Tuesday, February 15, 2005

There are creeps out there.

I get a heck of a lot of ideas for posts by reading your posts first. Yea, I'm a moocher. Milkmaid was talking about the spa day her sweet hubby gave to her for valentines. It reminded me of a creepy thing that happened to me. Actually, a series of creepy things. (Not that what her husband did was a creepy thing at all...it was very nice, but, well, you'll see what I mean)

The position that I have that will no longer be my position as of Friday (YAY!) is that of a sales representative for a bio-tech company. I go to research laboratories to visit customers. Labs who do some sort of medical research. Some of these laboratories are government labs, so the security is high. You practically have to give them your blood type, firstborn, AND 3 sets of identification to get in. But, I digress...

Anyway, I went in to do training for these people on this new, really cool instrument. I spent the morning showing them how it worked. I was there with a guy co-worker of mine and a girl co-worker of mine. We were wrapping up, and one guy had some questions about another piece of equipment. He took me to another lab to show it to me. We were talking about it, then out of the blue he says "What does your husband do?" I guess he knew I was married because I wear a wedding ring. I replied "He's a minister". Because, in fact, he IS a minister. I will say that I have difficulty telling people that. People have these weird, misconceptions of ministers. And their wives. And they often start treating you differently. But, anyway, I told him.

He gets this weird look on his face. If you could see me I would do it for you. Then he says "Come here". So, me, being STUPID followed him. He took me down this secluded hallway to an office. He tells me to go in the office, which, again being STUPID, I did. I was really thinking he had more business to discuss. The office was really small with no windows, as it is an inner office. He shut the door. Then he tells me to sit down, and again, being STUPID, I did. The chair had wheels and he scooted it against the wall so if the door opened I would be behind it. I start then to get creeped out.

He then sits down, rolls his chair so that he is facing me, gets so close his knees are pushed up against mine. He grabs my hands so I can't move them. He gets right in my face, I mean an INCH from my face, and starts telling me how he has had visions from God about how he was supposed to start a church. He kept telling me about these visions and the things God was telling me he was supposed to do. They got weirder and weirder. I won't go into them here, and I'm not going to dispute weather people get callings from God. But I DO think that some people that think they are hearing God's voice are really just schizofrenic. And I fully believe, after hearing all of his visions, that he was one of the schizofrenics. I was waiting for him to tell me he did/was going to kill someone because God told him to. He went on and on for about 30 minutes, holding my hands and 1 inch from my face, while I was scared to death. Then he started telling me that his wife didn't understand and she thought he was crazy (imagine THAT), and that he knew I would understand (I had just met the guy that morning and it was all business until that point). He started telling me he loved me, and that I was beautiful. The guy still had my hands so I couldn't move them. I was SO afraid he was going to attack me.

FINALLY, just then there was a knock at the door. His boss was looking for us. He opened the door and I RAN out of there. I know she probably thought something weird was up. We get back to where everyone else was, and the girl co-worker of mine made a comment about how they couldn't find us. And I said "we were in his office" and he says to her "If you're lucky, I'll take YOU in there next".

We left and I was REALLY quiet. They asked me what was wrong, but I didn't want to talk about it. Finally, after a while I told them. The guy co-worker of mine told me I needed to tell my manager right then. I called him. He, being an insensitive jerk guy, said something like "Oh, that's a bad day. You need a massage to relax. I'll pay for it".

I was going to refuse. After all, after that experience the last thing I wanted was someone TOUCHING me. But, after a few days I figured I'd never had a massage. I might as well. I waited a month or so to get it, but I did. That's the first and last massage I had.

And from now on, if anyone asks, my husband is an accountant.

Question: Is there a question that seems innocent to those who ask it, but when asked of you you cringe?


Nyx said...

That was a really bad day, so glad you took the massage and I hope you ran the mini-bar up while you were there.

The question I hate to answer is "And what do you do?" because without fail when people with jobs find out I stay at home with the kids, they answer "oh" in a very disappointed voice and walk off as quickly as possible. Other SAHP and me have loads to talk about, usually not kid-stuff either so this bugs me alot.

These people make me feel small because I choose to be at home with the kids. I should start replying "Oh" when they start talking about their work..

Nyx said...

Oh, and if a really cute guy starts chatting me up when I'm out, I'm always reluctant to inform him of the hubby. I know he'll just leave quickly and usually its quite fun to be chatted up for a while. I always wear my wedding ring too, obviously I get chatted up by the unobservant ones.

MilkMaid said...

Egads, that is so creepy Carol!! I'd have whacked the guy, no kidding. Wow...

I dunno bout the questions...I also get asked about work and when I say I work at home, I get the same as the SAHMs out there. I'd have given my right arm to have been home with my oldest and have been extremely lucky to have the opportunity to actually have an income producing job while the Little Kid is in school.

I also get some intersting looks when I say I ride my own bike...but it doesn't bother me really. :)

Anonymous said...

The question "so, why DON'T you have kids?" People automatically assume that anyone married would choose to have kids. They don't understand why someone would choose not to. Like we hate kids or something which couldn't be further from the truth. I've always been around kids in some form or fashion and right now hubby and I work with a weekly group of kids. We also are fortunate to have kids in our lives - they just don't belong to us. LOL


cesca said...

Oh. My. God.

I have to say, I had NO IDEA what I was going to answer your question with until I read the other answers. Now it's so obvious. I also hate having to defend my SAHM status. I tend to really push the fact that I have business cards that say "marketing assistant" on them (I work 8 hours a week)!

As for the minister's wife thing... well, I have a confession to make. When I first read your profile and saw that you were a "preacher's wife" I almost backed off, thinking "she'll hate me, I don't go to church, I sometimes swear!" But now I know how WRONG WRONG WRONG I was. You're cool!

Carol (Smiles and Laughter) said...

LOL, Cesca! I get that ALL THE TIME. I almost didn't put that in my profile, but then I figured, what the heck, why hide it? I am who I am.

And I realize after reading your response and llcoffee's that I'm probably going to hate having to answer the SAHM comments, too. That's it. My husband and I are BOTH accountants! ;)

happyandblue2 said...

I hate when people I've just met ask for my phone number. I usually give them the number of a morgue or the police.

Elle said...

I've got a lot to say on this one sister, so sit back.

First of all YOU were not being stupid, you were being wise. The worst thing you could have done was to agitate him. He was obviously not stable. How could you possibly know that was going to happen in the situation you were in. For future reference, a good knee to the groin is also a wise choice.

I bet if you told him you were a lawyer's wife, he would have said he was in legal trouble and needed your help. Psycho to the core.

Secondly, your (ex)manager could use a knee to the groin as well. It is that kind of insensitivity that not only breeds sexual harassment against women in the workplace but condones sexual assault. Shame on him. You should let him know that he is legally responsible for his response to your claim and can be sued. (Tell him this right before bringing up your knee.)

I think it is totally cool that you are a minister's wife, because you are totally cool.

The question.... What do I do for a living. I am a SAHM, but I have a part-time private practice (mental health). Now the secret's out. I hate telling new people especially if it is in a social setting. At first they say, "Oh, that's nice", which is quickly followed by "Can I ask you a question?" which is then followed by being captive by someone in dire need of mental health, and trying to get it for free and in one evening.

Don't get me wrong, if anyone ever wants to ask a question or needs info, I'm here for you, just not when I am out having some fun (and most likely some drinks). I used to tell people I was a waitress to avoid the whole scene, but then I had to hear their "worst waitress" stories.
Go figure.