Friday, March 25, 2005's a strange phenomenon.

Sorry, God, but I think I would change one or two things in your grand plan. I think Men should be able to get pregnant.

Men don't get this experience. It's a shame. One day when I was particularly hormonal and grumpy, and feeling sorry for myself because my butt is getting huge, and my hips are getting huge, and I can even see weight gain in my face (although my husband says the face thing is in my head - no pun intended. But I don't believe him because he knows better than to say "Yea, your face is really looking FAT.". No, men, you can't win. But we do appreciate you trying.) I referred to the baby as a parasite inside my body. My dear husband got very upset.

I agree that wasn't a nice thing to say. I should be embracing every moment of this experience. But sometimes it feels that way. Like when you can't breathe because every organ is pushing your lungs. And when you read that if you don't get enough calcium while pregnant the baby will take it from you and you will get osteoperosis later. And when you have to pee every 12.2 seconds. And then I feel really bad for having the bad attitude, because this baby is such a blessing and someone who is wanted more than anything else on earth. How could I have said the word "parasite"? We agreed it was a symbiotic relationship. Not a parasite/host relationship. We BOTH benefit from the relationship. The baby gets what it needs physically and I get what I need emotionally. OK, now that we got THAT out of the way...

The way the baby feels at 4.5 months in the womb is hard to explain if you've never felt it. Have you ever won a goldfish at a fair? Did you hold the bag and feel the fish bump into your fingers? It's kind of like that (narrative courtesy of my sister). Some people say "bubbles" or others say "butterflies", but I think the goldfish theory is the best. I told my husband about this feeling and he looked excited and said "You feel the baby?!" then he looked very jealous. And then he said "I want to feel it". Now, I think he meant he wanted the baby to kick so he can feel it on ME. But I think he should be able to feel the goldfish in his stomach, too. Maybe I will have him swallow a goldfish and see if he can feel it.

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