Wednesday, July 13, 2005

How the world suddenly revolves around you.

I feel so self absorbed now that I'm pregnant. Hey, it's not my fault. It just seems like whenever I go anywhere the subject suddenly turns to my large tummy. Even if I walk into a conversation and it is something that sounds interesting, they automatically change it to my stomach and the soon-to-come festivities when I come in.

Then it starts going to your head. You know, that the world DOES revolve around you. I have mentioned before that I'm having a horrible time with feet swelling. To the point that none of my shoes fit. And, unfortunately, this 5'11" frame wears a size 11 shoe. So, it isn't exactly EASY to just go out and get a size 12.

The other day I couldn't fit into my shoes anymore, so Hubby and I went to the shoe store, with my unbuckled sandals, hoping to find some new ones. As I walk into the store three customers and a clerk practically in unison say "OH, look at her poor swollen feet!" "OK," I think, "They are really in tune with feet here, being it's a SHOE store. I'm not THAT freaky". I say something lame like "Yea" and go off to find the shoes. They don't carry 12's. They barely carry 11's.

So, off to another store..same thing. And another, same thing.

So, I'm feeling large, and the shoe stores are rubbing it in that I AM large. I studdenly started BAWLING (In the car, not in the store, thank God). Which is completely unlike me.

Hubby at first said "What's wrong?". OK, how do you explain that you are bawling because you can't wear shoes and you feel HUGE and like a freak? Especially when the reasons are for such precious ones like you have a BABY COOKING in there? What a stupid reason to cry. But, being the world revolves around ME now, it seemed logical at the time.

I just shook my head. Bryan was smart enough to let it go and leave me alone until I gathered my exposure. And then we moved on like nothing happened.

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