Saturday, April 30, 2005

The way to be

I hear people talking about their mental state during pregnancy and they usually mention being extremely moody. I do find my once rock existance easily shaken when I see a lost puppy or a sad movie, as I've mentioned in the past. However, overall I find my pregnancy state as one of extreme happiness. I wake up ready to face the world (well, as long as it isn't TOO early). I admire the birds, nature, people. I reflect more. Of course, this probably has a lot to do with me quitting my very stressful career, too.

I thought to myself the other day that I really should try to be this way no matter what my state is. When I had that stressful career perhaps I should have let things roll off my back a little more, perhaps relaxed a bit. Of course, the career may not have been quite as successful, but life would have been more pleasant.

Anyway, one of my reflection times was while driving in downtown Houston. A young guy, my guess late 20's, was driving a little red beat-up pickup truck. He was driving down the very busy highway between the downtown buildings, and he was really enjoying his music. Or what I assume was music. He was dancing while driving, flailing his arms, bouncing in his seat, singing. He was definitely happy. He didn't care if people saw him singing in the car, making a fool of himself while dancing. He liked his music and he was going to enjoy it.

I thought, THAT is the way to be.

Of course, in the back of my mind I have a difficulty completely burying the negative. I worry about money, about raising this baby right, about post-partem depression. Come to think of it, maybe the guy in the car wasn't singing. Maybe he was on the cell phone having a screaming fight with his girlfriend.

OK, I have a little ways to go before I'm completely in the carefree, positive mode. But I'm trying. And I've come a long way.

No comments: