

Oh, lets see...what will the next week bring??

Rachel and her doggie

2005-08-13T12:39:00.000-05:00

Ahh, the birth story. Men, children and squeemish women, you can just ooh and ahh at the picture and go now. It's not for the weak stomached individual.

Seriously, my labor went well. That's about all in the pregnancy that went well, it seemed. And DURING the labor I would have told you otherwise.

At my 35 week ultrasound that they did because of the gestational diabetes, they determined that my amniotic fluid was a little borderline low. That was weird because a side effect of the diabetes is HIGH amniotic fluid, but they told me to take it easy and drink plenty of fluids and they would monitor it. No problem. So, the following week, at 36 weeks, I went in for my regular checkup. She did another ultrasound to monitor the fluid levels, and lo and behold it was dangerously low at that point. The doctor was perplexed because of the aforementioned diabetes reason, but she said the baby needs to come out immediately, that it was no longer a safe environment for her. She told me she would do an "emergency" induction the next day.

I learned that "emergency" meant if not so many people went into spontaneous labor that they could fit me in they would induce me the next day. If not, then the following day. If not then definitely the following. So, I had to call that night to see if they had room for me. 5pm, no they don't have room. 7 pm no room at the inn. 9 pm, not even a manger. 10:30 pm, c'mon in! So, we zoomed down to the hospital, which was about 45 minutes away.

They put the medicine in my cervix to make me dialate, as I hadn't budged yet. Oh, what is that stuff called? Anyway, Bryan slept on the sofa and I slept on the very uncomfortable labor bed. I say "slept". Who the hell can sleep when they know they will be giving birth in a few hours? I should have taken the sleeping pill they offered, but I hate medicine. So, I was on about two hours sleep the next day.

I had only dialated 1 cm when they gave me the IV for the induction at 7 am. The morning went well. I thought "Hey! This is a piece of cake!" No medication. I was fine. Cramping, but, hey, I could handle it! What are these wimpy women whining about?

THEN AT 12:30PM THEY BROKE MY WATER.

Owch. That's all I have to say. I had only dialated 2 cm at that point, so I couldn't get the epidural. I had mentioned I would "see how it went" in the pain department on arrival at the hospital when asked if I would like an epidural. However, after the contractions were ripping my intestines out (or so I thought) I decided needles weren't so bad. But then the hosptial staff taunted me by saying I couldn't have one because the doctor wouldn't let me have it until I was 3 cm.

What's worse is the doctor wouldn't let the nurse check my cervix until 3 pm. She said she didn't want to risk infection. At 3 pm I was only a freakin' (not the word I was thinking in my head at the time) 2.5 cm dialated. I was begging for drugs. They said no. My husband and the nurse started chatting about what was on TV and politics and religion and many other things I didn't care about at that time. In my own little pain induced world I was strangling them. But all I could muster out was a "I'm fine. Are you SURE you can't just take a peek at my cervix?" when asked.

When the nurse told the doctor I had only dialated 2.5 cm at 3pm, she told her she couldn't check me again until 6 freakin' PM. At 4:30 I begged. I mean BEGGED the nurse to check. She said she would. If I was dialated more we would let the doctor know. If I wasn't, it would be our little secret. That was a deal I would have sold my own mother for.

At 4:30 was dialated to 5 cm. She called the doctor. The doctor said we could do the epidural. YAY! Relief on the way! What seemed like eternity and several short and incomprehensable to anyone but me comments to my husband later, which turned out to be about 30 minutes, the epidural came. By 5:15 I had it. But it did nothing. I still felt pain. I asked the nurse if I was supposed to feel pain still. She said no. I said I did. She called the anesthesiologist back. He came at 5:45 PM and increased the medicine. Ahhhh. All was better. I got my wits about me again. I felt like I could think, like I could actually enjoy the moment.

Just after the increased dosage at 5:45 the nurse checked my cervix. 9 cm! At 6 pm she had me push. All I saw was a huge flood of blood squirt right for the nurse. She said "Hold on! Don't Push!" She called for the doctor, who was there by 6:15 PM. Rachel was out just a few pushes later at 6:31 PM.

I think I should get credit for having her naturally since I only got 45 minutes of pain releif. LOL. But I'm thankful that I only pushed for 30 minutes. The doctor told me I better not tell my girlfriends that I only pushed that long or they'll hate me. I'll risk it.

I got to hold Rachel for about 30 mintues when she was first born. Then, she turned blue, and the rest you've been reading the last couple of weeks.

Now that I'm home I can't believe she is mine. I know I went through the labor, but God actually entrusted me with this fragile thing? He has to be crazy! :)

Breastfeeding (men, turn away if you don't want to recognize the functionality of breasts. It does kind of ruin it.) is a challenge because she was spoiled with a lazy bottle at the NICU. I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of sweat and tears before we get that down, but I'm determined. She latches, but her jaw gets tired. We're working on it. Meanwhile I'm pumping, and bottle supplementing, too.

Anyway, that's the whole ugly story in a nutshell. Ugly story, but isn't she THE MOST beautiful thing you've ever seen??? :)

2005-08-07T20:48:00.000-05:00

Just got home with Rachel a couple of hours ago!! Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers. It truly was comforting and meant a lot. She improved every day and she has been stable on her oxygen without help for the last several days, and she has been eating well, so she was released! We are so happy!!

Now, it is time to figure this baby thing out. I thought this kid would come with an owner's manual! :)

Just wanted to quickly post to let everyone know. As soon as things settle down I'll visit your blogs, post pictures, the birth story, and then (since you are probably tired of hearing all this baby stuff!) on to your regularly scheduled blog.

Thanks again!!!!

2005-08-01T20:43:00.000-05:00

Thanks everyone for your comments, thoughts, and prayers. I have read every one and the support means so much to me. I want to get to each of your blogs to say so individually, and will eventually. Right now, though, just popping in to let you know she is doing much better! Slowly improving and things are looking positive. They gave her four doses of surfactants and she seems now to be breathing on her own with the ventilator's help (they slowly turn it down). They are even talking about taking the ventilator out either tomorrow or the next day, which is great news! Her mommy and daddy are anxious, but we know it is best she stay in the ICU as long as she needs to.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

Update on Rachel

2005-07-29T17:52:00.000-05:00

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. It means so much to me I can't even express.

Just home enough to sleep a little and wash clothes. Rachel was put into the intensive care Neonatal ICU because of her breathing. It turns out to be undeveloped lungs...her surfactants are not developed enough to keep her lungs open. They had to increase her oxygen to 80% at one point but she is back down to 50% now. They had to intebate and sedate her because her little body was so tired from working so hard to breathe.

We are holding up. It was so hard to leave the hospital today without her. I need sleep badly though, so we came home for a little bit. They will probably have her until at least early to mid next week, we are hoping only until then. They said the next 48 hours are the most critical time, and that usually they turn around after 72 hours.

She is in the BEST of care. We are blessed with these doctors (she has a team of three neonatal doctors). They are constantly assuring us that she'll make it OK and are great about asking how we are doing/handling it.

When she is home in my arms I'll tell all about the birth!

Prayers please

2005-07-26T12:29:00.000-05:00

I was just told I'm going to be undergoing an emergency induction, which may turn out to be a c-section, tomorrow. The amniotic fluid was at 6.5, which doesn't tell me much except that it is too low, but numbers might tell one or two of you something.

Anyway, I'm getting admitted to the hospital tonight. They need to soften my cervix because I haven't even started dialating yet.

Nor have I packed bags, or gotten the car seat, or washed her clothes. Thank God my mother-in-law and mother will be here. Although they don't like eachother, but I'll let them duke it out over who gets to do what. Hopefully they'll play nice this once.

Anyway, I'm a little worried about the baby. She is FINE as of now, but I've been told it's touch and go until they get her out of me, and the mere act of inducing when she's not ready could cause complications. The doc said be prepared just in case a c-secion is necessary.

So, pray for Rachel if you do that sort of thing. Or think good thoughts or send good energy. I'll take it all.

Thanks.

The Ultrasound Take Two

2005-07-21T09:13:00.000-05:00

We went for our doctor's appointment and ultrasound yesterday. The doctor wanted to make sure the gestational diabetes that I have isn't interfering with the size of the baby. Apparently, if you have gestational diabetes then the baby has a high risk of getting a larger chest and waist. This causes dystocia where the baby gets stuck in the birth canal and can cause nerve damage as well as some other ugly things.

The good news is her chest and waist were fine. And also great news they said her organs appeared healthy! However she was rather large at this point...6 lbs. 12 oz. and in the 88th percentile (although the ultrasound can be as much as 10% off). This doesn't surprise me considering her mom is 5'11" and her dad is 6'6". She doesn't stand a chance at having any sort of normal size. Poor kid. She's going to hate us when she turns about 12 for sure.

It's amazing to see the ultrasound and peek at her. I could see her suckling with her lips, her eyes open and close, her little fingers (all five were there on the hand I could see!), and she already has HAIR! It wasn't as clear as the 20 week ultrasound. Mostly because she is so big now that you can only see a fraction of her at once instead of an entire profile.

The bad news is my amniotic fluid was borderline low. Which means the doctor wants me to rest more. She said cut out any unnecessary activities. Crap. It just kills me to sit around. I am rather type-A and want everything perfect around the house before the baby comes. I should have taken the advice from Cesca and Amiz a month ago and made the frozen meals ahead then. Well, I can look on the bright side...more time for visiting blogs!

On a sadder note...go visit Elle's blog and say a prayer for them. Her son, Jay, is very sick and needs good thoughts and prayers.

Visiting

2005-07-19T10:25:00.000-05:00

My husband, as I've mentioned before, is a minister. He deals with a lot and generally I don't hear about most of it. Sometimes he'll talk about things, but generally it's part of his day. As you can suspect, he goes to hosptials and visits home-bound persons quite often. He'll tell me he is going to the hospital or "visiting" and I'll just say "OK". I don't go with him on these visits, generally. I mean, the last thing I would want if I was in the hospital is a bunch of people I don't know visiting. It's one thing for the minister to visit. It is quite another for his wife to tag along.

Sometimes, however, if someone is home-bound for a long time and Bryan visits them frequently they'll ask to meet me. After all, he talks about me and they ask about me when he's there.

One such time was just before we left the tiny East Texas town we moved from in May/June. He had been visiting an elderly woman named Helen for two years and she requested he bring me along on his last visit before we moved. So, I went.

We got to the house and her husband walked out with a smile on his face. He greeted us, shooed the dog away, and invited us in. We walked into their modest yet comfortable home nestled in the woods next to a beautiful pond. The living area had large picture windows that permitted you to enjoy the outdoors while in the comfort of the A/C. Across from the living room was a large bedroom with a long hallway to the bathroom. On the other side was the modest kitchen and a small bedroom they used for an office. You could tell they were proud of the modest yet comfortable home they had built together.

We came in and Helen was sitting in her chair. Helen had been battling cancer for 6 years. Yes, six years. She had undergone every cancer treatment, conventional and unconventional, and was still hanging in there, although very frail and weak. She was in pain much of the six years she was battling this thing.

We chatted about the weather, about their children and grandchildren, about our coming arrival, about the church. Then Helen's husband suggested she take me into the bedroom to show me the pictures of her children and grandchildren of which she was so proud.

Helen got into her wheelchair with the help of her husband and I wheeled her in there. She had such pride, but also such sadness as she showed me each picture and gave me the life story of each of them.

When we got up to leave Helen couldn't control herself any longer. She started to cry. She knew that Bryan was moving and that she would never see him again. That the end is near for her. Although her husband is staying strong and has not told her the latest doctors report, that there's nothing left, conventional or unconventional, to do for her cancer, she knew. She couldn't help but know.

When we left Bryan told me the reason her husband suggested I take her to see the pictures in the other room was so he could discuss funeral arrangements without her hearing, and the possibility of Bryan coming back to do the funeral.

On the drive home I couldn't help but think about the stories they told, the life they built together, the warmth they had for others, the children and grandchildren they were proud of, the 52nd anniversary they just celebrated, the love he so strongly still had for his wife after all of these years. And, how they were about to lose eachother. I choked back the tears. I said to Bryan "How do you deal with things like this day after day?" He simply said "I've been doing it a long time". (He was in the mental health/mental retardation field before becoming a minister, which had it's own unique sadnesses).

I will never take for granted the phrase "I'm going visiting" again.

Uh, oh.

2005-07-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

My parents entrusted me with the second of the safety deposit box keys that they had. Apparently the bank said it is best for them to keep one and to give the other to a trusted relative.

They seem to think I'm a "trusted relative". I'm not sure why. About 7 years ago they lived in West Virginia and opened a safety deposit box there. Not that they have a lot worth putting in a safety deposit box. I don't think they're too worried about me getting anxious for my inheritance and killing them off or anything. I think mostly their wills and a few other things are in there. Hmm, come to think of it...maybe I should visit the safety deposit box just to be sure! (kidding!)

Anyway, since I'm supposed to be the "responsible" daughter (side note...not that my sister is "irrisponsible", but I've been more stable than her until now as far as my personal life. You know, married 12 years and that sort of stability. When they made out their wills even though she is the older one, they named me executor because she wanted no part of it.) they thought I would be the most logical "trusted relative". So, they gave me the key back when they lived in West Virginia, too. And I put it in my file cabinet. What other logical place would it go? Even though it was small, I thought it would be safe in the "Legal documents, marriage certificates, etc." hanging file.

Except I wasn't smart enough to realize that hanging files have slits in the side.

When they moved from West Virginia and closed the safety deposit box they needed the key back. No Problem! I went to the file cabinet and opened it to the "legal documents" file right where I left it. But it wasn't there. So, I spent 2 hours ripping every file apart and turning the file cabinet upside down. I never found it.

Then I was left with the task of telling my parents I couldn't find it. I offered to pay the $50 replacement fee, but they refused. They said it was anyone's mistake and not to worry about it. I even gave them the pouty lip and puppy dog eyes so they would let me pay and clear my conscience. I guess they wanted me to take it to my grave because they still refused and paid it themselves.

So, they are now full-time RVers. They changed to a bank that had branches all over the US. Much against their better judgement they gave me the key for their new box. We all had a nice laugh when they handed it to me. My dad gave me a stern "don't lose it this time" and laughed. I said "OH, I won't. Believe me". I taped it to the side of the desk. I figured the desk wasn't going anywhere, there's no way I could lose it. Right?

So, fast forward a year to last May. We moved. Remember the desk? We decided it was too bad of shape to make the move so we put it in the burn pile. Did I even THINK about the key? Noooooooooooo!

But WAIT! There's More!

After we loaded all of our stuff and were headed down to Houston for the last time, Bryan pulls out a key from his pocket. He says "Do you know what this is? It was just laying on the floor in the spare bedroom we used for an office". Lo, and behold...it was a SAFETY DEPOSIT KEY!

I breathed a sigh of relief! What a close call! RIGHT?

But WAIT! There's More!

I was up at the wee hours this morning because of a case of insomnia. The key was sitting TAPED to the file cabinet. And something possessed me to look at it. And I realized it said "Blah blah Bank, WEST VIRGINIA"

HOLY CRAP! IT'S THE OLD KEY, NOT THE NEW ONE!

So, now I get to go sheepishly back to the folks like I did as a teeneager telling them I did something wrong. I have to tell them I lost the key. Again. Maybe I should say "But the good news is I found the other one I lost!" Yea, that will go over well, now that they spent the $50. About as well as saying "But the good news is I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

I'm pretty sure I'll lose the "trusted relative" status after this one. I might even be grounded.

35 days left. 35 days?

2005-07-18T05:00:00.000-05:00

At 4 AM my dog decided she needed to go outside, and my body decided once it was up it wasn't going back to sleep. So, I laid there in bed, trying not to be too restless to wake hubby. Then I started thinking about pretty much everything under the sun. Why is it that your mind races more at the wee hours of the morning instead of 2 in the afternoon? Then I got really hungry, so I got up and had a snack and here I am.

Holy crap. I just looked at my baby calculator and it says I have 35 days left. Which really means I probably have more like 28 days left, because the doctor has already said due to the gestational diabetes she wasn't comfortable letting me go further than 39 weeks. So, I'm most likely going to be induced if she doesn't decide to come before then.

HOLY CRAP! It just sunk in. I better get busy. We don't even have the stuff we need yet. I think I better get a few diapers on hand. That might be a teency weency bit necessary when we get home from the hospital. Oh, and probably a list of a billion other things, starting with a CAR SEAT. Yes, they won't let me take her home without that.

HOLY CRAP! In less than a month I'm going to be a MOMMY. Lord, help us all.

Over Analysis

2005-07-14T09:15:00.000-05:00

Do you ever look at a word and realize how weird it looks? A word you use every day that just comes out funny, or looks weird on paper?

The other day I was in the shower and looked at the shampoo bottle. The word is made up of "Sham" and "poo". Neither words are good and neither of them would I like touching my hair. It's a "Sham" meaning it's fake. AND it's "poo". Who wants poo on their hair? How did that become the word for the stuff you clean your hair with?

Then I was watching TV and a carpet commercial came on. CAR PET. It has nothing to do with a car OR a pet. Except if your pet messes on your carpet enough he may end up in the car going someplace far, far away.

Can you think of any others?

How the world suddenly revolves around you.

2005-07-13T10:25:00.000-05:00

I feel so self absorbed now that I'm pregnant. Hey, it's not my fault. It just seems like whenever I go anywhere the subject suddenly turns to my large tummy. Even if I walk into a conversation and it is something that sounds interesting, they automatically change it to my stomach and the soon-to-come festivities when I come in.

Then it starts going to your head. You know, that the world DOES revolve around you. I have mentioned before that I'm having a horrible time with feet swelling. To the point that none of my shoes fit. And, unfortunately, this 5'11" frame wears a size 11 shoe. So, it isn't exactly EASY to just go out and get a size 12.

The other day I couldn't fit into my shoes anymore, so Hubby and I went to the shoe store, with my unbuckled sandals, hoping to find some new ones. As I walk into the store three customers and a clerk practically in unison say "OH, look at her poor swollen feet!" "OK," I think, "They are really in tune with feet here, being it's a SHOE store. I'm not THAT freaky". I say something lame like "Yea" and go off to find the shoes. They don't carry 12's. They barely carry 11's.

So, off to another store..same thing. And another, same thing.

So, I'm feeling large, and the shoe stores are rubbing it in that I AM large. I studdenly started BAWLING (In the car, not in the store, thank God). Which is completely unlike me.

Hubby at first said "What's wrong?". OK, how do you explain that you are bawling because you can't wear shoes and you feel HUGE and like a freak? Especially when the reasons are for such precious ones like you have a BABY COOKING in there? What a stupid reason to cry. But, being the world revolves around ME now, it seemed logical at the time.

I just shook my head. Bryan was smart enough to let it go and leave me alone until I gathered my exposure. And then we moved on like nothing happened.

The Breastfeeding Class

2005-07-11T09:59:00.000-05:00

I signed up for a breastfeeding class. I am pretty determined to breastfeed after everything I've read, but I've also been warned it can be a frustrating thing at first. So, even though millions of women since the beginning of time have breastfed, I felt as though I, Carol, should take a class.

And, much to my husbands dismay, I also felt like he should go with me.

So, last week we were off to class. I think 5 times on the way down there I heard "I hope other men are there". Walking into the building he said "If there aren't any other men in there I'm leaving". And, of course, we walk in about 15 minutes early and the only people that are there are two women. My hubby sat down but started biting his nails nervously. Finally, other men started coming in and I could see the relief on his face. As the first one came in I thought he was going to jump up and hug him. He's such a trooper.

Anyway, the class was quite good. I learned a lot. I think it will help tremendously. I started pondering the whole breastfeeding thing after the class. I mean, it's amazing how God put us all together.

It's actually amazing that anyone ever is born. Think about it. First the sperm has to swim, and the egg has to get released, find it's way down the tube, the sperm and the egg have to find eachother, connect, then the sperm has to put a "no vacancy" sign out on the egg so no other sperm think they have a shot. Then the cells have to divide. And one cell says "Hey! I'll be an eyeball!" and another cell says "OK, I'll be the blood vessels", etc. etc. The woman's body does its hormone thing which triggers all these other responses, and the placenta is formed, etc. etc. And this all JUST HAPPENS.

Then, once the baby is out the woman's body JUST KNOWS to start producing milk. Or colostrum at first, which is what the baby needs the first few days then around day 4 it produces milk. And if you don't breastfeed? It just stops producing it. Amazing.

Not that you needed this babymaking lesson, but have you ever really thought about it?? How God just has made nature do it's thing? I mean, how this works is much more amazing than how a car or a TV or a computer or any man made thing works. This has been working for thousands of years with nothing to plug in. Well, except for the occassional piece of pizza.

To all those in the UK

2005-07-07T08:06:00.000-05:00

Allow me to express my sympathy and disgust at the terror attacks this morning. As I turned the news on this morning my stomach literally got ill as I watched what happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Getting older

2005-07-05T10:51:00.000-05:00

I realized at about 1 a.m. last night that I'm old. Yes, I have reached that milestone that I so longingly wanted to reach when I was about 5, insisted I had reached when I was about 16, and wanted to stop when I was about 29. I'm there at 32. I'm old.

What, might you ask, sparked such a philosophical thought at 1 a.m.? My new neighbors, who I call "the kids next door" had a party. These "kids" as I call them look like they are 15. She decided to wash her car in a thong bikini the other day, and her body didn't look much older than 15, either. But they can't be because they are #1 married and #2 homeowners. I am guessing they can't be more than 22, though. If they are then life has been really good to them.

So, back to last night. As they were setting off 4th of July fireworks (which is actually illegal this year here because of the severe drought) and drinking, smoking, and talking loudly, I found myself not longing to be invited like I once would have been, but instead irritated that they wouldn't be quiet so I could get some sleep. And after all, my husband had to work the next day.

Then it hit me. I'm old. How did that happen, anyway?

What age (if you are there yet!) did you realize you've gotten "old"?

I've become a hermit.

2005-07-03T15:56:00.000-05:00

I don't leave the house anymore. Too hot. The mercury has officially hit 100 degrees Farenheit. That would be 37.8 degrees celcius for those who follow that scale. I never would have guessed what heat does to a pregnant body. Last night at 9pm I thought I would perhaps walk the dog. She loves it, and if I chose the treadmill over her she gives me dirty looks. And puts her little paw on her hip and taps her foot. Who wants to deal with a dog with an attitude? But, I checked weather.com and at 9 pm it was still 93 degrees. So, I opted for air conditioning and a dog with an attitude.

I need ribbon for the baby's room. I need to go to Home Depot. I'll wait until Monday when they are open past dark.

The point I am making here is, I've learned that if you do not leave the house you tend to not have a lot to blog about. In fact, you don't have much to think about, either. Just four months ago I had a career and was busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Now, I sit. And put my feet up. And blog. And make dinner. And cook, and clean. I feel my mind slowly, slowly turning to mush. I used to close half a million dollar deals, now I get upset when I can't find the pickles in the grocery store. I used to have lunch with VIP's, now I sit like a puppy by the window waiting for my husband to come home for lunch. I used to advise people on important research, now I consult Helouise for advice.

I'm not saying SAHM's don't think. Well, and the fact of the matter is I don't have the "M" part yet, I'm just a SAH nothing until the baby comes. I'm sure once she's here I'll be as busy as heck. What I am saying is if I don't get some stimulation soon then my brain is going to turn to mush and I'm going to have to keep the drool rags around for me and not the baby.

Anybody know any good books?

I'm already making deals

2005-07-01T10:57:00.000-05:00

I've been having little talks with Rachel. You see, I'm at 33 weeks as of Monday. 7 weeks before the due date. Things are getting quite miserable.

The first trimester things were new. I was nauseous, but I was so in awe that I was having a baby I didn't care. And the more nauseous I felt the more I knew things were going OK. So, that wasn't bad.

Then the second trimester. The second trimester I felt fine. No more nausea, the baby wasn't too big yet so I could move around fine, the maternity clothes were new and fun to wear still, people started asking "when are you due" which was neat, and best of all I could start to feel the baby move and marvel in the wonder of that. I would sit for an hour just feeling her move and smiling.

Then came the third trimester. Ah, yes, the third trimester. When people asked when I was due during the first and second trimesters and I would say "August 22nd", they would often give me a look and pat me like I was someone who just announced I lost my pet. One old lady even said "Oh, honey, you just wait. Pregnant in August in Texas" and she shook her head. I thought "OH, these silly people. It's not going to be that bad".

Well, I was wrong. The heat is miserable. I went to the store the other day and had to park halfway down the parking lot. By the time I got into the store sweat poured from my brow, my armpits, my back, and other places you would probably not care for me to mention.

Then my feet started to swell. When I say my feet are swelling, I mean they are HUGE. I look like I have a flesh-colored cast on my foot. The swelling is so bad that I can't wiggle my toes, and I have to wear my husband's shoes. I put my feet up whenever I can, I walk to increase circulation, drink plenty of water, read all the books and did what they said, but alas, nothing has helped.

Then came the tiredness. The excessive tiredness. Many people said it's a part of it. I got my blood panel done at the doctors though, and I had low iron and gestational diabetes. Low iron, no problem. Just take iron supplements. The gestational diabetes, however, is another story. I took the class from the dietician and was told exactly what and when to eat. I have to eat every 2 to 3 hours, and have a strict list of how many starches, protein, veggies, fat, milk and fruit and when I can eat them. I have been eating EXACTLY what I'm supposed to. I mean, not a crumb more, and have been exercising daily. My levels (especially my fasting levels which there's NOTHING I can do about) are still high. So, I get to go on insulin.

And have I mentioned the achy back and the restless nights?

So, back to my talk with Rachel. I told her that if she came just two weeks early (no earlier than that because then I'd be sick with worry that she was TOO early) then I would buy her a car. Someday. Shhh, don't tell her dad.

The Rose Bush

2005-06-29T09:56:00.000-05:00

I generally have a green thumb...except when it comes to roses. For some reason when a rose bush sees me it immediately withers. I will try not to take it too personally.

Bryan has given me mini-rose bushes before thinking they would last longer than roses. You could almost hear the things squeal the minute he handed them to me. Maybe I have Halitosis or something, but I just breathe on the things and they start to shrivel. Geez. How rude.

When we moved into the parsonage in the middle of nowhere East Texas, someone came to the house to welcome us with...you guessed it...a mini rose bush. I was determined to keep this thing alive. I read books and the internet on the subject, I repotted the sucker into the type of soil it was supposed to like, I pulled off the dead blooms, I read it bedtime stories, I did a Native American growth dance, and I even let it sit in a little lounge chair while I sat with glasses perched on the end of my nose and a little pad and pencil and listened to it's problems. It died on me anyway.

Our first day at the new church they had a welcome reception for us. They had a nice spread of cookies, nuts and punch. Donning the table was a centerpiece with a MINI ROSE BUSH in the middle. And the sweet little grey haired lady serving the punch said "the rose bush is for you to take home when this is over". I think she could see the immediate fear in my eyes as she stepped back a little. I thought about begging her not to do that to the poor little rose bush, but I figured that would be in poor taste.

After it was over and I walked toward my husband with rose bush in hand, his eyes got very large. He said "Is that for us?". I said "Yes, wasn't that nice?" Hoping he would have forgotten the thousands of rose bushes that sacrificed their lives before this one. His response was "How long will it take you to kill this one?"

I decided not to even try. After all, I put my heart and soul into the last one only for it to die on me. The more emotion I invest the more heartbreaking it is when I see the last leaf fall slowly from the stem. So, I watered the thing and put it on the windowsil of the kitchen. That was three weeks ago. I have watered it, and that's about it. Now it has beautiful dark green foliage and buds galore.

It likes me! It really likes me!

If it dies I'm going to bury it in the back yard and put a little cross out of popsickle sticks. It's never too early for funeral planning.

The birthing class

2005-06-27T22:45:00.000-05:00

We started our birthing classes tonight. The whole experience was quite interesting. Is it possible to flunk this class?

The nurse started out by having us introduce ourselves. We were all supposed to say when we were due, what it was going to be if we knew, and what our greatest fear is about having the baby. I decided that I was pretty relaxed until I heard everyone else's fears. As each person mentioned what they were worried about, I started thinking "Oh, yea, that IS a concern" and "I hadn't thought about that!". And then they ran the tape warning about preterm labor. By the time I finished the tape I became quite the hypochondriac and started thinking I've had or was currently having every symptom they mentioned. "OMG! Was that a pain? uh, no, that was just the baby moving." "Oh, no, was that a cramp? Oh, no, just gas". Sheesh.

And then the very nice nurse had us lay on the floor and had our husbands massage us for relaxation. Obviously this woman has never had a massage from my dear husband. Quite often I wonder if he is actually trying to relax me, give me a rug burn, or crank a model-T. Relaxing? Uh, no. Try as he might, poor thing. I gritted my teeth as she put on soft music and in a soothing voice kept saying "concentrate on relaxing...relax...relax...". Then Bryan started cracking jokes and we got glared at from the nurse. I made him be quiet before she sent us to the principal.

We did get a nice tour of the facilities. The birthing rooms are great, but once you actually get the kid out they put you in these tiny rooms that resemble a coat closet only it has cable TV. Really, besides the size they are very nice. We went by the nursery and we saw the tiny little babies in there. I had to walk away as just seeing one made my eyes water. Yes, my hubby is going to have a long post-partem time with me. Get ready, dear.

Karen's Meme

2005-06-27T09:15:00.000-05:00

Karen from Karentertainment tagged me for a Meme about 100 years ago, but I hadn't done it yet due to my computer/internet/moving problems. So, here it is!

10 things I've never done:

1. Gone on a cruise
2. Met any of my grandparents
3. Eaten frog legs, alligator or bugs of any kind
4. Played hopscotch
5. Had a one night stand
6. Seen or read Alice in Wonderland or Bambi
7. Written to a famous person
8. Camped overnight in a tent
9. Worn a girdle
10. Played the lottery

There ya go! I'm not sure who has done this and who hasn't...so if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

All is right with the world again...

2005-06-25T22:48:00.000-05:00

After reading my previous blog I realized I was getting upset over things that were so minor. I mean, in the overall scheme of things the pregnancy is going well (with the exception of minor things but at least they are minor FIXABLE things), the move wasn't TOO disaserous, and overally I'm pretty blessed. I guess we all have our good and bad days. Especially while pregnant. I have been so whiny lately, I'm not sure how hubby has put up with it. ..."My back hurts", "My side hurts", "The baby is kicking my insides", "The baby is on my bladder", "This gestational diabetes SUCKS", "I want a milkshake and I can't have one", "My feet are swollen", "It's hot", "I can't walk fast","I can't get comfortable". Just a few of my whinings over the weekend. All in all things could be much worse. Come to think of it, my whininess bled over to my blog. So, this is an official "Sorry 'bout that".

The cable company gave me a new modem, the water company aplogized for screwing up and reduced the bill from $250 to $37.50, and the satellite company is sending me a new receiver. I won't complain about how UPS lost it, but it is on it's way now.

Anyway, I'm hoping tomorrow I can start blogging on a daily basis like I used to. And I'll try to make my new entries much more interesting than this one.

AAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

2005-06-23T14:41:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am...with DIALUP (at a mighty 14 kbps). My cable modem crapped out on me after about an hour on the internet. I have a technician coming tomorrow between 10am and 12pm. IF he shows.

*bang* *bang* *bang*

(That's the sound of my head banging on the wall as I rock back and forth in the fetal position.)

Well, it will give me more time to call the water company who sent me a $250 water bill (no, in the two weeks I have been here I did not use $250 worth of water). And the satellite company because our satellite TV isn't working, either.

Or, I could just crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head. Maybe after I finish rocking.

Could it be??

2005-06-22T14:19:00.000-05:00

Part two of my internet disaster....

The cable company, who I now refer to as the spawn of satan along with my sister's dog (but that's another story) did finally call me. They set up an appointment for last Wednesday between 4 and 6 to come and connect our cable internet. I had a church dinner thingie I was supposed to go to, but I realized some sacrifices have to be made if you want certain other nicities in life, so I opted out of the dinner to sit for the cable man. Four o'clock came. Four thirty. Five thirty. Ironically the Seinfeld episode where Cramer waits for the cable man and then taunts him comes on TV. I enjoyed that immensely. Six PM comes. I thought maybe they were just running late. Seven o'clock came and I phoned the cable company. I get into this horrendous automated loop that always ended with some supposedly soothing but rather annoying female computer voice saying "You have an appointment on Wednesday from 4 to 6. To keep this appointment press 1. To cancel it, press 2". Apparently annoying computer voices can't tell time because it was well after 6pm. I would press "1". It would say "Your appointment has been confimred. Goodbye!".

Finally I outsmarted the computer (OK, there's a first time for everything.) and called from my cell phone, so they didn't know who I was. I finally got a live person, who forwarded me to another live person, who had me on hold for about 20 minutes. She came back and said "They will call you to let you know when they are coming". I say "Does that mean they are still coming today?" after all, it was well past 7:30 by this time. She said "I'm not sure".

Now I'm really missing the baked potatoes and salad I was supposed to have at church instead of the leftover cold frozen pizza that I accidentally left in the microwave too long while watching the afore mentioned Seinfeld episode and, therefore, chewed like cardboard.

Finally at 9:30pm, having already given up and changed into my PJ's, I get a phone call from a woman who apologizes profusely and asks if I'll be home tomorrow (last Thursday) for them to come. I said after 3 pm. She said they would be here after 3 pm Thursday.

OK, so 3:30 pm they show up. Great! Finally! Right? Wrong. The guy comes in, goes into this long complaint about the last house and how the lady had "a zillion kids running around" and how it was difficult to work there, and then proceeds to tell me that no one told him I needed a new jack put in and he didn't have time to do it. Sigh. Realizing my pregnancy hormones are at full force as the day before I practically lost it on a guy who wanted to charge me for ranch dressing with my calzone, I chose to instead of losing it on him right there rather count to ten and reschedule for the following Wednesday. That would be today.

A different (thank God) guy who was pleasant came today and had it done in an hour. I thought about hugging the guy but he was drenched in sweat from being in my attic. I do have my limits as much as I do appreciate him.

So, no more 14 k speed internet! I will be on regularly again for your blogging pleasure. Or more MY blogging pleasuere.

I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth!

2005-06-09T23:30:00.000-05:00

Would you believe that I now, as of Monday, live in civilization (more on that later) and I am having a harder time getting internet access than when I lived 40 miles from the nearest grocery store? I'm amazed.

Anyway, we did the much anticipated move on Monday and Tuesday (much more on that later). I hooked my computer up and hoped to use dialup until I could get something better. Believe it or not, in the stix I got about a 52kbs dialup, but here very close to Houston I get 14.4!! That's ugly. So, I click on a page, go bake a cake, wash the dog, take tap dancing lessons, click again, learn to cross stitch, meet the neighbors, click on the next page. You get the idea.

OK, no problem. I'll just get DSL. Certainly it is available here. It JUST became available in the stix from which I came. I called the phone company..."Yes! We have it available there!". Great. I sign up. They came by today and said they were wrong. Something about copper wiring, blah, blah, blah. I say "Hey, it's a brand new house! It can't have old wires!" They say something about lines from the central office...copper...whatever. I just don't get it. I wasn't supposed to have these problems living closer to the city. My cell phone actually works here, and it didn't work in the stix.

Fine, so now my only option is cable modem. Well, and satellite internet, but that's too expensive. Tonight I signed up for cable. Online. It literally took an hour to get through the pages to place the order. Sigh.

So, I haven't visited your blogs because, well, at this point the frustration is about like grating your knuckles in a cheese grater. And I'm already hormonal, being pregnant and all. I have read your responses to mine (thanks for that! Some of your drunk/peeing stories were funny! Oh, and the iron pills seem to be helping the energy just a bit, although I admit I may have overdone it a day or two moving. Don't know the results of the 3 hour diabetes test yet, but thanks for asking).

I am supposed to hear from the cable people within 72 hours. If you hear a scream coming from the Southern United States, well, that's just me if the cable company says they can't do it, either.

Now I get to click and wait for this to post. Maybe I'll learn a foreign language like Spanish waiting. Better make that Chinese. It will take a little longer.

Times Change

2005-06-04T13:46:00.000-05:00

I had lunch with one of my friends the other day. She and I used to do a lot together. Amy and I have been friends for about 5 years. We worked together at the bio-tech company I worked for until I quit in February. We had some good times. Good times.

A couple of years ago we had a work meeting in Boca Raton Florida. Amy and I, along with about 4 of our co-worker guy friends decided to go a couple of days early and go to Key West. Our husbands couldn't go, but told us to go have fun anyway. So, we did. We found a place to stay...a trailer park with two single wide trailers, one for Amy and me to stay, and one for the four guys. These trailers were 2 bedroom one bath single wide mobile homes and...well...icky. The nastiest things. But they were cheap for Key West, right close to everything, and the beds seemed to be clean, so we took them.

The first night we went out to the strand and had a great time. We saw the sights and bar hopped and people watched. Some of us had too much to drink (OK, for the record, NOT ME!). When we got back to our trailers it was around 2am. The guys proceeded to their trailer (well, stagger was more like it) and they realized they had locked the wrong lock and didn't have a key to get in. The office of this trailer park wouldn't open until 8am, so they were screwed until morning. What could Amy and I do but offer our place? I bunked in her room with her, two guys stayed in my room, and one on the sofa in the living room and the other on the (albeit nasty) floor. OK, not the most ideal accommodations, but they were all nice guys and we were fine with it.

At about 4am Amy nudged me. She whispered "Carol! Someone is in our room!" I opened my eyes and squinted in the dark and said "Who IS that?". One of the guys was just standing there at the foot of the bed looking at us. COMPLETELY NAKED. You would think we would have been a little more startled, but for some reason we weren't. Finally we realized it was David. He turned around like he was going to go back out, then he turned toward us again, started to crawl in bed until he realized someone was there. Then he said "OH, excuse me". He turned around and stood, staring at the wall. We then heard a trickle. Amy said to me "Is that what I think it is?" I replied "Uhhh, I think so". David peed on the wall. He then proceeded to walk out. Amy got up and locked the door. And then we giggled. And giggled. And giggled until the entire trailer shook. We couldn't stop giggling.

Oh, the next day David remembered NOTHING. We made him clean up the pee. He was SO embarrassed. He said "what happens in Key West STAYS in Key West, right?" Yea, right. We teased him inscescently. And we all agreed not to tell anyone at the meeting we were all going to, but that lasted about 5 minutes. It was too juicy to keep. Now David is known as "The guy that peed in the girl's room in Key West". Poor thing. And since I've repeated this story I've learned it is apparently common when a guy gets way too drunk to pee in the most inappropriate places in their sleep.

Amy and I had a lot of times like that. Now Amy is in the middle of divorce and is ready to have the partying single life again. I'm about to be a mom and have little interest in bar hopping and the party life. Our lunch was sad, really. There were quite a few moments of silence, where we ran out of things to say. Oh, we chatted about the baby and about my old work (where she still works). But it wasn't the same. It's kind of sad in a way. But times change, and people change, and situations change. I'm sure Amy and I will exchange Christmas cards every year. I sure hope we keep in touch enough to know how life works out for her.

High hopes

2005-06-03T09:55:00.000-05:00

I got a call from the doctor and she said I have low iron and may have gestational diabetes (have to go in for more testing for that).

So, you're not SUPPOSED to feel like crap while you are pregnant? I have been so tired lately. I just thought it was all the moving and family here for my hubby's probational ordination service thingie. I have never been considered LAZY, but I sure have been lately. I mean, packing has been such an effort. It takes me 5 times as long to do anything as it used to.

I'm hoping these iron pills will be like a can of spinach for Popeye. I'll pop a pill and get all the energy I need to spin around and get things done in a jiffy! Or maybe even they will work as "smart" pills. I'll have so much energy to think I'll be able to write wonderful blog entries that are both humorous and intellectually challenging.

OK, I know you aren't holding your breath.

Random thoughts while driving/packing/moving/celebrating

2005-05-28T11:44:00.000-05:00

We're finally at the tail end of this three week long moving/celebrating fest. Anxious to get in the new place and get settled. Only one more 8 hour round trip and one 4 hour one-way trip left to Houston! YAY! Then I am going to park my car in the garage and never leave again! (OK, not really. But I'm not traveling for a long, long time).

Anyway, the following are random thoughts I've had lately...

**Buzzards. They get no respect. God was not merciful to these creatures when he made them. I mean, lets face it. They are ugly as sin. Yet, they do so much for us. They clean the road-kill. Can you imagine if they didn't eat road kill? We would have all kinds of creatures decaying and stinking on country roads. We should be thanking these birds. But do we drive down the road and say "OH, LOOK! A BUZZARD!" like we would a bluebird, or a hummingbird, or a painted bunting? No. We say in a dissapointed way "ewww...a buzzard". So, I today say all hail to the buzzard. And thanks for being the sanitary workers of nature.

**Words of wisdom...if you are going to buy a house it may LOOK like a good idea to have the laundry room upstairs with the bedrooms. And your father may say it won't be a big deal to get the washer upstairs. But make sure he knows that the staircase is one of those "broken" ones, where you go up a few steps then turn on a landing and go up a few more. And that the dolly won't be able to turn on the landing. Nothing is as unsettling as watching a clothes washer tumble down the stairs on top of your husband.

**Why is it that old people like to bombard you with newspaper clippings? Maybe it's just the old people I know. Or, come to think of it, I'm thinking it's not OLD people, but just my husbands family. Or maybe just people from Minnestoa, as that is where his mom's family is from. I don't think hubby grandmother, aunt, or mother have ever read a newspaper without a pair of scissors in hand. Every time I see them or get a letter from them I get 5 or 10 from each of them. And it is usually stuff that I can't figure out why they would think I would be interested. Or a recipe. Yet I feel obligated to read them for fear I will get 20 questions later. Is this a common phenomenon?

Now, I'm going to take a nap while I can! That is...if I can find the bed in between these boxes.

Popping in!

2005-05-24T10:05:00.000-05:00

Thought I would peek a moment between moving boxes and celebrations. I miss my blogging friends!

Closed on the house, got the apartment I had in Houston moved to the new place, working on packing the house, cleaning, etc. All this while trying to keep my legs and feet from swelling like elephants, and trying not to lift anything major. Oh, joy.

The church had a baby shower for us the other day! It was so nice. Much against all my better judgement....Here's a picture...see how I'm becoming pleasantly plump? And I have three months to go. YIKES!

And now for a moment of sappyness....this is a warning. Bare with me:
I am amazed at how you can love something you can't see. I can feel this baby moving inside me, I can even SEE her move when I look at my tummy. But I am so amazed how I can love her so much. I don't know what she looks like. I don't know her personality. I don't even know if she'll be easy or difficult. And none of it matters. I love her anyway.

Now, go visit David at Amateur Dad and wish him well...they are inducing his wife TODAY!

Grandmas and Minnesota

2005-05-13T21:14:00.000-05:00

Imagine an 84 year old woman and an obviously pregnant woman walking through the airport together. If you were in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport on Thursday that would have been the scene. I flew up to the twin cities on Wednesday, rented a car, drove to Mankato and picked my hubby’s 84 year old grandma to bring her down for his upcoming graduation/ordination festivities. She is afraid to fly alone and I was elected to be her escort. I spent Wednesday night at her little apartment and we took off at 7:30am for the airport again on Thursday.

I love his Grandma. She is a sweet little old lady. She walks slow, shuffling each foot an inch at a time. She can’t stand for long. She can’t see very well. Her hearing is poor. But grandma has no problem talking. BOY can she talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. All of these features combined make for an interesting two days when you are alone with grandma for that long.

I got to her apartment at 3:30 p.m. She was standing at the door waiting for me with her coat on already, even though I told her I would be there between 4:00 and 4:30 p.m. She hugged me and immediately said “Are you hungry?” My husband’s family will NOT let anyone starve. They will let you in the house, shove food down your throat, and massage your tonsils while it is on the way down.

I said “Grandma, it’s 3:30. I ate at one o’clock on the plane”
She said “Oh, I think you must be hungry”
I barely got out “but really, I’m n….”
Grandma, halfway out the door “Lets go! I’m sure you’re hungry”

OK, some battles aren’t worth fighting. We went to her favorite restaurant, the Dam Store. She emphasizes the “DAM” part of the name and giggles whenever she says it. I wonder if she doesn’t like the restaurant just because she is an old very Lutheran woman who doesn’t curse, and she’s allowed to say “Damn” when she says “Dam Store”. Anyway, this is a hole in the wall place. The tables are warped and crooked. The seats are tearing. The floor is coming up. But they have great home-cooked burgers and shakes. The young woman behind the counter makes rhubarb pies that her grandma taught her how to make. This is all grandma needed to know to make it her favorite restaurant.

The temperature was 45 degrees in Minnesota. That night Grandma said “I turned on the heat to 78. I know Texas is a lot hotter than here!”
I said “Grandma, I have flannel pajamas. We don’t keep it that hot at our house! Don’t you normally turn your heat off? Really I would be more comfortable……”
Grandma replied “I think you need a fourth blanket. Here is a wool quilt”
I said “Really, Grandma, we keep our air on cooler than th…..”
She said, “Oh, you must be tired!”
I said “Grandma, it’s 8 o’clock”
Grandma said “Oh, it’s so late! I’m going to leave you alone so you can go to bed”
I said “Really, I never go to bed bef….”
Grandma was halfway to her room. Truth is, she goes to bed at 8 p.m. And I laid there with flannel pajamas and no covers in a pool of sweat all night. Watching the clock.

The entire two days I think I maybe finished one sentence. She told me the life stories of her hairdresser, neighbors, the manager at Old Country Buffet, her minister, her various cousins, nieces, nephews, their spouses, and repeated stories about her husband when he was alive. And then she repeated the life stories of hairdresser, neighbors, the manager at Old Country Buffet, her minister, her various cousins, nieces, nephews, their spouses, and repeated stories about her husband when he was alive. Then She repeated them all a third, and if they were really good fourth time. Many times she would say “Did I tell you about so-and-so” and I would say “Yes, grandma, you di….” and she would start on the story and go on and on.

In the airport we were a scene. She had to have a wheelchair so she couldn’t go through security. She had a fit when they put the metal detector wand over her and patted her down. She didn’t understand why her metal earrings were OK going through the X-Ray. When they came with the cart of drinks on the plane she asked me how much they were. I told her they were free. She said “certainly they aren’t free”. So, she asked the flight attendant anyway.

By the time we got to our house on Thursday at 5pm I was exhausted. I went to bed at 8:30 that night. SHE, the 84 year old woman, however, was wired. She stayed up until 10:30 pm repeating the stories about her hairdresser, neighbors, the manager at Old Country Buffet, her minister, her various cousins, nieces, nephews, their spouses, and repeated stories about her husband when he was alive to my husband. I think I heard Bryan squeak “but” and “Yes” twice. I’m not sure.

I'll never learn.

2005-05-10T16:35:00.000-05:00

One thing about me that my husband has always griped about is...I never learn. I don't know the word "no". Well, I KNOW it. I just typed it over there. But I'm the first one to say "I can do it!", or other variations of that phrase. Need a cake for the church bake sale? "I'll do it!" Need a babysitter? "I'll do it!" Need someone to clean your house because you are recovering from a hospital stay? "I'll do it!"

I've had two businesses that went from hobbies to full-fledged business, to so successful I couldn't handle it on my own with my full time job besides. You would think after the first one I would have learned. But no. (Hey! There's the word again!)

So, when I realized I would be 6 months pregnant when moving several months ago, and when people offered to help, I should have jumped at it. But no. I said "Oh, I can handle it! No problem!"

That wouldn't be so bad...except...I also volunteered to fly up to Minnesota and drive two hours one way to pick up my husbands 82 year old grandmother and then the next morning drive back to the airport and fly back with her. I also volunteered to have the family here for the weekend for my husband's graduation (With a Masters of Divinity! Woo Hoo! He finished!) Yes, during the middle of a move. I also volunteered to bake a cake and decorate it with my new cake decorating skills for a congratulations/good luck party the church is giving my husband. I also volunteered to make a flower arrangement for a brunch next week. I also volunteered to have a picnic for the family (12 people) in two weeks at our NEW house for my husbands commissioning ceremony.

All of this while packing, getting things turned on, getting things turned off, and I'm still also moving out of the apartment I had while working in Houston. BESIDES moving out of the house to a new one. So, I guess that really qualifies as TWO moves. At once.

Why don't I listen to my husband? Before I was pregnant I would get myself in a time crunch, panic, lose sleep, but I managed. But now I keep forgetting that I'm 6 months pregnant. And now, my feet are so swollen that I can't put my shoes on, my back hurts, and it took me two hours to clean two bathrooms today. Yea, I'm in trouble.

So, if I'm not on here much (I'll be off and on for the next three weeks) you know why. And try not to say "I told you so".

Opinions Please!

2005-05-08T09:03:00.000-05:00

Got my hair trimmed yesterday and the hair stylist asked me if I wanted my hair flat-ironed. I have naturally curly hair, and generally just wash, dry and go. But if she was willing to go through all that extra work, I thought, "Hey! Might as well go different!"

So, I had my hair straight for the day. And then my family got into a discussion over weather I looked better with straight hair or curly. And one family member STRONGLY said I should straighten it every day. And the other three said the first one was crazy, that the curly hair was the best on me. So, I thought I would ask you all what you thought. Should I straighten it on a regular basis? Keep it curly?

Keep in mind, the pictures aren't the best. One makes me look like I have a fake tan (which I DO NOT). The other makes my face look bleached (which is probably more accurate.). But I think you can see what you need to of the hair in both.

My Husband Likes Frilly Little Girl Clothes

2005-05-06T08:53:00.000-05:00

He is going to kill me for this title if he reads my blog. Which he never does, so I think I’m safe. Well, he does if I grab his ear, staple his butt to the chair, and pull it up for him. But I only do that if there’s something REALLY good on it. And we all know how often that is. Unfortunately.

Anyway, we went to babies R us to change some things on our registry. Since I had gotten some advice on here and other places on what to and what not to register for, we decided to go and make changes. I’m glad we didn’t start out registering at Babies R us. That place is intimidating, and if Target and Toys R us had our head spinning I’m sure Babies R us would have sent us into a permanent shock. Permanent shock generally isn’t a good idea BEFORE the baby is born.

I started looking around. Bryan is NOT a shopper. He tries very hard to appease me. I pretty much know I have about three hip shifts (you know, weight on right leg, arm leaning on a clothes rack is the first hip shift. Then weight on left leg, hand under the chin is second shift. Then the third and final shift is back to the weight on right leg) before he starts loudly sighing and I must make my purchasing decisions and go quickly because he is about to explode.

I had to go through the baby clothes section before I left Babies R us. How could I not?? Especially since we are having a little girl. Those little girl clothes are so ADORABLE. I started walking through there, expecting him to lightly pull me back to the isle. But, he followed. So, I started looking at the frilly little girl dresses. And I said “This is so cute!” I looked out of the corner of my eye to see if he was on the first or second hip shift. I almost swallowed my gum when I realized he hadn’t even gotten to the first hip yet. So, I decided to push it.

I picked up a dress and said “Dear, isn’t this the cutest?” I waited patiently for the eye roll and the “Yes, now let’s go.” However, much to my surprise he said “Yes, that really is!” I looked up at him again. After all, when I was little once I went up to a woman at the grocery store thinking she was my mom and asked her to buy me some spray cheese. The woman made a noise and I looked up and ran. Hey, I was only about 5 and had never been so embarrassed. I thought perhaps I made the same mistake with some other man at Babies R Us. But I hadn’t! It was Bryan morphed into some unrecognizable little-girl’s-dad mode.

Next thing I new, HE picked up a little frilly dress and said “Look at this one.” If I had a medic alert button around my neck I think I would have pushed it at that point. My head got dizzy. My throat went dry. I was about to fall and not be able to get up. I was in such bliss. My husband was actually enjoying looking at little girl clothes with me. I didn’t know how to act! I started to worry he had broken out with a fever that made him delirious.

I picked up a few more things to look at, a cheerleader outfit from our favorite sports team (yea, I knew THAT would get him), an Easter dress. No hip shifts. No eye rolls, no “Hurry up”. More “Oh, yea, that’s cute too”.

The whole ordeal lasted about 10 minutes. I decided I better leave after that long because if he did morph back into his hip-shifting-eye-rolling self the moment would have been ruined forever. Yes, in 12 years of marriage I’ve learned how far to push.

Forget everything I've said.

2005-05-03T11:53:00.000-05:00

My last few posts have been about not being moody while pregnant and liking old people. Well, I decided after my experience today...I lied.

Unfortunately, because I live in the sticks, I have two choices for grocery shopping. Pay twice to three times as much at this mom-and-pop-shop which is 10 miles away, or go to the discount superstore that starts with a "W" that is 40 miles away. Yea. That one. I rather dispise this place, as I stated in an earlier post.

Once a month (sometimes twice) I go to the discount place to get the bulk of my groceries. When I need milk or other things that you can't get a month in advance I'll go to the mom-and-pop place.

Yesterday was my monthly trip. I thought while I was in town I would get my oil changed. After all, it was well overdue. I've never gotten my oil changed at the discount store before, but I figured, hey, I would be spending at least an hour gathering groceries. It was just so darn convenient. So, I pulled up beside the building. There were 4 stalls to chose from. I had no idea where to go, so I just picked one.

I got out of my car, and a man who looked like he was born in the stone age came out. He was a low talker. I could hardly understand a word he said, which was probably good, because due to the words I did understand I wanted to kick him in the nuts (hence, why I'm talking back the I'm not moody while pregnant that I stated earlier).

He mumbled "What do you want".
I said "an oil change, please"
He mumbled sarcastically, "And you parked in front of the tire stall?"

I wanted to say "How the hell was I supposed to know, ASSHOLE?"
But I didn't. I refrained. I counted to ten. I realized that I would never say that in my normal non-pregnant state. So, instead, I said "I'm sure that's happened before. This is my first time here" in a sarcastic voice. Lame, but that's all I could come up with while counting to ten.

He ignored my comment and asked what kind of car I had. I replied "A Honda CRV".

He went around back and looked at what I assume was the licence plate. Then he said "What kind of vehicle did you say this was?". I am 99% sure he was saying that to be an ass, because RIGHT IN FRONT of him in very large letters on the back of the car it said "Honda CRV". So, I went back, pointed and said "A Honda CRV".

He then mumbled "I'm sure you don't know how many miles are on it".

OK, does he just ASSUME I'm stupid? He went to open the door to look and I said "50,500 miles". Jerk.

THEN, he says "Which service do you want?". I asked what services they offered. He said "Oil changes". By then I was ticked. TICKED. I mean, I know they offer a just the basics oil change and a fancy check everything oil change but I didn't know what the fancy check everything oil change was called, and, heaven forbid I call it the WRONG thing and he be a jerk about it. So, I said "Well, don't you offer one that you check tire pressure and fluid levels?" He typed something in the computer, handed me a ticket, and walked away.

I yelled after him "And can you tell me when to expect it?". He mumbled something. I didn't have the energy to ask what he said.

Sigh. Just when I was in a happy bliss of sunshine and singing birdies, I had to run into this jerk.

I can't wait until I'm old.

2005-05-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

Actually, I can. But I do love old people. Perhaps because I never had grandparents growing up. My mom was a foster child and my dad's parents were deceased before or shortly after I was born. So, I always felt a little jipped on the grandparent issue. When I was in high school I adopted a grandmother through a service. The adopted grandmother was named "Mary" (aren't all old ladies named "Mary"?). Mary lived in a nursing home. She was in her 80's, in a wheelchair, and had a stroke so her left side was non-functional. Because of her stroke she had a hard time speaking. Her sentances were usually less than three words, and were very labored.

Mary's only family was a niece who lived across the country. The niece came to see her maybe once every three months, and for some reason didn't like us visiting. I think Mary may have had money or something. It was a nice nursing home, after all. And maybe the niece thought we were after it? Just a guess. When the niece was there she always asked us to leave and made a comment about how her FAMILY was there or something along those lines. And Mary would get upset, but we would just come back when the niece wasn't there. She wasn't there that often.

Anyway, when Bryan and I started dating he went with me to see Mary. When we got engaged Mary was so excited! She tried to tell everyone that walked by us in the nursing home about the engagement, but just ended up making squealing noises, so she would take my hand with the ring and shove it in the air. She was so cute.

There were others in the nursing home that we got to know a little bit while we were there. One lady, who I assume had alzheimers, would light up when we walked in the room. She would see Bryan and exclaim "LIVINGSTON!". Or sometimes she would see me and yell "BEVERLY!". Bryan, who later worked as a social worker at a nursing home, would come over to her and say "hello", and it would just delight her that "Livingston" came for a visit. For the longest time when I was kidding around with Bryan we would call eachother "Beverly" and "Livingston". I assume they were relatives of hers.

Now that I'm pregnant I seem to be very popular with the older generation. I walk in the room and they flock to touch the belly. Yesterday a tiny white haired lady came over and asked the typical questions, and then asked "Do you feel her move?" I said "Oh, yes, a lot". She looked at Bryan, looked at me, then whispered in a I'm-hard-of-hearing-so-I'm-not-wispering-but-I-think-I-am voice "well, she's going to have huge feet, so she's going to kick the HELL out of you". ROFL.

I love old people.

A Meme

2005-05-01T18:56:00.000-05:00

True Jersey Girl sent me a Meme (Hey, how did that term come up, anyway? The first time I saw someone reference a "meme" I had no idea what they were talking about. If someone would like to enlighten me....)

Her answers were great. I hope I can live up! Here goes:

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:

If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss... If I could be a backup singer …
If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer …

If I could be a movie reviewer...then the movie industry would probably go south because I'm pretty picky!

If I could be a backup dancer...it would be in the act of Abbott and Costello. If you could see me dance you would fully understand why.

If I could be a proctologist...I would try to keep the jokes at a minimum.

If I could be a Jedi...my husband would probably want to marry me all over again. He's such a star-wars geek.

If I could be a painter...I would definitely go broke.

Three other bloggers....Angie ('cuz she's my very good friend and therefore obligated to do these things), Adrienne (same reason), Elle (Because I like her and she is a great writer. I bet she would be very good at this.)

The way to be

2005-04-30T08:53:00.000-05:00

I hear people talking about their mental state during pregnancy and they usually mention being extremely moody. I do find my once rock existance easily shaken when I see a lost puppy or a sad movie, as I've mentioned in the past. However, overall I find my pregnancy state as one of extreme happiness. I wake up ready to face the world (well, as long as it isn't TOO early). I admire the birds, nature, people. I reflect more. Of course, this probably has a lot to do with me quitting my very stressful career, too.

I thought to myself the other day that I really should try to be this way no matter what my state is. When I had that stressful career perhaps I should have let things roll off my back a little more, perhaps relaxed a bit. Of course, the career may not have been quite as successful, but life would have been more pleasant.

Anyway, one of my reflection times was while driving in downtown Houston. A young guy, my guess late 20's, was driving a little red beat-up pickup truck. He was driving down the very busy highway between the downtown buildings, and he was really enjoying his music. Or what I assume was music. He was dancing while driving, flailing his arms, bouncing in his seat, singing. He was definitely happy. He didn't care if people saw him singing in the car, making a fool of himself while dancing. He liked his music and he was going to enjoy it.

I thought, THAT is the way to be.

Of course, in the back of my mind I have a difficulty completely burying the negative. I worry about money, about raising this baby right, about post-partem depression. Come to think of it, maybe the guy in the car wasn't singing. Maybe he was on the cell phone having a screaming fight with his girlfriend.

OK, I have a little ways to go before I'm completely in the carefree, positive mode. But I'm trying. And I've come a long way.

He Never Ceases to Amaze Me.

2005-04-28T23:01:00.000-05:00

“Martha” went to our church. I should actually say “was a member” because in the two years I’ve been here I’ve never actually seen her step foot in it. You see, Martha was 71 and grumpy. She never had a kind word, never said “please”. She was estranged from her children and everyone in her family except one sister who lived across the country. I think when Martha was a little girl her mother forgot to mention that if you hold your mouth a certain way for too long then it sticks in that position. Martha had a permanent frown on her face. Nobody liked her. She didn’t like anybody. She kept to herself unless she needed something.

Martha said she didn’t go to church because she was too ill. But yet you could find her driving and going to the grocery store 30 miles away. She was often seen at the local restaurant, eating by herself. Oh, she could get out. Everyone knew she didn’t go to church because she got into an argument with a previous pastor over what version of the bible should be used to teach a bible study. She noted that he was using a version she didn’t like, and told him so. And he disagreed. And she never came back.

That didn’t stop Martha from calling the church for favors. When her sister visited and needed a ride from the airport, she called the church and I answered the phone. She said in a gruff voice “This is Martha. I need to know who will pick up my sister Sunday morning at the airport.” All I could think was “The GALL of that woman! The least she could have done is ASK if there would be any way we could do it. Or say ‘please’ at the very least! And doesn’t she know church is Sunday morning?” I told her I would give the message to my husband. After all, he is the pastor. HE could tell her we’re not her taxi service.

Much to my surprise when he got home and I passed him the message he called Martha back and said he would be conducting services at that time but he would try to find someone who would be available. I asked him “Why are you doing that? She is so mean. We’re not her taxi service”. He just shrugged and said nothing.

Martha fell and broke her hip. She was in the rehab hospital for three weeks. She called the church one week before her release and DEMANDED we build her a wheelchair ramp. For free (she was on a very limited income). She demanded this be done within a week, so she would have it when she got home. I answered the phone on that one, too. I explained that my husband was in class all day and wouldn’t be home until late. Could he call her the next day to discuss this? Martha replied “NO. I need an answer NOW”. I said I was sorry but he could not be reached. She said “OK” and hung up on me. Then she called about 5 other people in the church. Who called me asking what to do. And I explained that I told her it would have to wait until the next day. And they rolled their eyes and said “That’s Martha”.

When Bryan got home that night he called her. He told her he wasn’t sure what could be done in the short timeframe, but he understood her need and would see what he could do. In one week he managed to stress over getting construction volunteers together and donations of supplies from various hardware stores. I asked him repeatedly “Why are you stressing out over it? Her expectations are absolutely atrocious!” He shrugged and said “it would be nice if it was there when she got home”. They didn’t quite make the deadline, but had it in the day after she got home.

Over the last two years Bryan has done many things for Martha. I never understood it. She was mean to him, rude to me and everyone else. Demanding. She insisted he bring her home communion when we had communion on the first Sunday of the month. He did, which irritated me because she COULD come to church to get it if she wanted, and she was the only one he brought it to so it was an inconvenience.

This last Monday Martha called again and I answered the phone again. The conversation went much like many of our others. I said “Hello” and she said “This is Martha. I want to know who will come pick me up from the hospital”. I said “Martha, Bryan is in teaching bible study right now and will be done in about 10 minutes. Can I have him call you?” She said “NO. I need to talk to him RIGHT NOW.” I suggested she call the church because that is where he was.

About 10 minutes later Bryan comes over to the house and tells me he is leaving to go get Martha. She apparently scraped her leg and needed stitches. Nothing serious, only four stitches. An ambulance took her to the hospital, but she needed a ride home. Again, I said “What is with her? She couldn’t ASK NICELY? And doesn’t she realize it’s 45 miles away. And we are using OUR gas and OUR car to do this? The least she could do is be NICE when asking for favors”. He smiled, chuckled, and said “Yea, she is pretty demanding, isn’t she?” I rolled my eyes. Off he went to get her.

Tuesday we went to Houston to deal with more house stuff. We got home yesterday (Wednesday) and there was a message from someone at the church on our machine. Martha had died suddenly in her house. Alone. She had called a woman whom she knew and said she wasn’t feeling well. The woman went to check on her and she was dead.

Bryan got the message and said “Oh, my God!” I mean, after all, he just saw her Monday and she was fine. He went on for a few minutes, doing other things. Then he sat in his chair and looked like he was reflecting. Finally he said to me “It’s amazing how God works. Just Monday when I picked Martha up we had a good talk. She actually thanked me for being nice to her. She said she wanted to come to church on Sunday to hear me preach”.

You see, Bryan is about 2 million steps ahead of me in his Christian walk. He saw an old woman who needed help. Who was difficult, but was a person with needs just like everyone else. Through his kindness he was ministering to her. Not in a lecture sort of way, but by example. How Christians SHOULD minister. And here I was “tisk, tisking” her because of her grumpiness and rudeness. I should know that the Golden rule doesn’t say “Do unto others…if they are nice”.

He is an amazing man. This is why HE is the minister and I am not. I am blessed that my daughter will have him as an example.

Feelings of inadequacy.

2005-04-26T09:57:00.000-05:00

I am having my first baby shower in two weeks, and the hosts requested we register at a couple of stores. So, my husband and I went to Toys R Us and Target to register for baby stuff.

I hope they kept their store cameras out of the baby section while we were in there. I can see several security personnell in their little dark rooms laughing uncontrollably at us. Let me give you the sinerio.

Imagine two well educated people. Standing. Staring with their mouthes open. Probably a little drool inconspicuously coming from the corner of their mouthes. With a little scanner thingie in their hands. Staring at a large wall of baby miscellaneous stuff.

I say "Where do we start?". He says "Well, lets tackle the little stuff and then the big stuff". I think his thought was the big stuff would be more difficult, so start small. Yea, right.

I did come armed with a few suggestions from friends and books, so I thought I was more prepared than I was. We headed down the isle to the large wall with thousands of miscellaneous baby stuff. OK, bottles first. I hear the angled neck is best. OK. What's this? Little air thingie at the bottom to prevent bubbles? It says it prevents colic. Mom still talks about me having colic. That can't be good. So, OK, we must go with the vent thingie. But do I need the little liners? If you have the liners then it would make the vent thingie obsolite, wouldn't it? And I plan to breastfeed mostly, but I do know I need bottles. He's gotta feed her every once in a while. Here are "nursing" bottles. What the hell is the difference? Oh, it really doesn't say. OK, lets skip that. Thermometers. Well, here's a temporal thermometer. It only takes a second. That's good. But it's fifty bucks. How about this ear one? Why is this ear one twenty dollars and this one thirty five? They look the same. This one says "especially for newborns". Does that mean I can't use it when she's six months? Why does it work better for newborns? OK. Skip that. On to the linens. This little stuff is too hard.

OK, linen section. Mattress pad. Definitely waterproof. Why would you pick anything else? This one looks nice and fluffy and comfy. Wait. I hear too many blankets and padding can cause SIDS. OK, not the fluffy one. Here's a nice flat one. It doesn't go down the sides of the mattress. Do they need to go down the sides? OK, this is too hard...onto the big stuff.

The big stuff went about the same way. We looked like we were practicing for our slapstick comedy act as we tried to figure out how to fold, put together, and convert car seats, strollers, and playpens. The one thing I was sure of was the Boppy, because Angie just told me emphatically I needed one. Got that on the list!

Oh, Lord, please help this poor child who was given to these very inadequate parents.

The only section we didn't have problems with was the toys. Yea, they were fun. Bryan wanted to register her for a darth vader mask. Sorry dear. I think it's obvious who THAT would be for. lol. He's such a geek. But he's a cute geek.

Question: This is the part I ask for baby advice and then go back to change the registry while I still can.

I'm such a REBEL

2005-04-26T09:49:00.000-05:00

I'm skipping CLASS today. I haven't done that in a while! OK, it's a 4-week cake decorating class, and today was supposed to be the last of the four. But because I've been so busy going back and forth to Houston I didn't have time to do my homework. The homework was making and frostening a cake to take to class to decorate, and making up the various frostings used to decorate the cake. Cake decorating is more time consuming than you would expect. I suppose I could have gone and just enjoyed the instruction and told them the dog ate my homework. How far fetched is THAT excuse in a cake decorating class?? What are they going to do, fail me? Hmmm, come to think of it, my mom paid my tuition (a whole $12.50). So, she may ask to see my report card when done. OH, well. I'll risk it.

Here is a picture of my first decorated cake ever:

My life has gotten quite simple of late, hasn't it?

Question: Did you ever ditch class as a kid?

My day with Angie....by Carol grade 27

2005-04-25T10:17:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I’ve been in Houston with Angela Marie from Rocks and Garbage and her mom the last couple of days. Actually, the trip there turned out quite convenient. I met with the realtor on Wednesday and looked at houses and BOUGHT ONE (more on that later) while Angie was having her procedure, which I was glad to hear turned out less painful than anticipated. Thursday and Friday we painted the town red (well, as much as a pregnant woman, a mom, and a grandma can:

Carol and Angie

Thursday morning I picked them up promptly at 10am. OK, I wasn’t so prompt, because I thought their hotel was a block further than it was. And there was construction, so I couldn’t turn around. So, I was about 15 minutes late. I called to inform them I would be a little late and her mom answered and asked me to please hurry because she was being tortured by yet another episode of Little House on the Prairie. I got there as fast as I could.

We headed out to Old Town Spring (We missed you Milkmaid!). It is a place with a bunch of old houses that were put together and made into girly-type shops. Candles, clothes, pottery, linens, dishes, you know. Girly Stuff. We met my mom, who happened to be in town, there. As we were waiting for mom Angie gave me a package with the cutest/neatest baby gifts! One of the first gifts Rachel had gotten!

We went into the shops and enjoyed seeing all the neat stuff. Angie bought chocolate that looked like pebbles for her children (so her 2 year old is probably going to start eating rocks thinking they are chocolate), and chocolate body paint for her hubby. I bought my hubby chocolate covered sunflower seeds. Please, no one tell him what Angie’s husband got. I hate to see him pout.

We ate at Wunchie Bros. for lunch. It’s a German restaurant in one of the old houses. I had a craving for sausage sauerkraut balls, so it was good we were there. We then went to a few more shops, including a nice pricy baby shop. They had an adorable canopy round crib for $998. Uh, temping, but no.

I then tortured Angie and our moms by taking them by my new house. It is vacant so I got to take them inside for the nickel tour. They did the obligatory oohs and ahhhs and that’s very nice’s so I wouldn’t keep them there any longer. Then we headed up to The Woodlands. We had a nice relaxing boat tour on the river walk.

We were the only ones on the boat and Cap’n Dave entertained us very nicely with corny jokes and small talk.

We had a drink and a cookie at the food court in the mall

said “goodbye” to my mom, and headed back to downtown Houston.

We ate dinner at Papasito’s. The BEST Tex-Mex place IMHO. They said they liked it. I think they were afraid to say otherwise, as we Texans tend to get offended if people don’t like our Tex-Mex. We all got full to the rim, and then I dropped them off at their hotel and went to my apartment for some sleep.

Friday I picked them up at 10:30am (more promptly than the day before) and we ate breakfast at the Kolache Factory.

It’s a Czech pastry if you’ve never had one, and Texas has a Czech population that sure knows how to make them. Then we headed over to the Houston Potter’s Guild shop so they could get pottery souvenirs. We then went to the Houston Natural Science Museum.

We quickly learned it was class trip day. As we wove through what seemed like thousands of second through fourth graders and tried not to step on them, we got tickets for the Museum, the IMAX, and the Butterfly exhibit.

We saw “Thrill Ride” in the IMAX. We felt like we were on roller coasters and learned how they make virtual thrill rides. It was a good one. We went into the museum next and had fun playing with the chemistry section. Angie and I are such Science geeks.

Angie was chased by a prehistoric animal,

and got caught,

but apparently she tastes bad because he spit her out.

After the museum we went to our individual resting places for an hour of relaxation. I used it to call the inspector to inspect my new house next week and the mortgage company. I hope they took naps. Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory at the Galleria for dinner. We once again got stuffed. We did each get cheesecake, but took them home because we couldn’t eat another bite. I brought mine with me and shared it with Bryan when I got home. Oh, and my new favorite cheesecake is Tuxedo. YUM!

I probably gained 50 pounds while Angie and her mom were here, as Houston is made up of pretty much shopping and eating, but we had a blast!

Birds and Bees

2005-04-18T13:04:00.000-05:00

This informative link is for Angie. She seemed very intreagued about the whole bird/sex thing I mentioned in my earlier post. And since I have nothing interesting to say these days I thought I would bore you again with some blubbering about birds and sex. Since Angie is so interested.

First, let me say that I think Angie is interested in this because she just had the birds and the bees talk with her son. It seemed to go well, unlike Adrienne, who had the same talk and it didn't quite come out right.

Anyway, why I said that I didn't get how birds have sex and I'm glad I'm not a bird, is birds just press up against eachother (the article says it much more scientifically) and transfer their "seeds" that way. Why would they want to do that? I mean, I accidentally leaned against someone at the grocery store. If I was a bird would that mean that I just had sex with that person? Especially since birds don't wear clothes. That could get very confusing if people did it that way. No one would know who to send their cards to on Father's Day.

Rumors in a small town.

2005-04-17T17:04:00.000-05:00

Oh, I'm going to miss this small East Texas town (Population 322). The chicken fried steak. The longhorn ranches. The 20 year old pickup trucks. The lazy summer days. The ability to leave my doors unlocked. But one thing I will miss the most is the RUMORS.

Rumors to a small east Texas town are like the oil industry to Houston. The town simply could not survive without them. The little restaurant here in town has a sign that says "You don't see much in a small town, but what you hear makes up for it". It is so true.

Now, the sign might be true, but the RUMORS are usually about as true as what's in the National Enquirer. And because my husband is the town minister we generally hear all the rumors. An example, you ask? (See? You want to hear the rumors, too!). Well, a few weeks ago someone called here at 10pm and told my husband that the church in the neighboring small town was on fire. He agreed to go check it out (10 miles away), even though by the time he was called we were sure someone had called the fire department already. Sure enough, he gets over there and it was just a ...RUMOR. The church was fine.

Another time someone called and said there was a rumor that one of our congregates had died. My husband quickly called the family to see what happened...(after all, he is usually the first one that people call when a family member dies). They were fine and had no idea where the rumor came from.

Some of the rumors ARE true, though. For example...we would get a lot of vegetables given to us in the spring and summer. So much so that, being it was just the two of us, we could not eat them before they spoiled. And we would tell people that. And they would still give them to us in bushels. I would freeze what I could, but our freezer only has so much room. So, one day we had to throw some green onions away. Someone FOUND them in our trash (I would like to know why they were snooping through our trash in the first place). And told someone. Who told the person who grows onions. Who came up to me and asked why we threw away their onions. Sigh.

OK, maybe I won’t miss the rumors.

Question: Were you ever the victim of a rumor that wasn’t true?

Pregnancy Glow....my ass.

2005-04-16T09:21:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been a bit sparse lately. I've been down in the Houston area looking at houses. I went last week and will be leaving Tuesday to look again this week. I just realized that I need to find a house this week because we need to move into the house in about a month. Yikes! I was sitting around with a ton of time two weeks ago and now I don't know how I'm going to get everything done.

I realized this week as I was looking through my schedule how posh my life is right now. I mean, two months ago when I was working I lost sleep over half a million dollar deals and highly technical research. My schedule consisted of meeting with influential business people and talking about genetic research. I would have 20 things to do and get 19 done. Now I stress when I can't find material to match another material. I'll have 5 things to do and get 2 done. It's rather funny, actually.

So, I thought I would share some random thoughts I've had this week.

1. Pregnancy glow. Everyone says I have it. I think it's just the sweat on the extra skin I have because I am so wide.

2. If you are trying to sell your house it helps if you at least CLEAN the place or VACUUME before showing it. Or at least get the 3 inches of mold off the shower stall. And clean the cat littlerbox so the house doesn't smell like cat pee. Just an idea.

3. Is "original copy" an oxymoron?

4. I'm gaining too much weight! I'm not gaining enough weight! I'm gaining too much weight! I'm not gaining enough! (I admit I'm a little irrational there)

5. Is my stomach bigger? I don't think my stomach is getting bigger...no wait...it's bigger. No, it's not! Maybe the baby isn't growing...yes she is... (this is a daily thought as I analyze my large stomach in a mirror in the morning)

6. I've heard how birds have sex, but I just don't see how that works. It seems complicated. I'm glad I'm not a bird.

7. Why is it developers of new neighborhoods completely tear down beautiful trees and then plant little sticks when the houses are up? I know a lot of trees don't survive the construction, but at least TRY. If they don't survive you can cut them down later. And established trees look so much nicer.

8. Nascar. I don't get it. I don't think anyone will ever be able to explain it to me either. It seems really dumb to me.

9. Maybe its the business background but people who are late really bug me. And people who don't come prepared really bug me, too. I don't care what it's for, important or not. If others are involved be courteous.

That's it. My brain is pretty simple these days.

Question: Feel free to take one or two (or five) of my random thoughts and expand on it. I'm too tired to do it right now.