Monday, March 14, 2005

The Dog door.

Stupid things I've done seem to be a topic of conversation at family gatherings, so why not join in on the fun in my blog?

When I got my dog we decided that a dog door was a good idea. She's a little 15 pound mutt, so we only needed a tiny little door. I decided to become Ms. Handywoman and intstall the thing myself. And I did a damn good job, if I do say so.

And Casey, our dog, loved it. It took some coaxing at first. But once she got the hang of it, she would go in and out, and in and out. I think just because she could. And I'm pretty sure I heard her say "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!" to the outdoor dog next door once before running inside.

One day my husband was gone somewhere. I can't remember where. It doesn't matter. But, what does matter is he wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. I somehow managed to lock myself out of the house. And this was well before I got pregnant so I don't have that as an excuse for my absentmindedness.

I checked the windows, rattled the doors, and couldn't get in. I was in the back yard and looked down and realized...AHA! The dog door! I can squeeze through! At least enough to reach up and get the knob unlocked!

So, I tried to reach in with one hand and unlock the knob, but it was too far. So, me and my brilliant thinking contorted my body to get myself in to my waist, then I reached up and unlocked the door! Wallah!

But, when I tried to get out, somehow the hole got smaller. I know it did. After all, how could I have gotten in if I can't get out? I twisted, moved, contorted myself in ways that I'm sure would have gotten me a job at the circus if I just remembered how to do them at the audition. All with no avail. The dog was now stuck inside and decided that she would get me back for everything I've ever done to her by taking advantage of this. She licked my face and there was nothing I could do but let her. And I know I heard her laughing.

I was stuck in that door for 45 minutes. It first I was hoping my husband would not come home early and find me in this compromising position. But then after about 30 minutes I was wishing he WOULD come home to help me get out. I finally twisted myself out. I don't know how.

I DO know that I was full of bruises when it was all said and done. That was the problem. When I undressed that night my hubby wanted to know where all those bruises came from. I tried to think of something good, like how I saved a kid from drowning in a well or something. But finally I had to come clean about the dog door. He almost died laughing. And I wouldn't have revived him if he had, I don't think.

Question: Is there something you've done that seemed like a great idea at the time but turned terribly wrong?

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