Times Change

I had lunch with one of my friends the other day. She and I used to do a lot together. Amy and I have been friends for about 5 years. We worked together at the bio-tech company I worked for until I quit in February. We had some good times. Good times.

A couple of years ago we had a work meeting in Boca Raton Florida. Amy and I, along with about 4 of our co-worker guy friends decided to go a couple of days early and go to Key West. Our husbands couldn't go, but told us to go have fun anyway. So, we did. We found a place to stay...a trailer park with two single wide trailers, one for Amy and me to stay, and one for the four guys. These trailers were 2 bedroom one bath single wide mobile homes and...well...icky. The nastiest things. But they were cheap for Key West, right close to everything, and the beds seemed to be clean, so we took them.

The first night we went out to the strand and had a great time. We saw the sights and bar hopped and people watched. Some of us had too much to drink (OK, for the record, NOT ME!). When we got back to our trailers it was around 2am. The guys proceeded to their trailer (well, stagger was more like it) and they realized they had locked the wrong lock and didn't have a key to get in. The office of this trailer park wouldn't open until 8am, so they were screwed until morning. What could Amy and I do but offer our place? I bunked in her room with her, two guys stayed in my room, and one on the sofa in the living room and the other on the (albeit nasty) floor. OK, not the most ideal accommodations, but they were all nice guys and we were fine with it.

At about 4am Amy nudged me. She whispered "Carol! Someone is in our room!" I opened my eyes and squinted in the dark and said "Who IS that?". One of the guys was just standing there at the foot of the bed looking at us. COMPLETELY NAKED. You would think we would have been a little more startled, but for some reason we weren't. Finally we realized it was David. He turned around like he was going to go back out, then he turned toward us again, started to crawl in bed until he realized someone was there. Then he said "OH, excuse me". He turned around and stood, staring at the wall. We then heard a trickle. Amy said to me "Is that what I think it is?" I replied "Uhhh, I think so". David peed on the wall. He then proceeded to walk out. Amy got up and locked the door. And then we giggled. And giggled. And giggled until the entire trailer shook. We couldn't stop giggling.

Oh, the next day David remembered NOTHING. We made him clean up the pee. He was SO embarrassed. He said "what happens in Key West STAYS in Key West, right?" Yea, right. We teased him inscescently. And we all agreed not to tell anyone at the meeting we were all going to, but that lasted about 5 minutes. It was too juicy to keep. Now David is known as "The guy that peed in the girl's room in Key West". Poor thing. And since I've repeated this story I've learned it is apparently common when a guy gets way too drunk to pee in the most inappropriate places in their sleep.

Amy and I had a lot of times like that. Now Amy is in the middle of divorce and is ready to have the partying single life again. I'm about to be a mom and have little interest in bar hopping and the party life. Our lunch was sad, really. There were quite a few moments of silence, where we ran out of things to say. Oh, we chatted about the baby and about my old work (where she still works). But it wasn't the same. It's kind of sad in a way. But times change, and people change, and situations change. I'm sure Amy and I will exchange Christmas cards every year. I sure hope we keep in touch enough to know how life works out for her.

High hopes

I got a call from the doctor and she said I have low iron and may have gestational diabetes (have to go in for more testing for that).

So, you're not SUPPOSED to feel like crap while you are pregnant? I have been so tired lately. I just thought it was all the moving and family here for my hubby's probational ordination service thingie. I have never been considered LAZY, but I sure have been lately. I mean, packing has been such an effort. It takes me 5 times as long to do anything as it used to.

I'm hoping these iron pills will be like a can of spinach for Popeye. I'll pop a pill and get all the energy I need to spin around and get things done in a jiffy! Or maybe even they will work as "smart" pills. I'll have so much energy to think I'll be able to write wonderful blog entries that are both humorous and intellectually challenging.

OK, I know you aren't holding your breath.

Random thoughts while driving/packing/moving/celebrating

We're finally at the tail end of this three week long moving/celebrating fest. Anxious to get in the new place and get settled. Only one more 8 hour round trip and one 4 hour one-way trip left to Houston! YAY! Then I am going to park my car in the garage and never leave again! (OK, not really. But I'm not traveling for a long, long time).

Anyway, the following are random thoughts I've had lately...

**Buzzards. They get no respect. God was not merciful to these creatures when he made them. I mean, lets face it. They are ugly as sin. Yet, they do so much for us. They clean the road-kill. Can you imagine if they didn't eat road kill? We would have all kinds of creatures decaying and stinking on country roads. We should be thanking these birds. But do we drive down the road and say "OH, LOOK! A BUZZARD!" like we would a bluebird, or a hummingbird, or a painted bunting? No. We say in a dissapointed way "ewww...a buzzard". So, I today say all hail to the buzzard. And thanks for being the sanitary workers of nature.

**Words of wisdom...if you are going to buy a house it may LOOK like a good idea to have the laundry room upstairs with the bedrooms. And your father may say it won't be a big deal to get the washer upstairs. But make sure he knows that the staircase is one of those "broken" ones, where you go up a few steps then turn on a landing and go up a few more. And that the dolly won't be able to turn on the landing. Nothing is as unsettling as watching a clothes washer tumble down the stairs on top of your husband.

**Why is it that old people like to bombard you with newspaper clippings? Maybe it's just the old people I know. Or, come to think of it, I'm thinking it's not OLD people, but just my husbands family. Or maybe just people from Minnestoa, as that is where his mom's family is from. I don't think hubby grandmother, aunt, or mother have ever read a newspaper without a pair of scissors in hand. Every time I see them or get a letter from them I get 5 or 10 from each of them. And it is usually stuff that I can't figure out why they would think I would be interested. Or a recipe. Yet I feel obligated to read them for fear I will get 20 questions later. Is this a common phenomenon?

Now, I'm going to take a nap while I can! That is...if I can find the bed in between these boxes.

Popping in!

Thought I would peek a moment between moving boxes and celebrations. I miss my blogging friends!

Closed on the house, got the apartment I had in Houston moved to the new place, working on packing the house, cleaning, etc. All this while trying to keep my legs and feet from swelling like elephants, and trying not to lift anything major. Oh, joy.

The church had a baby shower for us the other day! It was so nice. Much against all my better judgement....Here's a picture...see how I'm becoming pleasantly plump? And I have three months to go. YIKES!



And now for a moment of sappyness....this is a warning. Bare with me:
I am amazed at how you can love something you can't see. I can feel this baby moving inside me, I can even SEE her move when I look at my tummy. But I am so amazed how I can love her so much. I don't know what she looks like. I don't know her personality. I don't even know if she'll be easy or difficult. And none of it matters. I love her anyway.

Now, go visit David at Amateur Dad and wish him well...they are inducing his wife TODAY!

Grandmas and Minnesota

Imagine an 84 year old woman and an obviously pregnant woman walking through the airport together. If you were in the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport on Thursday that would have been the scene. I flew up to the twin cities on Wednesday, rented a car, drove to Mankato and picked my hubby’s 84 year old grandma to bring her down for his upcoming graduation/ordination festivities. She is afraid to fly alone and I was elected to be her escort. I spent Wednesday night at her little apartment and we took off at 7:30am for the airport again on Thursday.

I love his Grandma. She is a sweet little old lady. She walks slow, shuffling each foot an inch at a time. She can’t stand for long. She can’t see very well. Her hearing is poor. But grandma has no problem talking. BOY can she talk. And talk. And talk. And talk. All of these features combined make for an interesting two days when you are alone with grandma for that long.

I got to her apartment at 3:30 p.m. She was standing at the door waiting for me with her coat on already, even though I told her I would be there between 4:00 and 4:30 p.m. She hugged me and immediately said “Are you hungry?” My husband’s family will NOT let anyone starve. They will let you in the house, shove food down your throat, and massage your tonsils while it is on the way down.

I said “Grandma, it’s 3:30. I ate at one o’clock on the plane”
She said “Oh, I think you must be hungry”
I barely got out “but really, I’m n….”
Grandma, halfway out the door “Lets go! I’m sure you’re hungry”

OK, some battles aren’t worth fighting. We went to her favorite restaurant, the Dam Store. She emphasizes the “DAM” part of the name and giggles whenever she says it. I wonder if she doesn’t like the restaurant just because she is an old very Lutheran woman who doesn’t curse, and she’s allowed to say “Damn” when she says “Dam Store”. Anyway, this is a hole in the wall place. The tables are warped and crooked. The seats are tearing. The floor is coming up. But they have great home-cooked burgers and shakes. The young woman behind the counter makes rhubarb pies that her grandma taught her how to make. This is all grandma needed to know to make it her favorite restaurant.

The temperature was 45 degrees in Minnesota. That night Grandma said “I turned on the heat to 78. I know Texas is a lot hotter than here!”
I said “Grandma, I have flannel pajamas. We don’t keep it that hot at our house! Don’t you normally turn your heat off? Really I would be more comfortable……”
Grandma replied “I think you need a fourth blanket. Here is a wool quilt”
I said “Really, Grandma, we keep our air on cooler than th…..”
She said, “Oh, you must be tired!”
I said “Grandma, it’s 8 o’clock”
Grandma said “Oh, it’s so late! I’m going to leave you alone so you can go to bed”
I said “Really, I never go to bed bef….”
Grandma was halfway to her room. Truth is, she goes to bed at 8 p.m. And I laid there with flannel pajamas and no covers in a pool of sweat all night. Watching the clock.

The entire two days I think I maybe finished one sentence. She told me the life stories of her hairdresser, neighbors, the manager at Old Country Buffet, her minister, her various cousins, nieces, nephews, their spouses, and repeated stories about her husband when he was alive. And then she repeated the life stories of hairdresser, neighbors, the manager at Old Country Buffet, her minister, her various cousins, nieces, nephews, their spouses, and repeated stories about her husband when he was alive. Then She repeated them all a third, and if they were really good fourth time. Many times she would say “Did I tell you about so-and-so” and I would say “Yes, grandma, you di….” and she would start on the story and go on and on.

In the airport we were a scene. She had to have a wheelchair so she couldn’t go through security. She had a fit when they put the metal detector wand over her and patted her down. She didn’t understand why her metal earrings were OK going through the X-Ray. When they came with the cart of drinks on the plane she asked me how much they were. I told her they were free. She said “certainly they aren’t free”. So, she asked the flight attendant anyway.

By the time we got to our house on Thursday at 5pm I was exhausted. I went to bed at 8:30 that night. SHE, the 84 year old woman, however, was wired. She stayed up until 10:30 pm repeating the stories about her hairdresser, neighbors, the manager at Old Country Buffet, her minister, her various cousins, nieces, nephews, their spouses, and repeated stories about her husband when he was alive to my husband. I think I heard Bryan squeak “but” and “Yes” twice. I’m not sure.

I'll never learn.

One thing about me that my husband has always griped about is...I never learn. I don't know the word "no". Well, I KNOW it. I just typed it over there. But I'm the first one to say "I can do it!", or other variations of that phrase. Need a cake for the church bake sale? "I'll do it!" Need a babysitter? "I'll do it!" Need someone to clean your house because you are recovering from a hospital stay? "I'll do it!"

I've had two businesses that went from hobbies to full-fledged business, to so successful I couldn't handle it on my own with my full time job besides. You would think after the first one I would have learned. But no. (Hey! There's the word again!)

So, when I realized I would be 6 months pregnant when moving several months ago, and when people offered to help, I should have jumped at it. But no. I said "Oh, I can handle it! No problem!"

That wouldn't be so bad...except...I also volunteered to fly up to Minnesota and drive two hours one way to pick up my husbands 82 year old grandmother and then the next morning drive back to the airport and fly back with her. I also volunteered to have the family here for the weekend for my husband's graduation (With a Masters of Divinity! Woo Hoo! He finished!) Yes, during the middle of a move. I also volunteered to bake a cake and decorate it with my new cake decorating skills for a congratulations/good luck party the church is giving my husband. I also volunteered to make a flower arrangement for a brunch next week. I also volunteered to have a picnic for the family (12 people) in two weeks at our NEW house for my husbands commissioning ceremony.

All of this while packing, getting things turned on, getting things turned off, and I'm still also moving out of the apartment I had while working in Houston. BESIDES moving out of the house to a new one. So, I guess that really qualifies as TWO moves. At once.

Why don't I listen to my husband? Before I was pregnant I would get myself in a time crunch, panic, lose sleep, but I managed. But now I keep forgetting that I'm 6 months pregnant. And now, my feet are so swollen that I can't put my shoes on, my back hurts, and it took me two hours to clean two bathrooms today. Yea, I'm in trouble.

So, if I'm not on here much (I'll be off and on for the next three weeks) you know why. And try not to say "I told you so".

Opinions Please!

Got my hair trimmed yesterday and the hair stylist asked me if I wanted my hair flat-ironed. I have naturally curly hair, and generally just wash, dry and go. But if she was willing to go through all that extra work, I thought, "Hey! Might as well go different!"

So, I had my hair straight for the day. And then my family got into a discussion over weather I looked better with straight hair or curly. And one family member STRONGLY said I should straighten it every day. And the other three said the first one was crazy, that the curly hair was the best on me. So, I thought I would ask you all what you thought. Should I straighten it on a regular basis? Keep it curly?

Keep in mind, the pictures aren't the best. One makes me look like I have a fake tan (which I DO NOT). The other makes my face look bleached (which is probably more accurate.). But I think you can see what you need to of the hair in both.

My Husband Likes Frilly Little Girl Clothes

He is going to kill me for this title if he reads my blog. Which he never does, so I think I’m safe. Well, he does if I grab his ear, staple his butt to the chair, and pull it up for him. But I only do that if there’s something REALLY good on it. And we all know how often that is. Unfortunately.

Anyway, we went to babies R us to change some things on our registry. Since I had gotten some advice on here and other places on what to and what not to register for, we decided to go and make changes. I’m glad we didn’t start out registering at Babies R us. That place is intimidating, and if Target and Toys R us had our head spinning I’m sure Babies R us would have sent us into a permanent shock. Permanent shock generally isn’t a good idea BEFORE the baby is born.

I started looking around. Bryan is NOT a shopper. He tries very hard to appease me. I pretty much know I have about three hip shifts (you know, weight on right leg, arm leaning on a clothes rack is the first hip shift. Then weight on left leg, hand under the chin is second shift. Then the third and final shift is back to the weight on right leg) before he starts loudly sighing and I must make my purchasing decisions and go quickly because he is about to explode.

I had to go through the baby clothes section before I left Babies R us. How could I not?? Especially since we are having a little girl. Those little girl clothes are so ADORABLE. I started walking through there, expecting him to lightly pull me back to the isle. But, he followed. So, I started looking at the frilly little girl dresses. And I said “This is so cute!” I looked out of the corner of my eye to see if he was on the first or second hip shift. I almost swallowed my gum when I realized he hadn’t even gotten to the first hip yet. So, I decided to push it.

I picked up a dress and said “Dear, isn’t this the cutest?” I waited patiently for the eye roll and the “Yes, now let’s go.” However, much to my surprise he said “Yes, that really is!” I looked up at him again. After all, when I was little once I went up to a woman at the grocery store thinking she was my mom and asked her to buy me some spray cheese. The woman made a noise and I looked up and ran. Hey, I was only about 5 and had never been so embarrassed. I thought perhaps I made the same mistake with some other man at Babies R Us. But I hadn’t! It was Bryan morphed into some unrecognizable little-girl’s-dad mode.

Next thing I new, HE picked up a little frilly dress and said “Look at this one.” If I had a medic alert button around my neck I think I would have pushed it at that point. My head got dizzy. My throat went dry. I was about to fall and not be able to get up. I was in such bliss. My husband was actually enjoying looking at little girl clothes with me. I didn’t know how to act! I started to worry he had broken out with a fever that made him delirious.

I picked up a few more things to look at, a cheerleader outfit from our favorite sports team (yea, I knew THAT would get him), an Easter dress. No hip shifts. No eye rolls, no “Hurry up”. More “Oh, yea, that’s cute too”.

The whole ordeal lasted about 10 minutes. I decided I better leave after that long because if he did morph back into his hip-shifting-eye-rolling self the moment would have been ruined forever. Yes, in 12 years of marriage I’ve learned how far to push.

Forget everything I've said.

My last few posts have been about not being moody while pregnant and liking old people. Well, I decided after my experience today...I lied.

Unfortunately, because I live in the sticks, I have two choices for grocery shopping. Pay twice to three times as much at this mom-and-pop-shop which is 10 miles away, or go to the discount superstore that starts with a "W" that is 40 miles away. Yea. That one. I rather dispise this place, as I stated in an earlier post.

Once a month (sometimes twice) I go to the discount place to get the bulk of my groceries. When I need milk or other things that you can't get a month in advance I'll go to the mom-and-pop place.

Yesterday was my monthly trip. I thought while I was in town I would get my oil changed. After all, it was well overdue. I've never gotten my oil changed at the discount store before, but I figured, hey, I would be spending at least an hour gathering groceries. It was just so darn convenient. So, I pulled up beside the building. There were 4 stalls to chose from. I had no idea where to go, so I just picked one.

I got out of my car, and a man who looked like he was born in the stone age came out. He was a low talker. I could hardly understand a word he said, which was probably good, because due to the words I did understand I wanted to kick him in the nuts (hence, why I'm talking back the I'm not moody while pregnant that I stated earlier).

He mumbled "What do you want".
I said "an oil change, please"
He mumbled sarcastically, "And you parked in front of the tire stall?"

I wanted to say "How the hell was I supposed to know, ASSHOLE?"
But I didn't. I refrained. I counted to ten. I realized that I would never say that in my normal non-pregnant state. So, instead, I said "I'm sure that's happened before. This is my first time here" in a sarcastic voice. Lame, but that's all I could come up with while counting to ten.

He ignored my comment and asked what kind of car I had. I replied "A Honda CRV".

He went around back and looked at what I assume was the licence plate. Then he said "What kind of vehicle did you say this was?". I am 99% sure he was saying that to be an ass, because RIGHT IN FRONT of him in very large letters on the back of the car it said "Honda CRV". So, I went back, pointed and said "A Honda CRV".

He then mumbled "I'm sure you don't know how many miles are on it".

OK, does he just ASSUME I'm stupid? He went to open the door to look and I said "50,500 miles". Jerk.

THEN, he says "Which service do you want?". I asked what services they offered. He said "Oil changes". By then I was ticked. TICKED. I mean, I know they offer a just the basics oil change and a fancy check everything oil change but I didn't know what the fancy check everything oil change was called, and, heaven forbid I call it the WRONG thing and he be a jerk about it. So, I said "Well, don't you offer one that you check tire pressure and fluid levels?" He typed something in the computer, handed me a ticket, and walked away.

I yelled after him "And can you tell me when to expect it?". He mumbled something. I didn't have the energy to ask what he said.

Sigh. Just when I was in a happy bliss of sunshine and singing birdies, I had to run into this jerk.

I can't wait until I'm old.

Actually, I can. But I do love old people. Perhaps because I never had grandparents growing up. My mom was a foster child and my dad's parents were deceased before or shortly after I was born. So, I always felt a little jipped on the grandparent issue. When I was in high school I adopted a grandmother through a service. The adopted grandmother was named "Mary" (aren't all old ladies named "Mary"?). Mary lived in a nursing home. She was in her 80's, in a wheelchair, and had a stroke so her left side was non-functional. Because of her stroke she had a hard time speaking. Her sentances were usually less than three words, and were very labored.

Mary's only family was a niece who lived across the country. The niece came to see her maybe once every three months, and for some reason didn't like us visiting. I think Mary may have had money or something. It was a nice nursing home, after all. And maybe the niece thought we were after it? Just a guess. When the niece was there she always asked us to leave and made a comment about how her FAMILY was there or something along those lines. And Mary would get upset, but we would just come back when the niece wasn't there. She wasn't there that often.

Anyway, when Bryan and I started dating he went with me to see Mary. When we got engaged Mary was so excited! She tried to tell everyone that walked by us in the nursing home about the engagement, but just ended up making squealing noises, so she would take my hand with the ring and shove it in the air. She was so cute.

There were others in the nursing home that we got to know a little bit while we were there. One lady, who I assume had alzheimers, would light up when we walked in the room. She would see Bryan and exclaim "LIVINGSTON!". Or sometimes she would see me and yell "BEVERLY!". Bryan, who later worked as a social worker at a nursing home, would come over to her and say "hello", and it would just delight her that "Livingston" came for a visit. For the longest time when I was kidding around with Bryan we would call eachother "Beverly" and "Livingston". I assume they were relatives of hers.

Now that I'm pregnant I seem to be very popular with the older generation. I walk in the room and they flock to touch the belly. Yesterday a tiny white haired lady came over and asked the typical questions, and then asked "Do you feel her move?" I said "Oh, yes, a lot". She looked at Bryan, looked at me, then whispered in a I'm-hard-of-hearing-so-I'm-not-wispering-but-I-think-I-am voice "well, she's going to have huge feet, so she's going to kick the HELL out of you". ROFL.

I love old people.

A Meme

True Jersey Girl sent me a Meme (Hey, how did that term come up, anyway? The first time I saw someone reference a "meme" I had no idea what they were talking about. If someone would like to enlighten me....)

Her answers were great. I hope I can live up! Here goes:

What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you).

Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.

Here's that list:

If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer... If I could be a backup dancer...
If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a midget stripper... If I could be a proctologist...
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host... If I could be an actor...
If I could be a judge... If I could be a Jedi...
If I could be a mob boss... If I could be a backup singer …
If I could be a CEO... If I could be a movie reviewer …

If I could be a movie reviewer...then the movie industry would probably go south because I'm pretty picky!

If I could be a backup dancer...it would be in the act of Abbott and Costello. If you could see me dance you would fully understand why.

If I could be a proctologist...I would try to keep the jokes at a minimum.

If I could be a Jedi...my husband would probably want to marry me all over again. He's such a star-wars geek.

If I could be a painter...I would definitely go broke.

Three other bloggers....Angie ('cuz she's my very good friend and therefore obligated to do these things), Adrienne (same reason), Elle (Because I like her and she is a great writer. I bet she would be very good at this.)

The way to be

I hear people talking about their mental state during pregnancy and they usually mention being extremely moody. I do find my once rock existance easily shaken when I see a lost puppy or a sad movie, as I've mentioned in the past. However, overall I find my pregnancy state as one of extreme happiness. I wake up ready to face the world (well, as long as it isn't TOO early). I admire the birds, nature, people. I reflect more. Of course, this probably has a lot to do with me quitting my very stressful career, too.

I thought to myself the other day that I really should try to be this way no matter what my state is. When I had that stressful career perhaps I should have let things roll off my back a little more, perhaps relaxed a bit. Of course, the career may not have been quite as successful, but life would have been more pleasant.

Anyway, one of my reflection times was while driving in downtown Houston. A young guy, my guess late 20's, was driving a little red beat-up pickup truck. He was driving down the very busy highway between the downtown buildings, and he was really enjoying his music. Or what I assume was music. He was dancing while driving, flailing his arms, bouncing in his seat, singing. He was definitely happy. He didn't care if people saw him singing in the car, making a fool of himself while dancing. He liked his music and he was going to enjoy it.

I thought, THAT is the way to be.

Of course, in the back of my mind I have a difficulty completely burying the negative. I worry about money, about raising this baby right, about post-partem depression. Come to think of it, maybe the guy in the car wasn't singing. Maybe he was on the cell phone having a screaming fight with his girlfriend.

OK, I have a little ways to go before I'm completely in the carefree, positive mode. But I'm trying. And I've come a long way.

He Never Ceases to Amaze Me.

“Martha” went to our church. I should actually say “was a member” because in the two years I’ve been here I’ve never actually seen her step foot in it. You see, Martha was 71 and grumpy. She never had a kind word, never said “please”. She was estranged from her children and everyone in her family except one sister who lived across the country. I think when Martha was a little girl her mother forgot to mention that if you hold your mouth a certain way for too long then it sticks in that position. Martha had a permanent frown on her face. Nobody liked her. She didn’t like anybody. She kept to herself unless she needed something.

Martha said she didn’t go to church because she was too ill. But yet you could find her driving and going to the grocery store 30 miles away. She was often seen at the local restaurant, eating by herself. Oh, she could get out. Everyone knew she didn’t go to church because she got into an argument with a previous pastor over what version of the bible should be used to teach a bible study. She noted that he was using a version she didn’t like, and told him so. And he disagreed. And she never came back.

That didn’t stop Martha from calling the church for favors. When her sister visited and needed a ride from the airport, she called the church and I answered the phone. She said in a gruff voice “This is Martha. I need to know who will pick up my sister Sunday morning at the airport.” All I could think was “The GALL of that woman! The least she could have done is ASK if there would be any way we could do it. Or say ‘please’ at the very least! And doesn’t she know church is Sunday morning?” I told her I would give the message to my husband. After all, he is the pastor. HE could tell her we’re not her taxi service.

Much to my surprise when he got home and I passed him the message he called Martha back and said he would be conducting services at that time but he would try to find someone who would be available. I asked him “Why are you doing that? She is so mean. We’re not her taxi service”. He just shrugged and said nothing.

Martha fell and broke her hip. She was in the rehab hospital for three weeks. She called the church one week before her release and DEMANDED we build her a wheelchair ramp. For free (she was on a very limited income). She demanded this be done within a week, so she would have it when she got home. I answered the phone on that one, too. I explained that my husband was in class all day and wouldn’t be home until late. Could he call her the next day to discuss this? Martha replied “NO. I need an answer NOW”. I said I was sorry but he could not be reached. She said “OK” and hung up on me. Then she called about 5 other people in the church. Who called me asking what to do. And I explained that I told her it would have to wait until the next day. And they rolled their eyes and said “That’s Martha”.

When Bryan got home that night he called her. He told her he wasn’t sure what could be done in the short timeframe, but he understood her need and would see what he could do. In one week he managed to stress over getting construction volunteers together and donations of supplies from various hardware stores. I asked him repeatedly “Why are you stressing out over it? Her expectations are absolutely atrocious!” He shrugged and said “it would be nice if it was there when she got home”. They didn’t quite make the deadline, but had it in the day after she got home.

Over the last two years Bryan has done many things for Martha. I never understood it. She was mean to him, rude to me and everyone else. Demanding. She insisted he bring her home communion when we had communion on the first Sunday of the month. He did, which irritated me because she COULD come to church to get it if she wanted, and she was the only one he brought it to so it was an inconvenience.

This last Monday Martha called again and I answered the phone again. The conversation went much like many of our others. I said “Hello” and she said “This is Martha. I want to know who will come pick me up from the hospital”. I said “Martha, Bryan is in teaching bible study right now and will be done in about 10 minutes. Can I have him call you?” She said “NO. I need to talk to him RIGHT NOW.” I suggested she call the church because that is where he was.

About 10 minutes later Bryan comes over to the house and tells me he is leaving to go get Martha. She apparently scraped her leg and needed stitches. Nothing serious, only four stitches. An ambulance took her to the hospital, but she needed a ride home. Again, I said “What is with her? She couldn’t ASK NICELY? And doesn’t she realize it’s 45 miles away. And we are using OUR gas and OUR car to do this? The least she could do is be NICE when asking for favors”. He smiled, chuckled, and said “Yea, she is pretty demanding, isn’t she?” I rolled my eyes. Off he went to get her.

Tuesday we went to Houston to deal with more house stuff. We got home yesterday (Wednesday) and there was a message from someone at the church on our machine. Martha had died suddenly in her house. Alone. She had called a woman whom she knew and said she wasn’t feeling well. The woman went to check on her and she was dead.

Bryan got the message and said “Oh, my God!” I mean, after all, he just saw her Monday and she was fine. He went on for a few minutes, doing other things. Then he sat in his chair and looked like he was reflecting. Finally he said to me “It’s amazing how God works. Just Monday when I picked Martha up we had a good talk. She actually thanked me for being nice to her. She said she wanted to come to church on Sunday to hear me preach”.

You see, Bryan is about 2 million steps ahead of me in his Christian walk. He saw an old woman who needed help. Who was difficult, but was a person with needs just like everyone else. Through his kindness he was ministering to her. Not in a lecture sort of way, but by example. How Christians SHOULD minister. And here I was “tisk, tisking” her because of her grumpiness and rudeness. I should know that the Golden rule doesn’t say “Do unto others…if they are nice”.

He is an amazing man. This is why HE is the minister and I am not. I am blessed that my daughter will have him as an example.

Feelings of inadequacy.

I am having my first baby shower in two weeks, and the hosts requested we register at a couple of stores. So, my husband and I went to Toys R Us and Target to register for baby stuff.

I hope they kept their store cameras out of the baby section while we were in there. I can see several security personnell in their little dark rooms laughing uncontrollably at us. Let me give you the sinerio.

Imagine two well educated people. Standing. Staring with their mouthes open. Probably a little drool inconspicuously coming from the corner of their mouthes. With a little scanner thingie in their hands. Staring at a large wall of baby miscellaneous stuff.

I say "Where do we start?". He says "Well, lets tackle the little stuff and then the big stuff". I think his thought was the big stuff would be more difficult, so start small. Yea, right.

I did come armed with a few suggestions from friends and books, so I thought I was more prepared than I was. We headed down the isle to the large wall with thousands of miscellaneous baby stuff. OK, bottles first. I hear the angled neck is best. OK. What's this? Little air thingie at the bottom to prevent bubbles? It says it prevents colic. Mom still talks about me having colic. That can't be good. So, OK, we must go with the vent thingie. But do I need the little liners? If you have the liners then it would make the vent thingie obsolite, wouldn't it? And I plan to breastfeed mostly, but I do know I need bottles. He's gotta feed her every once in a while. Here are "nursing" bottles. What the hell is the difference? Oh, it really doesn't say. OK, lets skip that. Thermometers. Well, here's a temporal thermometer. It only takes a second. That's good. But it's fifty bucks. How about this ear one? Why is this ear one twenty dollars and this one thirty five? They look the same. This one says "especially for newborns". Does that mean I can't use it when she's six months? Why does it work better for newborns? OK. Skip that. On to the linens. This little stuff is too hard.

OK, linen section. Mattress pad. Definitely waterproof. Why would you pick anything else? This one looks nice and fluffy and comfy. Wait. I hear too many blankets and padding can cause SIDS. OK, not the fluffy one. Here's a nice flat one. It doesn't go down the sides of the mattress. Do they need to go down the sides? OK, this is too hard...onto the big stuff.

The big stuff went about the same way. We looked like we were practicing for our slapstick comedy act as we tried to figure out how to fold, put together, and convert car seats, strollers, and playpens. The one thing I was sure of was the Boppy, because Angie just told me emphatically I needed one. Got that on the list!

Oh, Lord, please help this poor child who was given to these very inadequate parents.

The only section we didn't have problems with was the toys. Yea, they were fun. Bryan wanted to register her for a darth vader mask. Sorry dear. I think it's obvious who THAT would be for. lol. He's such a geek. But he's a cute geek.

Question: This is the part I ask for baby advice and then go back to change the registry while I still can.

I'm such a REBEL

I'm skipping CLASS today. I haven't done that in a while! OK, it's a 4-week cake decorating class, and today was supposed to be the last of the four. But because I've been so busy going back and forth to Houston I didn't have time to do my homework. The homework was making and frostening a cake to take to class to decorate, and making up the various frostings used to decorate the cake. Cake decorating is more time consuming than you would expect. I suppose I could have gone and just enjoyed the instruction and told them the dog ate my homework. How far fetched is THAT excuse in a cake decorating class?? What are they going to do, fail me? Hmmm, come to think of it, my mom paid my tuition (a whole $12.50). So, she may ask to see my report card when done. OH, well. I'll risk it.

Here is a picture of my first decorated cake ever:


My life has gotten quite simple of late, hasn't it?

Question: Did you ever ditch class as a kid?

My day with Angie....by Carol grade 27

As many of you know, I’ve been in Houston with Angela Marie from Rocks and Garbage and her mom the last couple of days. Actually, the trip there turned out quite convenient. I met with the realtor on Wednesday and looked at houses and BOUGHT ONE (more on that later) while Angie was having her procedure, which I was glad to hear turned out less painful than anticipated. Thursday and Friday we painted the town red (well, as much as a pregnant woman, a mom, and a grandma can:

Carol and Angie

Thursday morning I picked them up promptly at 10am. OK, I wasn’t so prompt, because I thought their hotel was a block further than it was. And there was construction, so I couldn’t turn around. So, I was about 15 minutes late. I called to inform them I would be a little late and her mom answered and asked me to please hurry because she was being tortured by yet another episode of Little House on the Prairie. I got there as fast as I could.

We headed out to Old Town Spring (We missed you Milkmaid!). It is a place with a bunch of old houses that were put together and made into girly-type shops. Candles, clothes, pottery, linens, dishes, you know. Girly Stuff. We met my mom, who happened to be in town, there. As we were waiting for mom Angie gave me a package with the cutest/neatest baby gifts! One of the first gifts Rachel had gotten!

We went into the shops and enjoyed seeing all the neat stuff. Angie bought chocolate that looked like pebbles for her children (so her 2 year old is probably going to start eating rocks thinking they are chocolate), and chocolate body paint for her hubby. I bought my hubby chocolate covered sunflower seeds. Please, no one tell him what Angie’s husband got. I hate to see him pout.

We ate at Wunchie Bros. for lunch. It’s a German restaurant in one of the old houses. I had a craving for sausage sauerkraut balls, so it was good we were there. We then went to a few more shops, including a nice pricy baby shop. They had an adorable canopy round crib for $998. Uh, temping, but no.

I then tortured Angie and our moms by taking them by my new house. It is vacant so I got to take them inside for the nickel tour. They did the obligatory oohs and ahhhs and that’s very nice’s so I wouldn’t keep them there any longer. Then we headed up to The Woodlands. We had a nice relaxing boat tour on the river walk.


We were the only ones on the boat and Cap’n Dave entertained us very nicely with corny jokes and small talk.


We had a drink and a cookie at the food court in the mall


said “goodbye” to my mom, and headed back to downtown Houston.

We ate dinner at Papasito’s. The BEST Tex-Mex place IMHO. They said they liked it. I think they were afraid to say otherwise, as we Texans tend to get offended if people don’t like our Tex-Mex. We all got full to the rim, and then I dropped them off at their hotel and went to my apartment for some sleep.

Friday I picked them up at 10:30am (more promptly than the day before) and we ate breakfast at the Kolache Factory.


It’s a Czech pastry if you’ve never had one, and Texas has a Czech population that sure knows how to make them. Then we headed over to the Houston Potter’s Guild shop so they could get pottery souvenirs. We then went to the Houston Natural Science Museum.


We quickly learned it was class trip day. As we wove through what seemed like thousands of second through fourth graders and tried not to step on them, we got tickets for the Museum, the IMAX, and the Butterfly exhibit.

We saw “Thrill Ride” in the IMAX. We felt like we were on roller coasters and learned how they make virtual thrill rides. It was a good one. We went into the museum next and had fun playing with the chemistry section. Angie and I are such Science geeks.


Angie was chased by a prehistoric animal,


and got caught,


but apparently she tastes bad because he spit her out.

After the museum we went to our individual resting places for an hour of relaxation. I used it to call the inspector to inspect my new house next week and the mortgage company. I hope they took naps. Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory at the Galleria for dinner. We once again got stuffed. We did each get cheesecake, but took them home because we couldn’t eat another bite. I brought mine with me and shared it with Bryan when I got home. Oh, and my new favorite cheesecake is Tuxedo. YUM!

I probably gained 50 pounds while Angie and her mom were here, as Houston is made up of pretty much shopping and eating, but we had a blast!

Birds and Bees

This informative link is for Angie. She seemed very intreagued about the whole bird/sex thing I mentioned in my earlier post. And since I have nothing interesting to say these days I thought I would bore you again with some blubbering about birds and sex. Since Angie is so interested.

First, let me say that I think Angie is interested in this because she just had the birds and the bees talk with her son. It seemed to go well, unlike Adrienne, who had the same talk and it didn't quite come out right.

Anyway, why I said that I didn't get how birds have sex and I'm glad I'm not a bird, is birds just press up against eachother (the article says it much more scientifically) and transfer their "seeds" that way. Why would they want to do that? I mean, I accidentally leaned against someone at the grocery store. If I was a bird would that mean that I just had sex with that person? Especially since birds don't wear clothes. That could get very confusing if people did it that way. No one would know who to send their cards to on Father's Day.

Rumors in a small town.

Oh, I'm going to miss this small East Texas town (Population 322). The chicken fried steak. The longhorn ranches. The 20 year old pickup trucks. The lazy summer days. The ability to leave my doors unlocked. But one thing I will miss the most is the RUMORS.

Rumors to a small east Texas town are like the oil industry to Houston. The town simply could not survive without them. The little restaurant here in town has a sign that says "You don't see much in a small town, but what you hear makes up for it". It is so true.

Now, the sign might be true, but the RUMORS are usually about as true as what's in the National Enquirer. And because my husband is the town minister we generally hear all the rumors. An example, you ask? (See? You want to hear the rumors, too!). Well, a few weeks ago someone called here at 10pm and told my husband that the church in the neighboring small town was on fire. He agreed to go check it out (10 miles away), even though by the time he was called we were sure someone had called the fire department already. Sure enough, he gets over there and it was just a ...RUMOR. The church was fine.

Another time someone called and said there was a rumor that one of our congregates had died. My husband quickly called the family to see what happened...(after all, he is usually the first one that people call when a family member dies). They were fine and had no idea where the rumor came from.

Some of the rumors ARE true, though. For example...we would get a lot of vegetables given to us in the spring and summer. So much so that, being it was just the two of us, we could not eat them before they spoiled. And we would tell people that. And they would still give them to us in bushels. I would freeze what I could, but our freezer only has so much room. So, one day we had to throw some green onions away. Someone FOUND them in our trash (I would like to know why they were snooping through our trash in the first place). And told someone. Who told the person who grows onions. Who came up to me and asked why we threw away their onions. Sigh.

OK, maybe I won’t miss the rumors.

Question: Were you ever the victim of a rumor that wasn’t true?

Pregnancy Glow....my ass.

Sorry I've been a bit sparse lately. I've been down in the Houston area looking at houses. I went last week and will be leaving Tuesday to look again this week. I just realized that I need to find a house this week because we need to move into the house in about a month. Yikes! I was sitting around with a ton of time two weeks ago and now I don't know how I'm going to get everything done.

I realized this week as I was looking through my schedule how posh my life is right now. I mean, two months ago when I was working I lost sleep over half a million dollar deals and highly technical research. My schedule consisted of meeting with influential business people and talking about genetic research. I would have 20 things to do and get 19 done. Now I stress when I can't find material to match another material. I'll have 5 things to do and get 2 done. It's rather funny, actually.

So, I thought I would share some random thoughts I've had this week.

1. Pregnancy glow. Everyone says I have it. I think it's just the sweat on the extra skin I have because I am so wide.

2. If you are trying to sell your house it helps if you at least CLEAN the place or VACUUME before showing it. Or at least get the 3 inches of mold off the shower stall. And clean the cat littlerbox so the house doesn't smell like cat pee. Just an idea.

3. Is "original copy" an oxymoron?

4. I'm gaining too much weight! I'm not gaining enough weight! I'm gaining too much weight! I'm not gaining enough! (I admit I'm a little irrational there)

5. Is my stomach bigger? I don't think my stomach is getting bigger...no wait...it's bigger. No, it's not! Maybe the baby isn't growing...yes she is... (this is a daily thought as I analyze my large stomach in a mirror in the morning)

6. I've heard how birds have sex, but I just don't see how that works. It seems complicated. I'm glad I'm not a bird.

7. Why is it developers of new neighborhoods completely tear down beautiful trees and then plant little sticks when the houses are up? I know a lot of trees don't survive the construction, but at least TRY. If they don't survive you can cut them down later. And established trees look so much nicer.

8. Nascar. I don't get it. I don't think anyone will ever be able to explain it to me either. It seems really dumb to me.

9. Maybe its the business background but people who are late really bug me. And people who don't come prepared really bug me, too. I don't care what it's for, important or not. If others are involved be courteous.

That's it. My brain is pretty simple these days.

Question: Feel free to take one or two (or five) of my random thoughts and expand on it. I'm too tired to do it right now.

Telemarketing insanity

This morning the church phone rang. Since the house is right next door and hubby is the only staff person, it rings in our house as well as the church. He was working diligently on something when the phone rang, but he went ahead and answered it. And the person on the other end said “Does your church do fundraising?” My husband answered “Yes, we do”. And the lady on the other end of the phone goes into a long drawn out speech about the company she represents and their fund raising opportunities for churches. Then she says “Let me transfer you to our sales department, please hold,” and she put him on hold. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to the sales department. He never said he was interested. The only words he said was “Yes, we do”. So, while he was on hold he hung up.

The phone rings again, and I answered it (he had just walked out the door for a meeting). The guy asked for him and I said he wasn’t available, could I take a message. He goes OFF and says his employee quit and ran out of the building crying because my husband was so rude and he wanted him to know. I promptly hung up on him. After all, I didn’t need someone screaming at ME on the phone. The guy was WACKED.

I had no idea what he was talking about. I thought maybe someone else had called earlier when I was in the shower or something. I asked hubby when he got home what that was all about. After all, I’ve never seen him be rude to anyone. If anything, I try to field telemarketers because he will actually talk to them (not to insult any telemarketers out there…but it is annoying). He couldn’t believe it, and told me how the conversation went (which I had heard his “yes, we do” but I thought it couldn’t possibly be THAT call).

If I had known I probably would have told the guy that it’s best that the lady quit because she obviously can’t take the rejection that comes with sales and especially telemarketing.

I just couldn’t believe a telemarketer called to gripe us out for hanging up.

Question: What do you do when you get a call from a telemarketer?