Wow, I remembered my password.

Don't ask me why I ventured on here.  I hadn't been here in years and the last time I posted I noticed I ended with "I'll post again when I can think straight" or something like that.  Yea, almost 6 years later sounds about right.  Still not sure if I'm thinking straight.

Not that you asked, but if you are curious to sum up the last almost 6 years or so, Brayton is now 5 and Rachel is 7.  I went back to work in my old career as a biotechnology sales person.  We moved about 3 years ago when my husband was appointed to a small church in a small town in East Texas, where everyone knows everyone.  I worked at the biotech job for 5 years and last August quit to became a high school teacher.  The traveling was fun, but I had 8 states to manage.  The day I wasn't there when my son lost his first tooth was all I could handle.  I know, it was so small yet that one little thing was the straw that broke the camel's back, so they say.  I was looking into a masters program to teach Jr. College (maybe?) when a superintendent at a local school approached me.  They are very small and were desperate for a science teacher.   So, I agreed.  

Last January my husband and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. He is a great preacher and very enthusiastic about missions and ministry.  Rachel is a beautiful, red-headed, freckle-faced,  prim and proper little girl.  Makes straight A's in 2nd grade and does everything perfect.  Is definitely a pleaser. Brayton is all boy, loves to play sports,cuddle with his mom, reads, and is too smart for his own good.  He does well, but doesn't like kindergarten because it is "too much work".

If you are wondering if I like teaching, I do.  It is definitely different.  It's also the most frustrating profession out there, I am convinced.  I would say a large majority of the time I care more about the student's futures than they do about themselves.  Money motivates the curriculum and parents are absent more than present.  Or they're just tired.  "What do we need to do to get by" is a common theme and attitude.  But, with all that, I still like it.  The ounce of connection with one kid keeps you going.

I hope to pop in more often.  Off to visit my old friends, or the ones that are left, to say "hi".

He's Here!!

He's here! August 17th at 1:49 p.m. central time Brayton was born. 9 lbs. 8 oz. Happy and healthy!

Sorry my sleep-deprived brain is just posting this, but things went very well. Brayton is so very healthy. We are so blessed!!

The c-section went fine. Recovery is slow, which is driving me crazy, but it was definitely the best decision. Brayton had the umbilical cord around his neck twice, so if we had done the version procedure then it probably would have ended up in fetal distress and an emergency c-section a month early. Again, thank you God for watching over us there!

He is such a good baby. I didn't know any different with Rachel. My mom told me she was unusually fussy, and I knew her health problems caused her to be a little more fussy than average. But, now that I have a 'normal' baby I see just how difficult she was when she was first born. Now, I hope for Brayton that this isn't just the calm before the storm. LOL.

Rachel is getting used to her baby brother. She is so sweet and smart, and really sensitive to others feelings. So, when he cried for the first time it really upset her. But, she now just says "Brayton is noisy" and lets it roll off her back. She gives him hugs and kisses and mentions him when she mentions the rest of the family. It is so cute.

All is well. Sleep deprivation has kicked in (he is up every 2 hours at night!), but other than that, we're functioning!! Thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers. I'll update again when I can think straight!

Friday, August 17th is the day!

Well, I have a c-section scheduled for Friday. Think about me around 2 pm central time when I'm getting my guts cut open. Sounds appealing, doesn't it?

Oh, if he does a sommersault between now and then all bets are off. But, I'm losing hope on that. That's OK, I didn't want all that pain of labor, anyway. We'll try it the other way this time. I'll let you know which I recommend.

Wow, time flies!

My little girl turns two today!

It's quite amazing to me. Everyone told me when I was pregnant with her that she would grow up fast, to cherish every moment. I had no idea. I just HAD NO IDEA.

I had no idea about a lot of things. I didn't realize how my feelings would suddenly be so intense. That nothing else would really matter to me in life more than her. I just didn't "get it". Then she was born and it hit me light a bolt of lightning.

Oh, sure I knew I would love her. I loved the very idea of having her. I just didn't understand my non-emotional self could feel such things.

She amazes me every day! The way she smiles first thing in the morning. How darn smart she is. How cute she is. The way she hugs and kisses everything. The way she makes even the grumpiest of people smile. That's my favorite part.

I pray I never take the gift of her for granted. That would be the biggest sin of all.

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

With all that can happen, it's really amazing any of us are here.

A friend once said that. She probably doesn't even remember saying it, but it's a true statement. If you think about all the things that have to happen at the beginning, during, and end of a pregnancy it is quite amazing. God really thought that procedure through before he made it.


My unborn kidlet is breech. Frank breech. Which basically means his butt is at the bottom, head at the top, and his legs are straight and tucked up by his face. With just over 4 weeks to go that isn't good. At this point only 4% of babies are in the breech position. Crap.


What's bad about the frank breech position is that it's even harder for him to move. The doctor described it like trying to turn a bobby pin instead of a marble. Round is better.

I have to do exercises to try to get him to move. I go back in Monday, July 30th for another check. If he hasn't moved by Monday the doctor will give me 2 options.
1) keep doing the exercises and if he doesn't move by August 15th then schedule a c-section, or
2) come back Tuesday to do what they call a external cephalic version (ECV). It's done by the doctor applying pressure to the abdomen and manually manipulating the baby into a head-down position.

Unfortunately, the ECV only works about 50% of the time, and it isn't without risks, there's a chance the placenta could separate or a drop in the baby's heart rate, so they monitor the baby the whole time. The risks, I'm told, are rare, though. But I've also been told this procedure is quite painful. Oh boy.

To make matters worse, my doctor is going on vacation Wednesday next week (Aug 1-14th), so if I had complications from the ECV that night or the next day he won't be around. Darn doctors and their lives. How dare he have a family. lol.

Well, all I can do is pray he moves between now and Monday.

The drugstore

I was standing milling over the contact lens solution at our local drugstore last week trying to figure out if, being 8 months pregnant, I could bend down to get the bottle on the bottom shelf and actually get back up again. I reach to kneel, and suddenly I was approached by a very young looking fellow. Maybe 16 or so by my estimation, although I admit kids are starting to look younger and younger to me these days.

He asks "Ma'am, do you know where the pregnancy test kits are?" while his ears are turning a shade this side of beet red.

I look at him a second and say "Why, I look like I should, don't I?" Trying to bend back up.

I almost told him "they are over by the condoms", but then I realized at his age if he's looking for the pregnancy tests he probably hasn't a clue where the condoms are, either.

I replied "This way" and proceeded to lead him to the pregnancy test isle.

He said "Thanks". I start to walk away, then realize he just stood there. Staring. At the yeast infection medications. Now, I will give him this, the boxes are the same size and shape.

I went back and said "No, here they are", and pointed to three of them. He turned that familiar shade of red. Then I said "You might as well get a kit with two, it's cheaper than buying them individually, and no matter what the outcome she's going to want to test twice".

He said "Thanks". Then he said "Is this your first?" I said "No, second". He said "Oh. This will be my first".

Sigh. I hope it turned out the way he wanted.

The Life of a Preacher's Wife.

My husband, the kind man he is, thinks of me often. But, I will say, we've been married 14 years. So, the flowers and candy don't come nearly as often as when we were courting. Oh, he does do it occassionally. Maybe once a year for no reason. Twice if I'm particularly lucky. I'm not complaining, mind you.

I've been particularly whiny and grumpy lately. I haven't been sleeping well (gee, have I mentioned that before?). I ache. It's hot. Being 8 months pregnant in this humidity isn't a day at the park. Wait, maybe it is. Anyway, today, my smiling husband walked in with a basket of irises, red and white roses, and yellow mums. Irises are my favorite! I was so excited!

I think he saw the excitement on my face, because he immediately put out his hand like he was saying, "stop".

Then he says "They're left over from a funeral we had. The family didn't want them".

LOL. Well, it's the thought that counts.

A night in the life of...

Last night I was lying in bed sound asleep. The full moon shining through the arch in the window.

I suddenly feel *tap, tap, tap*. In my sleepy stupor I don't move.

Then I feel *shake, shake, shake*

I roll over rather irritated and say in a nasty tone "What??" to my husband.

Now, in my defense, sleep hasn't come easy lately. Eight months pregnant, I tend to get horrible hip aches, back aches, and I'm being made to sleep on my side. Something I dispise. Besides the fact that I wake up 3 or 4 times during the night to pee. I wasn't happy to be woken up for no apparent reason.

Then I hear "I love you".

In a tone equal to my "what?" I respond.."I love you, too". Humph.

And then he rolls back over.

Then I lie there awake for about 30 minutes irritated and cursing him in my thoughts for waking me.

He didn't remember a thing the next morning.

Just when you think the wart is gone

It's back.

I know, I fell off the face of the earth. I got overwhelmed. A little depressed, even, and blogging became a source of stress. I had nothing interesting to say (OK, I still don't). I can't really explain it. I really didn't think anyone would notice. But they did. And I am touched. But, now I'm back. A year and a half later. What can I say, nothing is on TV.

What have I been doing? Well, I'm pregnant again. So you can use your imagination there. Due August 25th. It's a boy! Rachel won't know what hit her. We're really excited, and this is the last one. A girl and a boy, the complete set, we're done. At least if we have our say. Everytime I say that, though, I think of my friend Angela Marie and am worried I jinx myself. Not that she isn't soooo completely blessed. But you know what I mean.

Other than that, It's the same 'ol, same 'ol here. I will post something more interesting later, when I have time. OK, no promises on the interesting part.

Weight Loss

OK, I'm getting serious about it. The diet, that is. I have no excuses. I have plenty of time to exercise. Rachel loves being in her stroller. Maybe if I make a public admission here then I'll follow through with it instead of falling off the bandwagon!

First let me get this off my chest (no pun intended!)...I'll admit the thing I will miss most is regular Coke. Not the diet or the anything else variety. I feel as a Coke drinker I've almost had to be "in the closet" so to speak. People judge you when you drink regular Coke. When you go out to eat and everyone is sitting around a table ordering their water or Diet Coke and you say "Coke" they look at you like "uh, oh. You forgot to say 'diet'". When I assure them I did not forget, they scoot their chairs a little further from me and pull their children a little closer.

Maybe I'll start a "Regular Coke" drinker's movement. I'll have "Regular Coke pride" parades and "Regular Coke" bars. Maybe there will even be a TV show where they'll have a "regular coke" drinking neighbor. People will talk to me about my Coke lifestyle and debate weather it is genetic or a choice.

It isn't the caffeine I'm addicted to. I drink the caffeine free stuff at home becuase I'm breastfeeding. I like the taste. I am normally not a sweets eating person, but I love Coke. Combine Coke with a box of Better Cheddars (I'll substitute goldfish in a pinch), and I'm in HEAVEN!

It is impossible to diet and drink regular Coke, though. Well, unless that is ALL you consume, pretty much. And that's irresponsible eating. I can't stand aspartame, so no Diet Coke for me. I'll be drinking water, which is best anyway.

I need to lose about 20 pounds. Wish me luck!

*does anyone know how to make the text go along side the image on the top? If I upload a Flickr photo it does it for me but if I "steal" (shhhh!) one from google images I don't know the code to position it. Thanks"

My hot topic.

Generally I avoid hot topics on my blog, mostly because this is a place for me to have fun and an outlet. If I post something controversial and there's a huge disagreement and people get hurt and people say hurtful things then it isn't a stress reliever for sure. This blog is "Smiles and Laughter" for a reason.

I'm going to sidestep my rule for just one time. It's my blog, I can do that. :) There's a topic I am pretty passionate about. I am also curious what the thinking is of those opposed to it.

Adoption. I just DON'T understand why it isn't more of an option, especially when someone is young. There are SO MANY people out there looking to adopt babies. I'm talking waiting lists of 2 years or more. People on these lists are often times two parent households who are professionals, maybe not rich, but secure.

I think it is very selfish of someone who is young (I'm talking teenage here) and single not to give their child up for adoption. I think it is also selfish of single grandparents to raise the child because they couldn't bare to see the child "given away". People say they chose to keep the child like it is a badge of honor for not "abandoning" him or her. I say what better way is there to honor a child than to allow a secure, mature two parent family who want a child so badly to raise him or her?

I understand that anything could happen to the family once the child has been adopted. The adoptive parents could become single parents due to death or divorce. However, at least there's a CHANCE there. If the baby was kept by the teenage single parent then the baby has no chance at all of having the influence of two parents.

I'm not talking economics. Economically you can make due. Babies are pretty cheap, actually. If you HAVE to you can use cloth diapers, and breastfeeding is free. You can get an entire nursery at Wal-Mart for less than $100. I'm talking maturity and stability. And by "stability" I mean emotional. It is HARD to raise a child. DAMN hard. I never knew how hard it was until I had one. It takes TWO people to keep eachother sane. It takes a lot of maturity and clear thinking, something that the most mature teenager doesn't have, especially if they are alone.

I admire the maturity of teen women and men for that matter who have considered not their own needs or wants, but what BEST suits the needs of the child and put him or her up for adoption.

I'm done with my vent. Thanks. Back to your regularly scheduled program.

Be Careful What You Wish For!

.

Mommyhood. I'm forever excited about the next step. You know, when they first come home and sleep all the time you want them to wake up. Then they WON'T sleep (as I've whined about) and you want them to sleep more. I couldn't wait until Rachel crawled, but now that she knows how to go backwards she is getting into everything. Well, at least I just have to be careful what is behind her for now. When she figures out how to go forward, though, watch out. The dog is in trouble.

Girls go to Jupiter to get a lot Stupider

Esmerelda was dumb. She didn't realize she was dumb until it was too late. After all, in elementary school and high school she made good grades. Her IQ score was 130. That's genious level everyone told her.

But Esmerelda did dumb things despite what the records revealed. She should have known she was dumb since there were signs from when she was a wee one. I guess Esmerelda was in denial. When she was about 5 she and her sister both had to go potty. Her sister beat her to the potty then told Esmerelda that mommy wouldn't mind if she went in the tub. So she did. And mommy DID mind. But Esmerelda was dumb so she believed her sister.

When Esmerelda was about 12 she was invited to a slumber party. They were playing truth or dare, a staple at 12 year old girl's slumber parties. When she was picked she chose "truth". She was asked if she was a virgin. She said "No". Of course all of the girls eyes got very wide and you could have heard a pin drop. Then Esmerelda said "Doesn't that mean you were born in September?"

Poor Esmerelda continued to do stupid things all her life. At flashing red lights she thought you were supposed to go only when it showed red. It took 10 minutes to get through an intersection with all of that stopping and starting. She never knew why people were honking at her. She thought Cheerios were Alphabits that someone had taken all the "good" letters out of. She thought "peep show" meant a play starring the Easter candy, and the word "oxymoron" meant someone with below average intelligence who had to live in a bubble.

When Esmerelda graduated from college she had to find a job. She put in resume after resume and had interview after interview. No one would hire her. Finally, she applied to be a cashier at a discount store. After the interview the interviewing supervisor was thrilled. After all, they aspire to hire people who look good on paper but are really as dumb as a brick. "We might even put her in one of our commercials" they said.

So Esmerelda took that job. And she made stupid comments to the customers, and made them mad. But the customers knew that was a part of shopping at the discount store, so they didn't mind. And Esmerelda was happy. And the supervisors were happy. And everyone lived happily ever after.

Question (this is as two parter): Are there days when you feel like Esmerelda? Have you run into any "Esmereldas" lately?

This is the Most Public of my Many Humiliations.

That quote, from Jackie Chiles, the Lawyer on Seinfeld, seems appropriate. Although I suppose it's probably not the most public. I've had far worse humiliations. But I also suppose it isn't the first time I will feel like an idiot when it comes to my kid.

We tried the sleep thing I mentioned below. It worked. In fact, it worked SO well, that the first night it took her 45 minutes to get to sleep, she woke up twice in the night and it took 45 minutes each time to get her to go back to sleep. That alone is a HUGE breakthrough. By the second night it took her 10 minutes to fall asleep and she woke up and fussed for 10 minutes once, but never cried so we didn't even have to go in there. Last night she fell asleep within 30 seconds and woke up in the night but never even fussed and fell back to sleep. Naps are great, too. She still wakes up at the 30 minute mark, as usual. But now she'll cry for maybe a minute then fall back to sleep. I feel like an idiot for fretting so much about this.

Now, in my defense, we DID try something very close to this method when she was about 4 months old, and it DID NOT work. My thinking is she just wasn't ready for it yet then. My assumption was if it didn't work then, it won't work now, and it will just traumatize the kid. Boy, was I wrong.

I think Weary Hag and my husband are right, I need to quit reading the books and do what I think is right. I fret to much.

Question: What is something you worried about, and it turned out to be nothing?