OK, this is offically now a mommy blog.

Rachel in purple
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

I tried not to go there, but it seems like this blog has turned into a Mommy Blog. Sorry.

I've been putting off blogging hoping for something to blog about that's a little more light hearted or fun. I mean, after a hard pregnancy, a baby in NICU for 11 days, acid reflux, and hurricanes I figured this blog needed it. But, alas, I have nothing. Instead, I will talk about the fact that Rachel needs surgery, because that's about all on my mind these days.

We went to the doctor because of crying that didn't seem to cease. Her tummy was bloated like a balloon, and very firm. It took the doctor little time to find the problem.

Poor little bugger has Anal Stenosis. If you google it, like I did, you will find out it is an unusual tightness in the anal sphincter. That means she can't pass gas or poop easily. Yes, my daughter is literally anal retentive. I knew she took after her daddy.

Treatment is usually the instertion of dialators "and in rare cases surgery". Of course, keeping with our theme of the year of bad luck, we are in the "rare case" category. She was so tight they couldn't even do a normal exam on her.

What's frustrating is she was diagnosed with this almost three weeks ago. They told me they would call to schedule the surgery in 5-7 days, maybe sooner because the doctor knew she was in pain every time she had gas or had to poop, so he requested the surgery be scheduled "ASAP".

Then, the hurricane came and everything in the Houston area came to a screeching halt. AND, to make matters worse, people from New Orleans have been transported to Houston hospitals, which have made the beds limited (not that they don't deserve good care, too, but you know what I mean). So, not only are people who HAD surgeries scheduled rescheduled, but the ones that didn't have them scheduled yet (us) were put off for a freakin TWO WEEKS.

So, here is Rachel, in pain most days until she has her poop. And working for hours pushing to poop. I'm talking sometimes 10 hours of grunting. And there's nothing I can do but call the freakin' pediatric surgeons office every day to beg them to schedule it. Finally yesterday they did. So, we get to have surgery on her butt in two weeks, on October 14th.

Hi from Rachel

Hi from Rachel
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

My mommy has been busy taking care of and playing with me, so I thought I'd let you know she'll post something soon when she can.

Update!

For some reason I couldn't get on here from my in-laws, so I came to my sisters and thought I'd post this. Thanks for all of your comments and well wishes!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know we made it out, and our house had no damage. The power was out for about 23 hours, but that's all. It was good for us that we were on the west side, not that I wish it on anyone else. Thank God Rita was no Katrina.

It took us a freakin' 12 hours to go 165 miles, though. That's an average of 14 mph! It was CRAZY. Rachel did well the first 10. The last 2 hours she screamed her head off. :) I would, too, if I was stuck in that seat for so long.

It seemed everyone was leaving Houston. We would go only about 6 miles in 3 hours at some spots. And of course a lot of the time there are no bathrooms for several miles, so people were having to go to the bathroom on the side of the road trying to shield themselves with their car door. They were also running out of gas and there was NO GAS ANYWHERE. All the stations were out, and a lot of gas stations were running out of food. Grocery stores were running out, too. It was crazy.

I'm still glad we left, because we're having record heat here. 108 degrees today! Hottest day in 5 years. So, if I was in a house with no air conditioning it would have been very uncomfortable. And Rachel I'm sure would have been uncomfortable.

Anyway, I'm waiting until Wednesday to go back. Hopefully I'll make it back in the normal 2.5 hours instead of 12 again.

Oh, the fun.

Being in Houston, and being Hurricane Rita is headed this way, we're bugging out. Oh the fun!

We're on the North side of Houston, so it isn't like we're on the coast, but we are at risk of losing electricity, extremely high winds, and possibly no water. And of course lots of rain. Being I have a newborn I didn't want to get stuck for who knows how long and not have necessities. So, we're headed to the in-laws in Waco, which is about 200 miles or so.

I'll check in when we come back!

Dogs and Babies

My little mutt Casey was my only "baby" before Rachel was born, so it is safe to say we were a little concerned how this spoiled 15 pound mutt would react to a new "sister". At first she wouldn't come within 10 feet of her. Then after a few weeks she would come and sniff her briefly but would quickly leave. Then she would come up, sniff, and stay a while.

I was sitting on the sofa the other day, Rachel's head in my lap and her butt on the sofa. Casey, my little mutt, usually sits to the right of me on the sofa, where Rachels legs were. Casey jumped on the sofa, sniffs Rachel's legs and starts to take her nose and flick her blanket on her legs. She must have spent a full 5 minutes trying to cover her, and actually successfully did. It was rather interesting to watch. Since I took Animal Behavior in college and never really used it, I figured I'd humor myself by saying I'm using it here and she's now becoming "motherly".

So I figure (I'm into multiple choice these days):
A) My animal behavior class was worth the money and I accurately protrayed Casey as mothering Rachel because in the wild the Alpha dog has all the puppies and the other members of the pack help her raise them.
B) Her diaper was dirty and Casey didn't want to smell it anymore so she was trying to bury it.
C) She is actually in a jealous rage and was trying to smother her.

I prefer to think "A".

What would you do...

If you accidentally used your husband's brand new $15 toothbrush because you were so sleep deprived and your contacts were dry so you didn't see the "blue for boy" color on the toothbrush and mistook it as the "white for girl" one which is yours? Would you:

A) Tell him so he can decide if he wants a new one
B) Not tell him figuring you've shared a lot worse that THAT and he won't miss anything if he is none the wiser
c) Write it on your blog in the off chance that he might actually read it, which he rarely does, but by then it will have been too late because he will have brushed his teeth with it. So that will probably make him keep it.

Oh, decisions, decisions.

The Learning Curve

My husband is a smart man. He graduated Magna Cum Laude with a Masters degree. Generally if he plays a trivia game with someone he wins. If I want to know who wrote some obscure 70's music or who the leader of Luxemburg is I generally don't bother to go to the internet. I ask my hubby.

Now that I've qualified what I'm about to say (hi, honey!), I'll tell you about my husband and his beginner daddyness. He has never, ever been around a baby before ours. I've already mentioned the backward diaper. I actually managed not to laugh hysterically when I realized it was on backward. Oh, it's not that I didn't want to, but I could tell he felt a little stupid. I couldn't rub it in. Honestly, I can tell he feels really bad that he isn't more experienced at this. He admits the learning curve is great here.

The other day on a Saturday he was up just a bit before me. Rachel sleeps in her cradle beside our bed. He walked into the bedroom as we both were just waking. Her diaper needed to be changed because she just woke up, so I asked him to do it. After all, he needs the experience. He gladly said he would. He took her into her room, which is across the hall from ours. I laid in bed trying to wake up.

I heard: Rustle, Rustle, Rustle....Then I hear Bryan say: "Oh, crap!"....then more Rustling....

I think..."should I go in to see what's going on?" Then I think "No, he needs to learn. One of these days I'll be leaving her alone with him. He'll figure it out".

Then I hear "Oh, geez!"...rustle....drawers being pulled out.....rustle....

I start to put one foot on the floor then stop myself. "No, he is a capable man. He can figure it out" I think.

After what seems like eternity he comes into the bedroom smiling, with Rachel in a new outfit, and says to Rachel "Here's mommy Rachel!" and tells me she is ready to eat.

I take her and realize her head is wet. Her HEAD is wet? What the.....

I ask "Uh, dear? Why is her head wet?"

He Says "Well, she started to pee when I took her diaper off and I tried to keep her out of it, but it wasn't easy to move her as she was peeing, so she got a little on her. That's why I changed her outfit."

Uh, OK. I opened my mouth to ask how the pee managed to get on her HEAD, but thought better of it. I decided I didn't want to know. I got up and drew her bath water.

Prevacid sticks to boobs

The pediatritian knows I'm a new mom. She didn't have to ask if Rachel had a sibling at home. Maybe it was the question "Are all babies legs crooked like hers?", or perhaps "Is it normal for her to have that many folds on her neck?". Or perhaps the urgent statement "Please look at this rash on the back of her head, is she sick?" only to be told it's a birthmark. Or it could be the mere volume of questions I was asking. Or perhaps the fact that I called the nurse more than my fair share of times asking questions.

They probably think I'm bad, but they should see her father. When he changed her diaper the first time he put it on BACKWARDS. (I'm not kidding). I'm happy to say he is getting the hang of it now, though.

Rachel had acid reflux really bad. The pediatritian gave her Zantac in liquid form, which didn't work at all. Finally, after about 10 days I called the nurse (who knows my voice now, btw) because I couldn't stand to see her in pain anymore. They changed her medicine to Prevacid, which is working wonders. (Thank GOD!)

The only problem...Prevacid is not in liquid form, only capsule. So, I was faced with the task of getting a capsule down a 5 week old baby. This is not an easy task. And to make matters worse those pills are EXPENSIVE. So, if I lost some it would cost me.

She is supposed to get half a capsule, so I opened it and spilled the tiny beads from inside the capsule on aluminum foil. I thought I would put it on the foil and separate it into two separate but equal piles with a knife. You can tell I'm not a drug dealer/user simply by the fact I wasn't smart enough to realize that when aluminum foil has little beady things on it and you scrape a knife on it, it krinkles and the beads go shooting across the room. Ok, lost a few beads there.

Plan two. I've seen enough TV to know how the drug users do it. I needed a razorblade and something that doesn't krinkle and shoot things across the room. I opted for the cupboard instead of the foil, and I didn't have a razor so I went for a sharp knife. Getting the beads on the counter was fun. Beads roll. I think I probably should have learned that in Kindergarten. I must have been absent that day. I lost a few beads here, too.

Then once I lassoed them back in a pile and separated them into two piles I had to get them into a container. I didn't think about that before the counter idea. I held a little plastic cup at the end of the counter and brushed them in. One cup for each pile. I lost a few on the floor.

OK, now how do I get them into the baby's mouth? A syringe with milk sounds logical. Except the beads didn't want to suck into the syringe very well. I managed to get them sucked in and milk, too. I went to squirt it in her mouth. The beads stuck to the bottom of the plunger. The milk went nicely into the baby's mouth. Sigh. I lost all of the beads.

OK, so that didn't work. On to another dose. How about I stick a few of the beads to my breast and shove it in her mouth for breastfeeding. Ingenious you say? Well, I thought so. Until I realized that Prevacid beads stick to boobs better than they stick to tounges. When she unlatched they were still there, firmly attached to my breast.

I scraped them off my breast and put them back into the container, which wasn't an easy task because, as we learned, wet Prevacid beads stick to everything. Babies chins, fingers, clothing, the chair.

Finally, a revelation. If it sticks to everything, it must stick to fingers! I pressed my finger in the pile of beads and, wallah! They stuck. I waited for her to open her mouth (She'll probably get smart and never yawn again), stuck my finger in there, wiped it on her tounge, and they stayed! Then, I put my breast in for her to drink. Obviously I'm not a fast learner. THey stuck to my breast. I scraped them off again.

We repeated the process, this time with a BOTTLE of breastmilk, and, luckily, Prevacid beads do not stick to plastic nipples, only real ones. She would drool a bit and I had to scrape them off her cheek, folds of her neck, her shirt, and put them back in, but I think I got most of them.

Lucky us, we get to do this every night.

My New Boss

Rachel Smiling
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

My new boss is only 10 pounds, yet she is full of demands. I came into this job with no training, not even a manual. She didn't bother to train me, yet she expects me to know everything. She has very demanding deadlines, and if I do not meet the deadline she screams at me. Loudly. And she doesn't care who she is around when she does it. I can only take bathroom breaks when it is convenient for HER schedule. Often there are days where I can't even take care of the simplest in personal hygene for myself because of her demands. She insists I work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and won't allow me any time for anything else. Often there are days I'm working so hard I don't even stop to eat! And to think I signed a lifetime contract for this job!

Why do I do it? I'm addicted to the bonuses!

P.S. Thanks for all the votes on which was the better picture. I liked the smiley one above, but Bryan liked the one with her eyes open. Your votes allowed me to have the one I wanted on the announcements! :)

Sadness

I don't have much to add about Hurricane Katrina that hasn't already been said, but I feel I must comment. The devastation and the sadness is something that I think this country has not experienced in a very long time. Going days without eating, proper sewage, water, shelter is not something people generally have to worry about here. Yet, we are faced with it by the thousands now. If only we were somewhat prepared for this. We had no clue it would even be remotely this bad. They didn't the levys would break. Yea, "they" were wrong. Now we're faced with saving and moving hundreds of thousands of people.

Living in Houston we are seeing a lot of the evacuees. Among many other things, our church is providing shelter and food for some, and we are volunteering shifts to serve food to those in the Astrodome as well. Because of this we get to hear stories up close and personal. Each person has a story, and there are thousands of stories, and each story is gut wrenching.

I went for my followup doctors visit a couple of days ago and a woman was there who was about to give birth. She had just evacuated and was sure she didn't have a home to go to. I guess that particular story hit home with me, having a newborn myself. I can't imagine giving birth and dealing with those stresses, and also not knowing how you are going to provide a home for the little one.

I am sickened by the looters who are taking big screen TV's (saw one right on TV like he didn't care who saw him), GUNS, computers, and other non-essentials. People are STARVING and these idiots are trying to make out on this disaster. Disgusting.

Also, perhaps we should spend less time ranting about how things aren't being done fast enough, good enough, and more time actually doing things. If each person who has ranted spent that time instead putting together a health kit or flood bucket it would go a lot farther. We need positive energy here.

Please do what you can for these people. And please pray. I know you already are.

Congrats in order

Rainypete just had a little one of his own! Go on over and congratulate him. He is now a member of the no-sleep club.

Opinions Please!

Trying to get a picture for her announcements. Bryan and I can't seem to agree. So, which picture do you think is best??

LA Story

The movie "LA Story" with Steve Martin has an excellent scene that I relate to very well.. The scene has Steve Martin speaking to God. He says something like (I haven't seen this movie since the 80's, so forgive my loose quotation) "God, if you want me to do this then give me a sign". Lights start flickering, lighting strikes, the ground moves, and Steve Martin continues "Any sign, God. I'll take any sign".

Sometimes I think this is the story of my life.

Grounds for Divorce

I love people with a sense of humor. I think, though, if my husband did this to me I would contemplate divorce.

My sister's boss is hilarious. He is married and has a three year old son. He told his three year old to go up to mommy and tell her "I see dead people". And the son did. And his wife screamed.

Pondering Life

Angela Marie had a post that is really thought provoking. An aquaintance of hers from high school has breast cancer and may or may not make it. And to make matters worse she feels like her life wasn't worth much.

This is incredibly sad to me. I can't imagine feeling this way. It makes me think and ponder my own life, too, and appreciate the blessings I've been given. If I died today would I think I had a good life? You betcha. I had a great career, I've traveled what I consider a lot, more importantly I've taken opportunities to help others, and most importantly I have a husband and a daughter for which I would give up anything. I've had a few rough patches in my life. Without getting into details, my pre-teen and teenage years weren't the greatest. There were some ugly things I've had to deal with. And, I always had to work hard for everything I've gotten. But I think those things just make you stronger - if you let them.

I completely believe life is what you make it. Yes, life can hand you lemons. But, it is your responsiblility to make lemonade. I know some people get more lemons than others. But I also believe God only gives you what he thinks you can handle. Your true character shows in how you handle it.

I will admit this...I've been mad at God before. I've blamed Him for things. When I was a teenager I thought God just didn't care about me. That I was just "here". No one cared about me but ME. When we went through 5 years of infertility issues I wanted God to tell me why he was "punishing" me. But you know what? I now know he wasn't punishing me at all. It was all in His time. And I also know he was there helping me through the teenage years. I just didn't know it THEN.

I hope Angie's aquaintance finds healing before it is too late.

Technology...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I must admit I love technology. Well, some of it. When it works, it's great. I'm usually behind the times when it comes to electronics. I put off getting a cell phone until my work made me do it. Then once I had one I was addicted. Except I refuse to chat while I'm at the grocery store or in the doctor's waiting room, but I did use it often back in the days when I actually got out of the house.

Anyway, technology is great when you have a baby, too. We got a video camera a year ago and the other night hubby figured out how to transfer the videos onto the internet and burn them to a DVD. Big deal, you say? For the technologically challenged we thought we were geniouses. Of course, we won't tell anyone that it took 4 hours to figure out how to do it.

Technology is bad, though, in some hands. When we had Rachel we had her in a hospital at the Medical Center in Houston. The Medical Center is in downtown Houston and is not in the best part of town. In fact, my uncle was visiting someone at MD Anderson Cancer Center and got held up at gunpoint as he was getting his suitcase out of the trunk of his car. My parents are rather naive folk. They get nervous when they drive in town. Not necessarily the bad part of town, they just don't drive in the city much. They're more of a suburb or small town type.

So, you're asking what this has to do with technology being bad? Well, as I was saying, when Rachel was born the hospital was in downtown Houston. My folks came to the hospital so they could be there when she was born. It was a long day for everyone and they left the hospital at about 10 p.m. Not knowing downtown that well, and getting a bit turned around, they made a wrong turn and actually ened up on a street they weren't supposed to be on. And, to top it off the street was under construction, so they ened up in a traffic jam. AND, to top THAT off, the were behind an SUV. The SUV had one of those DVD player thingies. Have you ever been behind one of those in traffic? You can watch whatever they are watching. Usually it is a disney flick or something of the "G" rating. However, my naive parents weren't that lucky. They got behind an SUV that had a DVD of porn.

So, here they are, stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of downtown Houston, at 10 p.m. and they are behind an SUV that is playing porn. And it is right in front of them and they can't move either way. Dad said he had an "educational experience" and had a hard time keeping his eyes on the road.

They laughed about it forever, but I keep thinking how awkward that would be if you weren't with the right person. My luck I'd get stuck behind a vehicle playing porn when I had my boss in the car with me or something.

I Couldn't Resist

rachel laying
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

Just for the awe factor here is another picture...I couldn't help it.

Things I've learned in the 9 day's I've been responsible for this tiny little precious thing:

1. An 8 pound human being makes 7 times more laundry than the average human being

2. A smile never gets old

3. Two AM looks very differently when you are awakened from sleeping instead of just going to bed. So is Three AM and Four AM.

4. An 8 pound human being can poop their own body weight in a day (or so it seems).

5. The lung capacity of an 8 pound human being while crying is equivalent to a wild elephant.

Oh, lets see...what will the next week bring??

Rachel and her doggie

Ahh, the birth story. Men, children and squeemish women, you can just ooh and ahh at the picture and go now. It's not for the weak stomached individual.

Seriously, my labor went well. That's about all in the pregnancy that went well, it seemed. And DURING the labor I would have told you otherwise.

At my 35 week ultrasound that they did because of the gestational diabetes, they determined that my amniotic fluid was a little borderline low. That was weird because a side effect of the diabetes is HIGH amniotic fluid, but they told me to take it easy and drink plenty of fluids and they would monitor it. No problem. So, the following week, at 36 weeks, I went in for my regular checkup. She did another ultrasound to monitor the fluid levels, and lo and behold it was dangerously low at that point. The doctor was perplexed because of the aforementioned diabetes reason, but she said the baby needs to come out immediately, that it was no longer a safe environment for her. She told me she would do an "emergency" induction the next day.

I learned that "emergency" meant if not so many people went into spontaneous labor that they could fit me in they would induce me the next day. If not, then the following day. If not then definitely the following. So, I had to call that night to see if they had room for me. 5pm, no they don't have room. 7 pm no room at the inn. 9 pm, not even a manger. 10:30 pm, c'mon in! So, we zoomed down to the hospital, which was about 45 minutes away.

They put the medicine in my cervix to make me dialate, as I hadn't budged yet. Oh, what is that stuff called? Anyway, Bryan slept on the sofa and I slept on the very uncomfortable labor bed. I say "slept". Who the hell can sleep when they know they will be giving birth in a few hours? I should have taken the sleeping pill they offered, but I hate medicine. So, I was on about two hours sleep the next day.

I had only dialated 1 cm when they gave me the IV for the induction at 7 am. The morning went well. I thought "Hey! This is a piece of cake!" No medication. I was fine. Cramping, but, hey, I could handle it! What are these wimpy women whining about?

THEN AT 12:30PM THEY BROKE MY WATER.

Owch. That's all I have to say. I had only dialated 2 cm at that point, so I couldn't get the epidural. I had mentioned I would "see how it went" in the pain department on arrival at the hospital when asked if I would like an epidural. However, after the contractions were ripping my intestines out (or so I thought) I decided needles weren't so bad. But then the hosptial staff taunted me by saying I couldn't have one because the doctor wouldn't let me have it until I was 3 cm.

What's worse is the doctor wouldn't let the nurse check my cervix until 3 pm. She said she didn't want to risk infection. At 3 pm I was only a freakin' (not the word I was thinking in my head at the time) 2.5 cm dialated. I was begging for drugs. They said no. My husband and the nurse started chatting about what was on TV and politics and religion and many other things I didn't care about at that time. In my own little pain induced world I was strangling them. But all I could muster out was a "I'm fine. Are you SURE you can't just take a peek at my cervix?" when asked.

When the nurse told the doctor I had only dialated 2.5 cm at 3pm, she told her she couldn't check me again until 6 freakin' PM. At 4:30 I begged. I mean BEGGED the nurse to check. She said she would. If I was dialated more we would let the doctor know. If I wasn't, it would be our little secret. That was a deal I would have sold my own mother for.

At 4:30 was dialated to 5 cm. She called the doctor. The doctor said we could do the epidural. YAY! Relief on the way! What seemed like eternity and several short and incomprehensable to anyone but me comments to my husband later, which turned out to be about 30 minutes, the epidural came. By 5:15 I had it. But it did nothing. I still felt pain. I asked the nurse if I was supposed to feel pain still. She said no. I said I did. She called the anesthesiologist back. He came at 5:45 PM and increased the medicine. Ahhhh. All was better. I got my wits about me again. I felt like I could think, like I could actually enjoy the moment.

Just after the increased dosage at 5:45 the nurse checked my cervix. 9 cm! At 6 pm she had me push. All I saw was a huge flood of blood squirt right for the nurse. She said "Hold on! Don't Push!" She called for the doctor, who was there by 6:15 PM. Rachel was out just a few pushes later at 6:31 PM.

I think I should get credit for having her naturally since I only got 45 minutes of pain releif. LOL. But I'm thankful that I only pushed for 30 minutes. The doctor told me I better not tell my girlfriends that I only pushed that long or they'll hate me. I'll risk it.

I got to hold Rachel for about 30 mintues when she was first born. Then, she turned blue, and the rest you've been reading the last couple of weeks.

Now that I'm home I can't believe she is mine. I know I went through the labor, but God actually entrusted me with this fragile thing? He has to be crazy! :)

Breastfeeding (men, turn away if you don't want to recognize the functionality of breasts. It does kind of ruin it.) is a challenge because she was spoiled with a lazy bottle at the NICU. I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of sweat and tears before we get that down, but I'm determined. She latches, but her jaw gets tired. We're working on it. Meanwhile I'm pumping, and bottle supplementing, too.

Anyway, that's the whole ugly story in a nutshell. Ugly story, but isn't she THE MOST beautiful thing you've ever seen??? :)

Just got home with Rachel a couple of hours ago!! Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers. It truly was comforting and meant a lot. She improved every day and she has been stable on her oxygen without help for the last several days, and she has been eating well, so she was released! We are so happy!!

Now, it is time to figure this baby thing out. I thought this kid would come with an owner's manual! :)

Just wanted to quickly post to let everyone know. As soon as things settle down I'll visit your blogs, post pictures, the birth story, and then (since you are probably tired of hearing all this baby stuff!) on to your regularly scheduled blog.

Thanks again!!!!

Thanks everyone for your comments, thoughts, and prayers. I have read every one and the support means so much to me. I want to get to each of your blogs to say so individually, and will eventually. Right now, though, just popping in to let you know she is doing much better! Slowly improving and things are looking positive. They gave her four doses of surfactants and she seems now to be breathing on her own with the ventilator's help (they slowly turn it down). They are even talking about taking the ventilator out either tomorrow or the next day, which is great news! Her mommy and daddy are anxious, but we know it is best she stay in the ICU as long as she needs to.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.