My husband and I struggle with infertility. It's frustrating on many aspects, as you can very well imagine. We've been trying for about four years now with no luck. It's true that you never know what people are going through until you've been there.
We've been married twelve (Yes, can you believe it? Twelve!) years in January. So, as you can imagine, people have asked over and over again "when are you having kids?". At first we avoided the issue, saying things like "When the time is right" or other generic answers. But, as time goes on, relatives and complete strangers start to press. Just about a month ago someone said "Are you guys having kids?" and Bryan said his ususal "Yes, someday" (which is a lot easier to say than "None of your damn business!"), and the person said "Well, don't wait too long, it will be too late! You only have a certain amount of time". I don't hold it against this person. She didn't know. She was a complete stranger making small talk.
Anyway, needless to say anyone who knows us at all knows by now. We've only told a few people, but word gets around. It's a little difficult to keep secret, and, truth be told, the support and knowing people are praying is nice. One thing though, I didn't expect is advice from everyone and their mother. I really don't mind the advice. Some of it is comical (someone suggested we sleep with the light on, they read it makes you more fertile). Although I must admit we often get people, usually in the older generation, that ask obvious questions that are a little irritating. I mean, here I am about to go through an artificial insemination session one person asks if we tried taking my temperature monthly. And when I got out of surgery for a laser laparoscopy to get rid of my endometriosis, and someone asks if they checked my hormone levels. (Oh! DUH! We never thought about that! Well, why did we cut her open then?).
Ahem. Anyway, all of those things didn't make me feel like we hit rock bottom when it comes to dealing with others and our fertility but something that happened today did. We got a letter from Bryan's 83 year old very Lutheran grandmother. She gave us "sex tips" such as I should be on bottom and suggested after having sex to lay on the bed for a while to let the sperm swim up. **shudder**
I'm going to go shower now.