Congrats in order

Rainypete just had a little one of his own! Go on over and congratulate him. He is now a member of the no-sleep club.

Opinions Please!

Trying to get a picture for her announcements. Bryan and I can't seem to agree. So, which picture do you think is best??

LA Story

The movie "LA Story" with Steve Martin has an excellent scene that I relate to very well.. The scene has Steve Martin speaking to God. He says something like (I haven't seen this movie since the 80's, so forgive my loose quotation) "God, if you want me to do this then give me a sign". Lights start flickering, lighting strikes, the ground moves, and Steve Martin continues "Any sign, God. I'll take any sign".

Sometimes I think this is the story of my life.

Grounds for Divorce

I love people with a sense of humor. I think, though, if my husband did this to me I would contemplate divorce.

My sister's boss is hilarious. He is married and has a three year old son. He told his three year old to go up to mommy and tell her "I see dead people". And the son did. And his wife screamed.

Pondering Life

Angela Marie had a post that is really thought provoking. An aquaintance of hers from high school has breast cancer and may or may not make it. And to make matters worse she feels like her life wasn't worth much.

This is incredibly sad to me. I can't imagine feeling this way. It makes me think and ponder my own life, too, and appreciate the blessings I've been given. If I died today would I think I had a good life? You betcha. I had a great career, I've traveled what I consider a lot, more importantly I've taken opportunities to help others, and most importantly I have a husband and a daughter for which I would give up anything. I've had a few rough patches in my life. Without getting into details, my pre-teen and teenage years weren't the greatest. There were some ugly things I've had to deal with. And, I always had to work hard for everything I've gotten. But I think those things just make you stronger - if you let them.

I completely believe life is what you make it. Yes, life can hand you lemons. But, it is your responsiblility to make lemonade. I know some people get more lemons than others. But I also believe God only gives you what he thinks you can handle. Your true character shows in how you handle it.

I will admit this...I've been mad at God before. I've blamed Him for things. When I was a teenager I thought God just didn't care about me. That I was just "here". No one cared about me but ME. When we went through 5 years of infertility issues I wanted God to tell me why he was "punishing" me. But you know what? I now know he wasn't punishing me at all. It was all in His time. And I also know he was there helping me through the teenage years. I just didn't know it THEN.

I hope Angie's aquaintance finds healing before it is too late.

Technology...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I must admit I love technology. Well, some of it. When it works, it's great. I'm usually behind the times when it comes to electronics. I put off getting a cell phone until my work made me do it. Then once I had one I was addicted. Except I refuse to chat while I'm at the grocery store or in the doctor's waiting room, but I did use it often back in the days when I actually got out of the house.

Anyway, technology is great when you have a baby, too. We got a video camera a year ago and the other night hubby figured out how to transfer the videos onto the internet and burn them to a DVD. Big deal, you say? For the technologically challenged we thought we were geniouses. Of course, we won't tell anyone that it took 4 hours to figure out how to do it.

Technology is bad, though, in some hands. When we had Rachel we had her in a hospital at the Medical Center in Houston. The Medical Center is in downtown Houston and is not in the best part of town. In fact, my uncle was visiting someone at MD Anderson Cancer Center and got held up at gunpoint as he was getting his suitcase out of the trunk of his car. My parents are rather naive folk. They get nervous when they drive in town. Not necessarily the bad part of town, they just don't drive in the city much. They're more of a suburb or small town type.

So, you're asking what this has to do with technology being bad? Well, as I was saying, when Rachel was born the hospital was in downtown Houston. My folks came to the hospital so they could be there when she was born. It was a long day for everyone and they left the hospital at about 10 p.m. Not knowing downtown that well, and getting a bit turned around, they made a wrong turn and actually ened up on a street they weren't supposed to be on. And, to top it off the street was under construction, so they ened up in a traffic jam. AND, to top THAT off, the were behind an SUV. The SUV had one of those DVD player thingies. Have you ever been behind one of those in traffic? You can watch whatever they are watching. Usually it is a disney flick or something of the "G" rating. However, my naive parents weren't that lucky. They got behind an SUV that had a DVD of porn.

So, here they are, stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of downtown Houston, at 10 p.m. and they are behind an SUV that is playing porn. And it is right in front of them and they can't move either way. Dad said he had an "educational experience" and had a hard time keeping his eyes on the road.

They laughed about it forever, but I keep thinking how awkward that would be if you weren't with the right person. My luck I'd get stuck behind a vehicle playing porn when I had my boss in the car with me or something.

I Couldn't Resist

rachel laying
Originally uploaded by Carol H.

Just for the awe factor here is another picture...I couldn't help it.

Things I've learned in the 9 day's I've been responsible for this tiny little precious thing:

1. An 8 pound human being makes 7 times more laundry than the average human being

2. A smile never gets old

3. Two AM looks very differently when you are awakened from sleeping instead of just going to bed. So is Three AM and Four AM.

4. An 8 pound human being can poop their own body weight in a day (or so it seems).

5. The lung capacity of an 8 pound human being while crying is equivalent to a wild elephant.

Oh, lets see...what will the next week bring??

Rachel and her doggie

Ahh, the birth story. Men, children and squeemish women, you can just ooh and ahh at the picture and go now. It's not for the weak stomached individual.

Seriously, my labor went well. That's about all in the pregnancy that went well, it seemed. And DURING the labor I would have told you otherwise.

At my 35 week ultrasound that they did because of the gestational diabetes, they determined that my amniotic fluid was a little borderline low. That was weird because a side effect of the diabetes is HIGH amniotic fluid, but they told me to take it easy and drink plenty of fluids and they would monitor it. No problem. So, the following week, at 36 weeks, I went in for my regular checkup. She did another ultrasound to monitor the fluid levels, and lo and behold it was dangerously low at that point. The doctor was perplexed because of the aforementioned diabetes reason, but she said the baby needs to come out immediately, that it was no longer a safe environment for her. She told me she would do an "emergency" induction the next day.

I learned that "emergency" meant if not so many people went into spontaneous labor that they could fit me in they would induce me the next day. If not, then the following day. If not then definitely the following. So, I had to call that night to see if they had room for me. 5pm, no they don't have room. 7 pm no room at the inn. 9 pm, not even a manger. 10:30 pm, c'mon in! So, we zoomed down to the hospital, which was about 45 minutes away.

They put the medicine in my cervix to make me dialate, as I hadn't budged yet. Oh, what is that stuff called? Anyway, Bryan slept on the sofa and I slept on the very uncomfortable labor bed. I say "slept". Who the hell can sleep when they know they will be giving birth in a few hours? I should have taken the sleeping pill they offered, but I hate medicine. So, I was on about two hours sleep the next day.

I had only dialated 1 cm when they gave me the IV for the induction at 7 am. The morning went well. I thought "Hey! This is a piece of cake!" No medication. I was fine. Cramping, but, hey, I could handle it! What are these wimpy women whining about?

THEN AT 12:30PM THEY BROKE MY WATER.

Owch. That's all I have to say. I had only dialated 2 cm at that point, so I couldn't get the epidural. I had mentioned I would "see how it went" in the pain department on arrival at the hospital when asked if I would like an epidural. However, after the contractions were ripping my intestines out (or so I thought) I decided needles weren't so bad. But then the hosptial staff taunted me by saying I couldn't have one because the doctor wouldn't let me have it until I was 3 cm.

What's worse is the doctor wouldn't let the nurse check my cervix until 3 pm. She said she didn't want to risk infection. At 3 pm I was only a freakin' (not the word I was thinking in my head at the time) 2.5 cm dialated. I was begging for drugs. They said no. My husband and the nurse started chatting about what was on TV and politics and religion and many other things I didn't care about at that time. In my own little pain induced world I was strangling them. But all I could muster out was a "I'm fine. Are you SURE you can't just take a peek at my cervix?" when asked.

When the nurse told the doctor I had only dialated 2.5 cm at 3pm, she told her she couldn't check me again until 6 freakin' PM. At 4:30 I begged. I mean BEGGED the nurse to check. She said she would. If I was dialated more we would let the doctor know. If I wasn't, it would be our little secret. That was a deal I would have sold my own mother for.

At 4:30 was dialated to 5 cm. She called the doctor. The doctor said we could do the epidural. YAY! Relief on the way! What seemed like eternity and several short and incomprehensable to anyone but me comments to my husband later, which turned out to be about 30 minutes, the epidural came. By 5:15 I had it. But it did nothing. I still felt pain. I asked the nurse if I was supposed to feel pain still. She said no. I said I did. She called the anesthesiologist back. He came at 5:45 PM and increased the medicine. Ahhhh. All was better. I got my wits about me again. I felt like I could think, like I could actually enjoy the moment.

Just after the increased dosage at 5:45 the nurse checked my cervix. 9 cm! At 6 pm she had me push. All I saw was a huge flood of blood squirt right for the nurse. She said "Hold on! Don't Push!" She called for the doctor, who was there by 6:15 PM. Rachel was out just a few pushes later at 6:31 PM.

I think I should get credit for having her naturally since I only got 45 minutes of pain releif. LOL. But I'm thankful that I only pushed for 30 minutes. The doctor told me I better not tell my girlfriends that I only pushed that long or they'll hate me. I'll risk it.

I got to hold Rachel for about 30 mintues when she was first born. Then, she turned blue, and the rest you've been reading the last couple of weeks.

Now that I'm home I can't believe she is mine. I know I went through the labor, but God actually entrusted me with this fragile thing? He has to be crazy! :)

Breastfeeding (men, turn away if you don't want to recognize the functionality of breasts. It does kind of ruin it.) is a challenge because she was spoiled with a lazy bottle at the NICU. I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of sweat and tears before we get that down, but I'm determined. She latches, but her jaw gets tired. We're working on it. Meanwhile I'm pumping, and bottle supplementing, too.

Anyway, that's the whole ugly story in a nutshell. Ugly story, but isn't she THE MOST beautiful thing you've ever seen??? :)

Just got home with Rachel a couple of hours ago!! Thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers. It truly was comforting and meant a lot. She improved every day and she has been stable on her oxygen without help for the last several days, and she has been eating well, so she was released! We are so happy!!

Now, it is time to figure this baby thing out. I thought this kid would come with an owner's manual! :)

Just wanted to quickly post to let everyone know. As soon as things settle down I'll visit your blogs, post pictures, the birth story, and then (since you are probably tired of hearing all this baby stuff!) on to your regularly scheduled blog.

Thanks again!!!!

Thanks everyone for your comments, thoughts, and prayers. I have read every one and the support means so much to me. I want to get to each of your blogs to say so individually, and will eventually. Right now, though, just popping in to let you know she is doing much better! Slowly improving and things are looking positive. They gave her four doses of surfactants and she seems now to be breathing on her own with the ventilator's help (they slowly turn it down). They are even talking about taking the ventilator out either tomorrow or the next day, which is great news! Her mommy and daddy are anxious, but we know it is best she stay in the ICU as long as she needs to.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

Update on Rachel

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. It means so much to me I can't even express.

Just home enough to sleep a little and wash clothes. Rachel was put into the intensive care Neonatal ICU because of her breathing. It turns out to be undeveloped lungs...her surfactants are not developed enough to keep her lungs open. They had to increase her oxygen to 80% at one point but she is back down to 50% now. They had to intebate and sedate her because her little body was so tired from working so hard to breathe.

We are holding up. It was so hard to leave the hospital today without her. I need sleep badly though, so we came home for a little bit. They will probably have her until at least early to mid next week, we are hoping only until then. They said the next 48 hours are the most critical time, and that usually they turn around after 72 hours.

She is in the BEST of care. We are blessed with these doctors (she has a team of three neonatal doctors). They are constantly assuring us that she'll make it OK and are great about asking how we are doing/handling it.

When she is home in my arms I'll tell all about the birth!

Prayers please

I was just told I'm going to be undergoing an emergency induction, which may turn out to be a c-section, tomorrow. The amniotic fluid was at 6.5, which doesn't tell me much except that it is too low, but numbers might tell one or two of you something.

Anyway, I'm getting admitted to the hospital tonight. They need to soften my cervix because I haven't even started dialating yet.

Nor have I packed bags, or gotten the car seat, or washed her clothes. Thank God my mother-in-law and mother will be here. Although they don't like eachother, but I'll let them duke it out over who gets to do what. Hopefully they'll play nice this once.

Anyway, I'm a little worried about the baby. She is FINE as of now, but I've been told it's touch and go until they get her out of me, and the mere act of inducing when she's not ready could cause complications. The doc said be prepared just in case a c-secion is necessary.

So, pray for Rachel if you do that sort of thing. Or think good thoughts or send good energy. I'll take it all.

Thanks.

The Ultrasound Take Two

We went for our doctor's appointment and ultrasound yesterday. The doctor wanted to make sure the gestational diabetes that I have isn't interfering with the size of the baby. Apparently, if you have gestational diabetes then the baby has a high risk of getting a larger chest and waist. This causes dystocia where the baby gets stuck in the birth canal and can cause nerve damage as well as some other ugly things.

The good news is her chest and waist were fine. And also great news they said her organs appeared healthy! However she was rather large at this point...6 lbs. 12 oz. and in the 88th percentile (although the ultrasound can be as much as 10% off). This doesn't surprise me considering her mom is 5'11" and her dad is 6'6". She doesn't stand a chance at having any sort of normal size. Poor kid. She's going to hate us when she turns about 12 for sure.

It's amazing to see the ultrasound and peek at her. I could see her suckling with her lips, her eyes open and close, her little fingers (all five were there on the hand I could see!), and she already has HAIR! It wasn't as clear as the 20 week ultrasound. Mostly because she is so big now that you can only see a fraction of her at once instead of an entire profile.

The bad news is my amniotic fluid was borderline low. Which means the doctor wants me to rest more. She said cut out any unnecessary activities. Crap. It just kills me to sit around. I am rather type-A and want everything perfect around the house before the baby comes. I should have taken the advice from Cesca and Amiz a month ago and made the frozen meals ahead then. Well, I can look on the bright side...more time for visiting blogs!

On a sadder note...go visit Elle's blog and say a prayer for them. Her son, Jay, is very sick and needs good thoughts and prayers.

Visiting

My husband, as I've mentioned before, is a minister. He deals with a lot and generally I don't hear about most of it. Sometimes he'll talk about things, but generally it's part of his day. As you can suspect, he goes to hosptials and visits home-bound persons quite often. He'll tell me he is going to the hospital or "visiting" and I'll just say "OK". I don't go with him on these visits, generally. I mean, the last thing I would want if I was in the hospital is a bunch of people I don't know visiting. It's one thing for the minister to visit. It is quite another for his wife to tag along.

Sometimes, however, if someone is home-bound for a long time and Bryan visits them frequently they'll ask to meet me. After all, he talks about me and they ask about me when he's there.

One such time was just before we left the tiny East Texas town we moved from in May/June. He had been visiting an elderly woman named Helen for two years and she requested he bring me along on his last visit before we moved. So, I went.

We got to the house and her husband walked out with a smile on his face. He greeted us, shooed the dog away, and invited us in. We walked into their modest yet comfortable home nestled in the woods next to a beautiful pond. The living area had large picture windows that permitted you to enjoy the outdoors while in the comfort of the A/C. Across from the living room was a large bedroom with a long hallway to the bathroom. On the other side was the modest kitchen and a small bedroom they used for an office. You could tell they were proud of the modest yet comfortable home they had built together.

We came in and Helen was sitting in her chair. Helen had been battling cancer for 6 years. Yes, six years. She had undergone every cancer treatment, conventional and unconventional, and was still hanging in there, although very frail and weak. She was in pain much of the six years she was battling this thing.

We chatted about the weather, about their children and grandchildren, about our coming arrival, about the church. Then Helen's husband suggested she take me into the bedroom to show me the pictures of her children and grandchildren of which she was so proud.

Helen got into her wheelchair with the help of her husband and I wheeled her in there. She had such pride, but also such sadness as she showed me each picture and gave me the life story of each of them.

When we got up to leave Helen couldn't control herself any longer. She started to cry. She knew that Bryan was moving and that she would never see him again. That the end is near for her. Although her husband is staying strong and has not told her the latest doctors report, that there's nothing left, conventional or unconventional, to do for her cancer, she knew. She couldn't help but know.

When we left Bryan told me the reason her husband suggested I take her to see the pictures in the other room was so he could discuss funeral arrangements without her hearing, and the possibility of Bryan coming back to do the funeral.

On the drive home I couldn't help but think about the stories they told, the life they built together, the warmth they had for others, the children and grandchildren they were proud of, the 52nd anniversary they just celebrated, the love he so strongly still had for his wife after all of these years. And, how they were about to lose eachother. I choked back the tears. I said to Bryan "How do you deal with things like this day after day?" He simply said "I've been doing it a long time". (He was in the mental health/mental retardation field before becoming a minister, which had it's own unique sadnesses).

I will never take for granted the phrase "I'm going visiting" again.

Uh, oh.

My parents entrusted me with the second of the safety deposit box keys that they had. Apparently the bank said it is best for them to keep one and to give the other to a trusted relative.

They seem to think I'm a "trusted relative". I'm not sure why. About 7 years ago they lived in West Virginia and opened a safety deposit box there. Not that they have a lot worth putting in a safety deposit box. I don't think they're too worried about me getting anxious for my inheritance and killing them off or anything. I think mostly their wills and a few other things are in there. Hmm, come to think of it...maybe I should visit the safety deposit box just to be sure! (kidding!)

Anyway, since I'm supposed to be the "responsible" daughter (side note...not that my sister is "irrisponsible", but I've been more stable than her until now as far as my personal life. You know, married 12 years and that sort of stability. When they made out their wills even though she is the older one, they named me executor because she wanted no part of it.) they thought I would be the most logical "trusted relative". So, they gave me the key back when they lived in West Virginia, too. And I put it in my file cabinet. What other logical place would it go? Even though it was small, I thought it would be safe in the "Legal documents, marriage certificates, etc." hanging file.

Except I wasn't smart enough to realize that hanging files have slits in the side.

When they moved from West Virginia and closed the safety deposit box they needed the key back. No Problem! I went to the file cabinet and opened it to the "legal documents" file right where I left it. But it wasn't there. So, I spent 2 hours ripping every file apart and turning the file cabinet upside down. I never found it.

Then I was left with the task of telling my parents I couldn't find it. I offered to pay the $50 replacement fee, but they refused. They said it was anyone's mistake and not to worry about it. I even gave them the pouty lip and puppy dog eyes so they would let me pay and clear my conscience. I guess they wanted me to take it to my grave because they still refused and paid it themselves.

So, they are now full-time RVers. They changed to a bank that had branches all over the US. Much against their better judgement they gave me the key for their new box. We all had a nice laugh when they handed it to me. My dad gave me a stern "don't lose it this time" and laughed. I said "OH, I won't. Believe me". I taped it to the side of the desk. I figured the desk wasn't going anywhere, there's no way I could lose it. Right?

So, fast forward a year to last May. We moved. Remember the desk? We decided it was too bad of shape to make the move so we put it in the burn pile. Did I even THINK about the key? Noooooooooooo!

But WAIT! There's More!

After we loaded all of our stuff and were headed down to Houston for the last time, Bryan pulls out a key from his pocket. He says "Do you know what this is? It was just laying on the floor in the spare bedroom we used for an office". Lo, and behold...it was a SAFETY DEPOSIT KEY!

I breathed a sigh of relief! What a close call! RIGHT?

But WAIT! There's More!

I was up at the wee hours this morning because of a case of insomnia. The key was sitting TAPED to the file cabinet. And something possessed me to look at it. And I realized it said "Blah blah Bank, WEST VIRGINIA"

HOLY CRAP! IT'S THE OLD KEY, NOT THE NEW ONE!

So, now I get to go sheepishly back to the folks like I did as a teeneager telling them I did something wrong. I have to tell them I lost the key. Again. Maybe I should say "But the good news is I found the other one I lost!" Yea, that will go over well, now that they spent the $50. About as well as saying "But the good news is I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!"

I'm pretty sure I'll lose the "trusted relative" status after this one. I might even be grounded.

35 days left. 35 days?

At 4 AM my dog decided she needed to go outside, and my body decided once it was up it wasn't going back to sleep. So, I laid there in bed, trying not to be too restless to wake hubby. Then I started thinking about pretty much everything under the sun. Why is it that your mind races more at the wee hours of the morning instead of 2 in the afternoon? Then I got really hungry, so I got up and had a snack and here I am.

Holy crap. I just looked at my baby calculator and it says I have 35 days left. Which really means I probably have more like 28 days left, because the doctor has already said due to the gestational diabetes she wasn't comfortable letting me go further than 39 weeks. So, I'm most likely going to be induced if she doesn't decide to come before then.

HOLY CRAP! It just sunk in. I better get busy. We don't even have the stuff we need yet. I think I better get a few diapers on hand. That might be a teency weency bit necessary when we get home from the hospital. Oh, and probably a list of a billion other things, starting with a CAR SEAT. Yes, they won't let me take her home without that.

HOLY CRAP! In less than a month I'm going to be a MOMMY. Lord, help us all.

Over Analysis

Do you ever look at a word and realize how weird it looks? A word you use every day that just comes out funny, or looks weird on paper?

The other day I was in the shower and looked at the shampoo bottle. The word is made up of "Sham" and "poo". Neither words are good and neither of them would I like touching my hair. It's a "Sham" meaning it's fake. AND it's "poo". Who wants poo on their hair? How did that become the word for the stuff you clean your hair with?

Then I was watching TV and a carpet commercial came on. CAR PET. It has nothing to do with a car OR a pet. Except if your pet messes on your carpet enough he may end up in the car going someplace far, far away.

Can you think of any others?

How the world suddenly revolves around you.

I feel so self absorbed now that I'm pregnant. Hey, it's not my fault. It just seems like whenever I go anywhere the subject suddenly turns to my large tummy. Even if I walk into a conversation and it is something that sounds interesting, they automatically change it to my stomach and the soon-to-come festivities when I come in.

Then it starts going to your head. You know, that the world DOES revolve around you. I have mentioned before that I'm having a horrible time with feet swelling. To the point that none of my shoes fit. And, unfortunately, this 5'11" frame wears a size 11 shoe. So, it isn't exactly EASY to just go out and get a size 12.

The other day I couldn't fit into my shoes anymore, so Hubby and I went to the shoe store, with my unbuckled sandals, hoping to find some new ones. As I walk into the store three customers and a clerk practically in unison say "OH, look at her poor swollen feet!" "OK," I think, "They are really in tune with feet here, being it's a SHOE store. I'm not THAT freaky". I say something lame like "Yea" and go off to find the shoes. They don't carry 12's. They barely carry 11's.

So, off to another store..same thing. And another, same thing.

So, I'm feeling large, and the shoe stores are rubbing it in that I AM large. I studdenly started BAWLING (In the car, not in the store, thank God). Which is completely unlike me.

Hubby at first said "What's wrong?". OK, how do you explain that you are bawling because you can't wear shoes and you feel HUGE and like a freak? Especially when the reasons are for such precious ones like you have a BABY COOKING in there? What a stupid reason to cry. But, being the world revolves around ME now, it seemed logical at the time.

I just shook my head. Bryan was smart enough to let it go and leave me alone until I gathered my exposure. And then we moved on like nothing happened.

The Breastfeeding Class

I signed up for a breastfeeding class. I am pretty determined to breastfeed after everything I've read, but I've also been warned it can be a frustrating thing at first. So, even though millions of women since the beginning of time have breastfed, I felt as though I, Carol, should take a class.

And, much to my husbands dismay, I also felt like he should go with me.

So, last week we were off to class. I think 5 times on the way down there I heard "I hope other men are there". Walking into the building he said "If there aren't any other men in there I'm leaving". And, of course, we walk in about 15 minutes early and the only people that are there are two women. My hubby sat down but started biting his nails nervously. Finally, other men started coming in and I could see the relief on his face. As the first one came in I thought he was going to jump up and hug him. He's such a trooper.

Anyway, the class was quite good. I learned a lot. I think it will help tremendously. I started pondering the whole breastfeeding thing after the class. I mean, it's amazing how God put us all together.

It's actually amazing that anyone ever is born. Think about it. First the sperm has to swim, and the egg has to get released, find it's way down the tube, the sperm and the egg have to find eachother, connect, then the sperm has to put a "no vacancy" sign out on the egg so no other sperm think they have a shot. Then the cells have to divide. And one cell says "Hey! I'll be an eyeball!" and another cell says "OK, I'll be the blood vessels", etc. etc. The woman's body does its hormone thing which triggers all these other responses, and the placenta is formed, etc. etc. And this all JUST HAPPENS.

Then, once the baby is out the woman's body JUST KNOWS to start producing milk. Or colostrum at first, which is what the baby needs the first few days then around day 4 it produces milk. And if you don't breastfeed? It just stops producing it. Amazing.

Not that you needed this babymaking lesson, but have you ever really thought about it?? How God just has made nature do it's thing? I mean, how this works is much more amazing than how a car or a TV or a computer or any man made thing works. This has been working for thousands of years with nothing to plug in. Well, except for the occassional piece of pizza.

To all those in the UK

Allow me to express my sympathy and disgust at the terror attacks this morning. As I turned the news on this morning my stomach literally got ill as I watched what happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you!